Friday Night Rambles VOL: 16 Dating in Atlanta: Accountability, Attention, and the Myth of “Readiness”

What if “I’m not ready” is honest—but not the whole story? We unpack the messy middle of modern dating where loneliness, attention, and mixed signals tangle into months (or years) of “almost.” From Atlanta’s endless options to the quiet pressure of good-morning texts and “I’ll call you back,” we challenge the idea that more choices equal better connections and ask where accountability really starts.

We get real about staying when someone states their limits, the friend-zone economy, and why trial periods rarely stay neutral. You’ll hear raw takes on cheating culture, self-control in the age of smartphones, and how copy-paste courtship scripts drain authenticity. We also go deeper: redefining “need” in relationships beyond survival, naming the seasons where companionship serves a purpose, and honoring the parts of ourselves we shed to survive. Sometimes you can’t resurrect the playful version of you after heartbreak—you build a wiser one instead.

Along the way, we discuss how to pursue with intention without theatrics, why clear routines matter more than big gestures, and how to protect your future self from crash-out moments—those door knocks, pop-ups, and impulsive choices that feel like love but taste like panic. The throughline is simple, not easy: clarity is kindness. Believe people the first time, align your actions with your words, and refuse to call loneliness “standards.”

If this resonates, share it with a friend who’s navigating “not ready” territory. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: what’s your non-negotiable for real connection?

Chapters

• 0:00 Loneliness, Companionship, Boundaries
• 3:00 From Jokes to Dating Reality
• 11:00 Atlanta’s Dating Math and Accountability
• 20:00 Honesty, Readiness, and Staying Anyway
• 28:00 Friend Zone Economics and “Purpose”
• 36:00 Rosters, Transactions, and Self-Control
• 46:00 Cheating Culture, Phones, and Temptation
• 56:00 Pursuit, Preferences, and “Squares”
• 1:05:00 Texting Etiquette, Calls, and Misreads
• 1:16:00 Attention, Rotation, and Scripts
• 1:25:00 Serial Dating and Big-City Logistics
• 1:33:00 Needs vs. Independence: Then and Now
• 1:45:00 Fairy Tales, Dark Sides, and Guarded Hearts
• 1:56:00 Triggers, Pop-Ups, and Crash-Outs
• 2:06:00 Respect, Patterns, and Managing Conflict
• 2:14:00 Closing Reflections and Takeaway

Transcript

James: 0:01

And saying the same exact thing. And so he was like, So you yeah, you can't rather. But anyways, go ahead, Mike.

Keshia: 0:10

Well, what I will say is if you can't relate, be happy, you cannot relate. Because there are some people in this world that are truly lonely. They have no family, they have no friends, they have no that's what I'm getting at. You you you just be be grateful you cannot relate. But don't judge the people that if that's their last go-to, do what works for you.

James: 0:38

And be grateful that you can relate while you can. Exactly. So because you can immediately lose your life could change in the blink of an eye.

Keshia: 0:46

That is very true.

Michael: 0:49

Man, would I ever break down? I don't even want to do that. You can't say no.

Keshia: 0:57

Don't ever say what you want. Never do. You like to do that?

unknown: 1:02

Life.

Michael: 1:06

But I wouldn't even do it out of curiosity.

James: 1:08

Like, like first you would do it out of curiosity, dude. Why are you saying that? Okay.

KeKe: 1:13

I think you would do it. Maybe curiosity.

James: 1:15

Maybe I would rent one for a even take it for a someone hit the brakes.

Michael: 1:23

Could you could you imagine somebody selling a used one?

James: 1:27

Me.

Michael: 1:28

Could you imagine someone buying a used one?

James: 1:32

And guess what? They're out there.

Michael: 1:35

Oh bro, it's so many fucking weirdos. Yeah, I've only had them for six months. Like, bro. Oh my god. How much could happen in six months?

James: 1:45

It just wasn't for me.

Michael: 1:47

Oh man, she's barely got no miles.

James: 1:50

I'm thinking of upgrading. Oh my god, that's crazy. But yeah, they're out there. Weirdos, dude. And god damn it, they're they consistently are white. And it makes dude.

Michael: 2:06

In Asian. In Asian.

Speaker 00: 2:10

Oh wow.

Keshia: 2:10

Well, I'll say, I'm pretty sure it's some black people like them. They just don't see it.

James: 2:17

Yeah, everybody does it. Yeah. The type of black dude who gets caught doing that type of shit is the guy that you remember the guy. You remember the guy who was like, I like white girls, the thick type. It's that dude. He's autistic. He loves he his mom probably beat him for trying to turn Super Saiyan in his room. That's funny. Just screaming at the top of his lungs, watching Dragon Ball Z. He loves anime.

Keshia: 2:46

He's just different. He's just different.

Michael: 2:50

But you know what? Rolling into it. But but in in today's society, dating and relationships are starting to become so superficial. You don't know what's real, what's fake. And the game is played so well these days. Like somebody could have, you know, have you going for a loop and then out of nowhere, you know, it just sweeps you like a, you know, from under you. I've heard so many, you know, stories of somebody saying, Yeah, man, I met this person. Three months later, they're in a relationship. Three months later, they move into each other. Three months later, they find out it's a whole nother family on the other side of town.

Keshia: 3:41

Especially in that is possible.

Michael: 3:44

And it's but it but it it sucks. But when you live in a place like this, it's it's very easy to get caught up like that because you can literally have somebody in Alpharetta, somebody in Conyers.

Keshia: 3:59

Really just like the audacity. They don't care no more. I had this conversation last two days. They do not care anymore. The downside of Atlanta is there are too many females here. Dudes don't have to hold themselves accountable. I had a dude tell me, well, if let's say God sends you exactly what you're looking for, what you need, but you just not ready to receive her because you still playing the game or whatever the case may be, his response to me was, Well, that's okay. I just go on to the next one. Hopefully, my eyes are open that I can see she's what I need. But if not, I didn't move on. Oh wow.

Michael: 4:45

What's the problem? What do you mean? What's the problem?

Keshia: 4:50

Straight up, like how do you build with somebody if you just gonna have that over here?

James: 4:54

How do you build with somebody if you just take from somebody?

Keshia: 4:57

What do you mean? How are you able to build with someone if it's just that's all right, you ain't work out, I'll move on to the next one.

Michael: 5:09

It happens all the time with males and females. But it's on both sides. On both sides. Sometimes one person's not ready, sometimes the other person's not ready. So if you are if you're that person that's ready, and this person is not, and you're steadily trying to, you know, go after that person, of course that person's not gonna, you know, receive it because they're not in that that space. Agreed. And you can't fault that person for not grasping grasping on. So it's like you literally, but the thing is, what sucks is people ain't straight up.

Keshia: 5:54

That is the problem. That's the part that's the problem.

James: 5:57

And I think also it's they're not straight up with other people and also not straight up with themselves.

KeKe: 6:02

Agreed. Yeah, for sure.

James: 6:04

And I think a lot of people go in with like um, and this is goes back to social media, like it's like just delusions of what you expect, what what you think a relationship should look like. But it's really just, you know, if you meet someone, if you vibe or whatever, like it should just be that.

Keshia: 6:27

But what is a relationship supposed to look like? Good question.

James: 6:31

Uh-huh.

Keshia: 6:32

Very good question.

Michael: 6:34

I are you asking that in a sarcastic way to be able to do it?

Keshia: 6:36

Okay, what is a person, what is a person supposed to look like that that like what are you looking for in this person that you should be in this relationship with? Like, what is it supposed what is that person supposed to look like? Like, like what are you looking for for this relationship? For you to not find it in this and then in what time frame? It's it's right. How long am I supposed to wait for you to get your shit together? But the but see, I feel like that's the problem.

James: 7:06

It's like you shouldn't have to wait for people to get their shit together.

KeKe: 7:09

So you shouldn't have to wait for people to get their shit together.

Keshia: 7:12

However, do so do you deprive yourself of a relationship because you don't that person doesn't have their shit together?

James: 7:20

No, I deprive myself, I deprive myself because I don't have my shit together. Okay. It's not it I fucked up a lot of shit. Okay, and so I know and I have dabbled, but it I know that I'm not ready for that. I don't want to hurt people. I don't wanna you know, I don't want to fuck about. It's not a game.

Keshia: 7:44

So if you get with someone who says, Okay, I hear all that, what you're saying, right?

KeKe: 7:50

Right. I'm willing to be with you while you work through these things.

Keshia: 7:54

You gonna say no and pass up something good because of your own, you know. As far as y'all just kicking it, she knows I'm not. I told her I wasn't ready. She knows I'm not ready, but she's deciding to still entertain me knowing I'm not ready. So how long do you expect her to stick around? And then do you expect her to stick around?

James: 8:14

I don't. No.

Keshia: 8:16

But if she did, you're gonna but if she did, you'll let her. And that is the messed up part, I think. But but she's wrong for sticking around. How is that the messed up part? But because then you'll say, Well, I told you.

KeKe: 8:29

How can you say, but you also how am I at fault?

James: 8:32

How am I at fault for you sticking around?

KeKe: 8:35

But you also didn't stick to the side.

James: 8:36

You'll let of course I'll let you. But you also didn't say that. Of course, it feels good, it feels good while I'm working through my shit.

Keshia: 8:42

But you also did not say, Well, if you don't want to hurt, you say you don't want to hurt someone.

James: 8:47

But you'll stick around, you just said.

Keshia: 8:49

And you let me. Of course.

KeKe: 8:51

Why? But hold up, hold on, hold on.

Michael: 8:53

Because you said you wouldn't accountability.

KeKe: 8:56

I'm not saying the first time.

Michael: 8:58

Once once he said how he felt, from that point on, the ball is in your court. It's not on him no more. Because the thing that most women want is honesty and being straight up. And that man was being straight up just then and saying, if I'm I'm I don't want to hurt, I don't want to do this, I don't want to do that. And you're like, Well, I'll wait around, but I don't know how long you're gonna wait around. Okay, so from that point on, whatever the fuck you get, you're just gonna have to take that shit because you had it out when he told you that, but you wanted to stay. That was straight up honesty.

James: 9:43

That's where I'm at. And if you if you choose to stay, of course you stay. Of course, because if I'm telling that to a person, that means I care about them.

Keshia: 9:54

Nah, no. You can't say that no. I can guarantee. I you can't care about them.

KeKe: 9:59

I'm in a situation now about me, and person don't care nothing.

Keshia: 10:02

And the drop of the line be willing to be like, all right, bye. That's not, I don't think that's cared about somebody. I feel like at the beginning.

James: 10:09

If I'm being honest, you can't be straight up about me and saying this is where I'm at. Dude.

Keshia: 10:15

That does not mean that you care about me. That means that you are being honest, and it's on you to take what I'm saying. If you stay, you stay, you don't, you don't.

Michael: 10:24

But at the same token, that person can't care for you.

Keshia: 10:28

They can develop being careful, start caring for you.

Michael: 10:31

But at first, if if I if if I don't want to fuck you over, I gotta care somewhat. It might not be I love you or I I don't believe it. I hard care about you. And listen, but I care about you enough that I don't want to fuck you over.

James: 10:47

And that's all I'm trying to say. And so let's let's check this out. So if I tell you straight up, like, I'm dealing with my own shit, I'm trying to work through this shit, I don't think this is gonna work, and you say, Well, I'll work through it with you, okay. We'll go with that. If I work through it and I make it, I'm a champion and you stuck by me side by side. That I mean you're choosing. I don't like it.

Keshia: 11:15

If I fuck up, because if I fuck up, everybody always got going on. Even if I stay with you through you working through your BS, that does not mean because you've already said at the beginning, I'm not ready for a relationship. I chose to stay and work with you through your BS. Once you work through your BS, it's not a guarantee that you're gonna pick me. You might go out and oh now I'm with somebody else now. Or I choose somebody else now.

James: 11:41

We're getting we're getting past the first thing. If I tell you that I'm not ready for a relationship and you tell me, well, I want to stay anyways, that is on you.

Keshia: 11:52

Agreed, but you're gonna be doing relationship stuff. You getting the benefits, but it is on her to provide all of that.

Michael: 12:00

It's the pen there you go. That's on her.

James: 12:16

A trial period. It's just straight up platonic.

Keshia: 12:20

It may not even grow into anything. You gotta be willing to accept that. That it may not grow into nothing.

James: 12:26

Most times it doesn't.

Michael: 12:29

People know so seven is with us by phone, y'all. And you know, we're gonna continue going from where we are. So seven, we was talking about, you know, dating and um the dating scene right now, and you know, we're caught up in a in a back and forth about um what how how can how can I say this?

Keshia: 12:52

Um if a guy tells you that he is not ready for a relationship for whatever reason, and you decide to stay, as a female, are you boo-boo the fool for staying? Or are you okay, I'm gonna be your ride or die. I'm gonna I'm I'm gonna ride this till till the wheels fall off, till you work through your bullshit. He's saying it's all on the woman if she stays. That's on you. Yes.

Seven: 13:19

I I agree.

Michael: 13:20

I think I think I don't know if I would say she's a fool, but I would say Yeah, it's not a it's not always a negative, but sorry, go ahead.

Seven: 13:28

I would say, I would say, you know, proceed at her own risk, because like he already told you that he's not really wanting anything. And so if you move forward, it's like that's on you, you know, like you can't be you can't be shocked if it doesn't turn into anything because you already knew going into it.

Michael: 13:52

And so, so the the two ladies uh they don't agree with that wholeheartedly. No, I agree with that. No, we agree with that.

Keshia: 14:04

The issue is no no no no no. I agree with that. We agree with that. That is not the part. The issue is So what's what's the at what point do both parties take accountability? I either walk away because you still own this, I'm not ready for a relationship, but you get in all relationship benefits, right? Or hey, I'm gonna go ahead and make you mine because you have stuck with me through thick and thin.

James: 14:29

How is not telling someone that you are not ready for a relationship taking accountability and being like, dude, I don't want to go any further. If I go further, you're going to love me more, and I don't want to do that. So I don't because I don't want to hurt you. So let's at the beginning.

Keshia: 14:45

Let's say that this goes on for four or five years, ten years.

Michael: 14:49

Well, now you're changing timelines. The ball is still in court. But that is very important. The ball is still in your court. That's just like a nigga being in the friend zone.

KeKe: 14:57

Now, yeah, I know.

Michael: 14:58

The ball is that's a very good comparison. That's a very good comparison. The ball is always in that that in the city.

Keshia: 15:04

Nah, because that let's just say she cut cold turkey right now. Right? She cut him cold turkey.

Michael: 15:08

Uh-huh.

Keshia: 15:09

He's gonna feel away. You know you're gonna feel away.

James: 15:13

Detachment always has its feelings, bro. Do you not think that me going to someone and being like, I'm not ready for a relationship? Um you think I'm just cutting that off and being like, like, no. Um, of course that's still gonna suck. And I've done that.

Keshia: 15:28

Because uh So, what is the point if you tell the girl I get everybody needs companionship? I guess I'm getting ready to answer my own question. What is the point what is the point of telling a girl I'm not ready for a relationship but allowing her to stay around or because everyone needs companionship? I guess there you go.

James: 15:49

I feel like I feel like when it okay people get lonely. I'm sorry, go ahead.

Seven: 15:56

So if I I wish I was I wish I was on video.

James: 16:00

I wish you were here.

Michael: 16:02

I know I wish I was too, like, we didn't even do an introduction, but well, we we we did introduct well, we we we did introductions on on the the camera, but as you you you met you met Keisha, and then we also have Kiki. Uh sorry Kanisha over here as well.

KeKe: 16:29

Okay, Kiki. I can be Kiki. I can be Kiki, it's okay.

Michael: 16:35

Kiki.

unknown: 16:36

Kiki and Keisha.

Seven: 16:39

Okay, um, so okay, so this is how I feel about it, right? Because I've been on both sides. And so I feel like if I know that I'm looking for a relationship, like if I if I if I decided that I'm ready for a relationship, that's what I want, and I meet a guy and he's like, I don't want a relationship, then for me, if I know I want one, I'm not gonna continue talking to him. Like the choice I make. If I know he doesn't want what I want, I'm always my problem. I'm gonna keep thinking around until I find somebody that I like that doesn't want what I want. Otherwise, I'm kind of playing myself.

Keshia: 17:26

I agree. I can't um You agree. No, thank you. I agree. I can't agree, I can't agree wholeheartedly. And the reason I say that is because it depends on the person's on the female situation. So I'll give you an example. As it always does. No, no, no. My life right now, I want a relationship, I'm not ready for a relationship. I have my reasons why I'm not ready for a relationship. The guy that I'm talking to, he said at the beginning, I'm not ready for a relationship.

James: 18:02

So why are you talking to him for something to do?

Keshia: 18:06

Because with me, if people know me, I'm a homebody. I'm I'm I'm focused on my kid right now and getting her off to college. So he is something, he's serving his purpose in his life. But I know this ain't going nowhere. And yeah, it ain't gonna be nothing. Now, once Kaya graduates, we'll probably still be friends, but it ain't we're not working towards anything. Then I will start actively dating and actually looking to see, okay, if I end up in a relationship. But right now I don't want a relationship. I want a relationship, but I don't want anybody. Fair enough.

KeKe: 18:40

When you're finished with your kid, are you going to want a relationship? You're gonna date other people, but what about him? He's not he's not then the tables turn.

Keshia: 18:49

If you stay around, you stay around. If you don't, you don't. And that's gonna be a conversation head, right? I think we've already had that conversation. Um now, if he forgets in the next year and a half, that's on him.

Seven: 19:03

So do y'all have feelings for each other?

Keshia: 19:05

Like I used to have feelings for him, I no longer have feelings for him. Okay. So I'm the type of person that I'm the type of person that the honeymoon I fall in the honeymoon phase really, really, really, really quickly. So and I my fault and my flaw is I feel like I can change people. I am now to the to to the realization that Keisha, you can't change nobody. And then the more that you are around somebody and you get to know somebody, you realize, no, you don't have the characteristics that I want in my husband. I'm good. Like it even if you worked on yourself, like James said, you work through your bullshit. I don't want struggle love anymore. I'm not willing to go through that. I've been through it too many times, and I understand that no relationship is perfect, and there's gonna be some type of struggle love, but I know my limits. I'm not willing to go through you fixing your bullshit to say, okay, I'm ready now. Now I'm good. No, thank you.

Seven: 20:23

Yeah, I feel that. I definitely feel that like the struggle love and I ain't with that fixing yourself or you with me like black.

Michael: 20:34

But you know, on on the on the flip side, I see a lot of these guys, and you know, a lot of them can be infatuated with with somebody, and they will go broke, go all the way out their way, and still end up stuck in the friend zone. And a lot of times he knows he's in the friend zone and accepts it, helps her get ready for dates and everything.

KeKe: 21:05

Oh wow.

Michael: 21:06

There are guys I know nobody like that.

KeKe: 21:10

From a dude's perspective, who the hell does that?

Michael: 21:12

There's guys there's guys out here that that that plays the friend and that sits here and acts like ain't nothing going on, but he knows that he wants to be in the spot, but he can't get there. It might be because he's ugly, his breath stank, he's short, especially the short guys. Shout out short guys.

Speaker 00: 21:33

Shout out short guys, and you sink. Shout out the short kings.

James: 21:37

Hold on a second. First off, shout out the short kings. Second off, James, you ain't short neither. What? You ain't short neither. I know that. But I wish them out. Yeah. And second off, second off, hold on. You don't try to sit here and be a he's trying to be like, oh, yeah, uh short king. No. You're a height supremacist. No, no, no. Yes, you do. Because you know, oh, everyone thinks that they're six foot. They say, oh, I'm 5'11, I'm 5'10, or they think they're six foot. It's dude.

Michael: 22:09

Because that they're like, it's just like, you know, I'm 5'11, proud.

James: 22:16

I'm just damn proud of 5'11.

Michael: 22:18

Right, right. But some will be like 5'11 and still scream they're six feet tall. People do like, yeah, but that shit is gay. They know that that six feet marker is for some odd reason, like right now, the six figures, the six feet. For some odd reason.

James: 22:36

It's these guys. You're an idiot. They're doing. All they talk about is height. Look at her. She's trying to hide a smile. She knows.

Keshia: 22:43

Listen, I know I like somebody that's my height or taller, perfectly taller. I don't, I don't want nobody my height. You gotta be taller than me. Yeah, I I give you a pass depending on what you look like, if you're my height. But normally I would prefer somebody taller than you.

James: 22:57

I'm see, I'm I the tallest I'll go is like 5'9 for a woman. Yeah, I can see that.

Keshia: 23:06

Most people want to date somebody that's for guys shorter than them, for guy for females taller than them.

James: 23:15

I can understand the uh the female's mind of you know uh a giant.

Keshia: 23:23

Yeah, like you want to look up at your dude.

James: 23:27

All right, whatever. That's fine. But the short kings, they gotta get they gotta have their day. They are the most discriminated people. They are the most discriminated people.

Keshia: 23:37

They have a heart, they do have a heart.

Michael: 23:39

But that's why, that's why a lot of them, a lot of them will sit there and they're very aggressive. You see a lot of short guys being very big or bosses.

Keshia: 23:46

But we have a problem. Because we're the same size, don't get aggressive with me. What are you doing? We're the same size, don't get aggressive with me.

Michael: 23:56

But see, that's the thing though, you know, that's how you'll get a subway single.

Keshia: 23:59

Honestly, you don't find too many short alpha males. Most of them are beta males, they're not alpha males.

Michael: 24:08

So let's take a break, real yes, dude. God, cigarette time. All right, and we are back at the quick break. Uh so I'm um I'm still getting used to filming, and so we had the beginning filming, and then it's my bedtime, and then we ran out of memory card space, so we're gonna continue this.

James: 24:40

Bro, you're the type of person you probably when you sleep, you probably snore like you go honk shoo, honk, you go, now with that bedtime, do that alarm. Well, man, you honk shoo, dude. You definitely can't shoot.

Michael: 24:56

I like, I like, I like soft stuff, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, I like the wind blowing at night time. You know, I like all that type of stuff. I don't know why people, you know, like I like my music, you know, soft. Well, not soft, soft, but you know, I don't like all that. Shoot them up, bang, bang, you know. So anywho, I wasn't coming at you, bro. I was just saying, I wasn't taking it no way, you know me.

James: 25:24

But um, what were we what where were we at before we uh we were talking about how Seven was saying that I was right about everything that I said.

Michael: 25:39

But oh, I remember I was talking, I was, I flipped it, and we were talking about the guys, you know. I I think that I think that really it's it's on both ends, because I think that just as much as a guy will reap the benefits off of a woman stand, a lot of time a woman reaps the benefit off of a guy staying in the friend zone that don't mind every time they go out, he pays for the dinner.

Keshia: 26:09

Agreed. Like the purpose of my friend, he's bringing me. If you go back and listen to the last podcast I was on, he's bringing me out of my bubble. He's getting me used to talking to someone every day, he's getting me used to telling someone about my day, he's getting me used to we're going out and he's paying for it. And I'm not always paying for it. You know what I mean? We're paying for it together. Like he's getting me out of my bubble. So while we know this ain't going nowhere, you're serving your purpose. If that makes sense.

Michael: 26:44

But do you think that your emotions are gonna get too involved after a while?

Keshia: 26:48

I know what it is. Again, like I just said, you you don't have the qualities that I want in my husband. I you know what? I understand what you're saying, but it'd be like you I will feel like I'm wasting myself away. If I were dating and entertaining other people, yes, I would be wasting time with him. But because I'm not dating anybody and I'm not entertaining anyone else, or even putting myself in the situation to meet someone else, because my lifestyle is I'm a parent 24-7, literally. I don't have time to meet nobody else.

James: 27:27

So you're just wasting his time.

Keshia: 27:29

No, okay. He don't are on the same thing. I know we don't have time. Yeah, it's not even like we don't we don't have time, but it's not all right. So, yeah, fair, fair enough. It's not even necessarily the time for me, it's just myself in general. Like, I'm giving something to somebody, and nothing is gonna come of this. It's like it's a waste of time, body, emotion, everything. So it's just like that like that. Like I get it, he's there for the time being, but I don't know. I just I don't know.

Michael: 28:04

You never had a smash and dash.

Keshia: 28:06

It ain't even about it ain't even about I guess my thing is this, and I'll say it. But I'm not gonna be able to do that I was in a situation before meeting him where when you didn't have anybody, you didn't have adult contact, you didn't have, you were a mom 24-7, and you didn't go anywhere, and you didn't like you, you it's not a good place to be mentally. So again, he's serving his purpose. Okay, I don't want to go back to that. Right. If I had a roster, okay, yeah, you're not serving your purpose, move on, but that's not me.

Michael: 28:40

After she graduates, will you get a roster?

Keshia: 28:43

Probably not, because you know that's still not me.

Michael: 28:45

Probably not.

Keshia: 28:46

Probably not, no. Because my thing is this I don't understand about a roster. How can you seriously take somebody serious or get to know somebody seriously when you got all these other people that you be entertaining? It's not possible. I don't care what you say. Now, dudes, they claim they can do it all. You cannot do that. Right, you can't do that. To this one person to see if it'll make out, you know, if it'll be something because you're giving it to people.

Michael: 29:15

I bet if I went through y'all phones right now, it's a nigga named Dinner, it's a nigga named Light Bill, it's a nigga named Gas.

Keshia: 29:27

I'm still trying to figure out why my students hey, listen, that part is at the end of the day, if you if you think about it like that, gas, light bill, phone bill, whatever, at what point does it become prostitution? At what point does it become prostitution? You fucking just to get something out of somebody? No, you don't do that.

James: 29:47

But you be on a date, all of a sudden Georgia Power starts calling.

Speaker 06: 29:51

Nah, man, no.

Michael: 29:54

But but but but we we all we all have social media. All look at YouTube. We all see Instagram. We all see TikTok. That's what's promoted.

Keshia: 30:07

I be sitting trying to feel like it's a little bit more. How she done went on these mini trips? I mean, what am I doing? How you not feel some type of way? Like you fucking to get my glued out?

James: 30:16

I knew it. What happened? That's what they do. What? All they need is to go on a trip. I need to take a picture of my feet in the space.

Keshia: 30:22

Where did I miss the sign up? Listen, I ain't about that life. Sorry.

James: 30:26

Sucker, please. Pay for this trip for me to go to Jamaica so I can take a picture of my feet in the space.

Keshia: 30:31

It happens so easy with people, and I just be like, damn.

Michael: 30:35

How do you remove yourself from your morals and values? Morals and values.

Keshia: 30:41

To let a nigga just okay, I'ma use this nigga to pay for this. I'ma use this nigga to pay for that. I'ma use this nigga to fly me here.

Michael: 30:52

That's just human interaction, though. Well, they said that's mutual. They said that's mutual.

KeKe: 30:56

That's not using nobody.

Michael: 30:58

It's not prostitution, but it is still using him for a purpose. But it's not using a purpose. Okay, but we're gonna They're using each other.

James: 31:09

I mean, they she just said that.

Michael: 31:11

He said that it says that.

Keshia: 31:15

I guess. But we're talking about monetary stuff. Like when you start, oh, I'ma fuck you because I need you to pay my light bill or I need you to pay my gas bill or phone bill. What is worth more?

James: 31:27

Uh uh money or energy?

Keshia: 31:30

Mine is energy. Yeah, my my opinion is I would prefer the person's I don't need you to do nothing for me. I don't need you to pay nothing. Now I'm billing my house. Okay.

James: 31:40

But see, that's weird to me. I couldn't imagine myself being keeping someone around. If I don't if I can't see you being in my life for the rest of my life, I don't really want you around.

Keshia: 31:53

So what do you do with your time?

James: 31:56

Stay by myself. I'm very I I'm I'm quite comfortable being by myself.

Keshia: 32:01

I'm comfortable by myself, but no, you're not. But we're human, nobody is. We're not meant to be by ourselves. So whether you be able to I don't like being alone, but I don't want to settle in the in something that I know it's not gonna go anywhere.

James: 32:18

Do you know what's worse than being by yourself is being with another person feeling alone?

Michael: 32:24

Or being being feeling alone in a in a in a crowd of some rooms.

unknown: 32:31

I can't see it.

Keshia: 32:32

Of course, that's not my focus on that. My focus is on my kid, getting her off to college. My focus is on buying a house.

James: 32:38

And who can knock you for that?

Michael: 32:40

No one can knock you for that. I think I think that it's easy to say that when it it is not, it hasn't been presented.

Keshia: 32:47

So what you mean? Let me let me say this. So I have the same focus. Focus on my career, focus on my daughter. I want to focus on, you know, building myself up, because you know they say you are what you attract. Okay. However, what's the harm in having somebody while you're doing those things? My if you knew my life, my life doesn't cons there's no time part. But you seriously, like I don't have time.

Michael: 33:13

But you but you still have the opportunity and time to to for your shenanigans.

Keshia: 33:19

What shenanigans? Like with that man. If a man can count like right now.

KeKe: 33:26

If a man came into your life right now with all of this going on, you your focus is tunnel vision right now. You said it, and we understand what your focus is. If he came in and wowed you right now, you ain't gonna tell me, sis, that you ain't gonna find time for that damn man.

Keshia: 33:42

But what is your definition of wowing me? I guess I it is hard out here, my guys.

James: 33:49

Boy, it's hard out here, bro. Everything that you will want in your dream man. It's not gonna be your definition of wow.

Keshia: 33:55

I'm telling you what wow is. Everything that you will want in a dream man, once all of this has settled, the dust has settled. So, and you got this perfect man here, right? And he's willing to be with you through whatever it is you're saying that you're focused on right now, right?

KeKe: 34:12

You're gonna be in your shoes right now, and you're the one saying I'm not ready. But he's like, I'm here, I ain't going nowhere. I'm ready.

Keshia: 34:18

And I'm my behind. My mean ass, and Mike can attest to this. We talk about this every Christmas, every Thanksgiving.

James: 34:26

You're a mean ass.

Keshia: 34:28

My mean ass.

James: 34:30

You're too rude, dude. You are a woman. Why are you here?

unknown: 34:33

I am.

Keshia: 34:34

I am, I know I am. I don't know. Why are you here? What is your purpose? What would it what yeah?

Michael: 34:42

But I go ahead, go ahead. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.

Keshia: 34:45

You're sorry.

Michael: 34:46

I I I I honestly think that, you know, there's somebody for everybody. Agreed. Do you think that that with all the I'm not ready, I'm not ready, I'm not ready, I'm focused on my career, I'm focused on my kid, I'm focused on whatever your focus is is on, and then, you know, they'll be like, it ain't no good men out here. I think that's a good thing. No, I won't say that. But if there's been a uh, you know, somebody that is presented to you, I just think that it'll be crazy that you keep brushing it off, and then later on down the line in your life.

Keshia: 35:27

Tell her okay, to her example. If somebody like that was to come, we would have to take it extremely slow.

James: 35:36

I wouldn't take you seriously. Why when you're letting some person that you don't even care about do what they do? Yeah.

Seven: 35:46

And you know, like, again, I'm not there, so I I I'm trying to say this, like, you know, we all women, like, you know, I'm I'm with you. So is there something that you're working through or scared of or something that has happened that makes you because when you say you want to take it really slow, and I respect that because you shouldn't take it slow, but it almost sounds like there's a hesitation or like fear.

Keshia: 36:14

Yeah. Like I I I've poured into so many people when I do take somebody serious, I want them to pour into me. I want it to be genuine. I ain't got time for the games. I don't want to go through nothing remotely reminding me of my past at all. Do you think that you're gonna get that 100%? You gonna get with somebody and not gonna remind you ever of anything you've ever been through in life with. I don't want to go through struggle love, but I know ain't no love perfect. Like you gotta go through some kind of struggle a little bit. So when you say struggle love, right? You know, when you get married and they say what you I what what fucking what I I hope to get there one day.

Michael: 37:01

What fairy tale book that y'all learn relationships from? I know what do you mean any and all, any and all, because to be honest with you, everybody's playing the field differently. And it it it's what you mean. Let me say this.

KeKe: 37:17

Let me say this. When you say fairy tale book, I ain't been in no damn fairy tale book because if I was, this shit would have been already signed, still delivered.

Michael: 37:24

Right, like but but but but no no no but true. What do you what are you saying? Because at the same token, we're going back to what we were saying before. Of course, it I could have had, I could have had this. Yeah, you could have, but you're not because you're focused on this, that, and third, right? No, that's me. She didn't say that. That's me. Okay, but but no, she just said, what did she say? I'm kind of like you, I'm focused on my career and my daughter. My level of it. I could be her. Her love level is so wages to it.

Keshia: 37:59

Hell, because I'm just not at the moment. Are you dating? Are you dating someone? Not not official, like not uh a date or date people, go on dates.

KeKe: 38:11

So when you push off to consistently, are you seeing someone or not?

James: 38:16

No, she's planning to do that. No, no, no.

Keshia: 38:17

She's saying she's dating people. So to your back to what you were asking me and what he was saying, what do you outside of something to do? What do you get out of dating people? You're getting to know people. If someone, if you're dating someone and this becomes a consistent thing, you now I can meet a guy tomorrow. Hey, call my phone. You know, we may talk a couple days, you want to take me on a date. Within those couple days, you're getting to know someone to see if you want to continue to date to further get to know someone. If not, then no, it's just that simple. Now, if I'm talking to someone and it goes further than that, and we continue to spend time, develop feelings, emotions, and things, why not? Yeah, at some point I was at a stage where I said exactly what you said. I'm in school, um, I got a daughter, I'm focused, I'm this, I'm that. Yeah, that shit is boring. Hence why he's around. So, but you're not you don't plan on keeping him around. It's just like you don't have any intention, or I don't want to do that part. No, I don't. I see what you're saying, but yeah, no, I don't know.

James: 39:29

What she's saying is she doesn't want to eat she doesn't want to be as down bad as you are.

Keshia: 39:33

I don't think she's down bad. She knows exactly what she's doing, so you can't say down bad. Yeah, I definitely know what I'm saying. She knows exactly what she's doing. Down bad is if she was over here saying that's you know she ain't down bad.

James: 39:45

Alright, then do what you do.

Keshia: 39:47

Do I feel like it she is she's wasting something? Yes. What am I wasting on? I don't, I don't, I don't know. If somebody could tell me what exactly am I wasting, if you cut the dude off and I'm not talking to him, I'm not entertaining anybody else, I'm not putting myself in positions to beat anybody else, what am I losing? What am I wasting?

Michael: 40:08

To be honest, if if at the end of the day, if there's a smile on your face, if there's a smile on your face, my bad. If there's a smile on your face, it really don't matter how anybody, you know, takes to the feels. At the end of the day, your life is your storybook. You have to live it, you have to go through it, you have to cry through it, you have to go everything. So if you don't have any regrets behind any decision that you make, even when it is like, you know, you focusing on whatever you focus on, you dating or whatever the case may be. As long as whatever you do in your life that makes you smile and it's your story, it's fine.

Keshia: 40:54

That's true.

KeKe: 40:55

Do you do you have like a stopping point? Like, I know your goal right now is once you get your daughter settled and she's gone off to college and things like that, right?

Keshia: 41:07

So is that where So let me add context to that. Technically, that is mentally my stopping point. Okay. However, I've said it to him. I don't think he thinks I'm serious. I don't think he realized how much I'm going to change once she is off to college. And I'm I'ma always be a mother, but I'm no longer a mother and I can go to Dominican Republic at the time. Would they call it like a um what's the word? Um empty nesting. Empty nester. Yeah, like I'm an empty nester and I can I ain't gotta wait on nobody to travel and I can be. Hey, Keisha, where you at? I'm in the DR. I'll be back next week. Like what? I I don't think he realizes the seriousness of what I'm saying. So I will let you stay around if you choose to. Not to mention me and my attitude, I probably done you done got pissed off and probably done blocked him again by the time two years comes. See. But I'm trying to work through that. But yeah, that's my goal. When Kaya leaves, if you around, you around. If you know. And I think that's what I'm I think that's that's one of the things for me. I think coming from me dealing with past relationships and people and stuff like that, it's like, okay, at your stopping point. Even though you both of you guys are saying we know what we're doing, y'all are human. You see what I'm saying? And it's like at that stopping point, is it really gonna be that easy? For me, it will be. So you have to keep the main thing, the main thing. Now it would be different if during these two years I see you changing, I see you becoming the man I need you to be. Okay, what you're saying. But if I keep seeing you I'm here with you. Okay.

James: 42:55

Is this someone that you're telling what you need?

Keshia: 42:58

For what? Well, why would I tell you what I need? Like we've already explained. Okay. I'm this is where I am right now. I don't really want nothing because of what I got going on. You're saying the same thing. You don't really want nothing because of what you got going on. So why would you allow feelings, emotions? Females are emotional creatures, so you know we can't turn it off. You're gonna have your moments where you you're in your feelings and you're gonna feel a type of way about them. But that's how when you have your heads in the clouds, that's how you end up getting hurt. If you keep the main thing, the main thing, and if you keep it as if you don't see no change in him, never mind what he tells you. If you don't see him changing and you don't see him moving different behind you after y'all been talking for two, three years, you already know what it is. He's still in the same situation that he was in when y'all first started. See, but the conversation, the action is different, so it seems like there is some type of there, there's confusion there. Am I not, am I not, am I the only one that's confusing? Confusion, confusion in the whole situation as to you saying that he may say certain things, but he you're seeing different actions, so you don't know. No, I'm saying in the two years between now and time Kaya graduate, if right we both have said neither one of us are in a relationship right now. To your point of if you're talking every day for the next two, three years, something on both ends of the fence is gonna change. It's not gonna be the same. We'll be emotional, they're going to feel some type of way, they're gonna, you know, I mean, start caring or whatever, like he said earlier. But if you still doing BS stuff, lying and entertaining other females and not doing what I need you to do, why would I take you seriously? I mean, I understand that part. And we've been talking for two, three years. Like, why would I even thank you? Why would I even consider you serious? That's where the waste comes back for me. It's like you don't even take this person seriously, but you just you give it, it's just something to do.

Michael: 45:10

So, so every day is not promised. It's so from what it sounds like is I don't want to be spending my days being at the house while I'm trying to be focused and being bored and being by myself. I it's like this is my my buddy right now.

KeKe: 45:28

Yeah, perfect way to put it.

Michael: 45:31

We don't see each other no nothing in no way, but this is my buddy. And just so happened, we we, you know, dibble and dabble on the other end, but I meant you can't be too mad at it. I mean, to be honest, we can't sit here and act like this is a new concept.

Keshia: 45:52

There's so many people that's doing that now. No, I'm not crazy. I'm not, I'm totally aware of it. I mean, I I believe I've been in the same situation before, you know, so I know I'm understanding that. Well, I maybe that's why I'm saying, like, why do you want to keep wasting? Because I maybe that's how I felt in my situation when I did go. Waste, like it's a waste. If I felt like that he was hindering me from talking to other people, or if I had maybe somebody else that really wanted to be with me and was pursuing me for real, and I'm saying, well, no, because I don't want to let him go, then that's when you're wasting time. But if you ain't got nobody else and you're not trying to entertain nobody else, what are you wasting?

Michael: 46:36

Quick, quick question. Let me let me let me get off the exit of the expressway real quick, and let me ask this slowdown question real quick. But I I I would like so I got you know three ladies here, right? What is, you know, what is a proper way that a man is supposed to pursue a woman? Because, you know, if the niggas too romantic, the niggas too soft. If he comes too aggressive. Who says that though?

Speaker 00: 47:08

Yeah, who said that?

Michael: 47:09

Man, plenty of people, man. Y'all know y'all don't fuck with the mother. Man, man, we not even gonna have to. What's that conversation? Yeah, who like Yeah no y'all don't fuck with the squares. Y'all know y'all don't fuck with square. What is a square? All right, I don't sorry, I don't want to call y'all squares. But what I'm saying is, like, the guys that's not the exciting guy, the guy that's not, you know, selling dope. Let me ask you the guys that's not I'm gonna be able to do that.

Keshia: 47:33

But who said they're not exciting and and who said, how you put a whole general blanket statement on just baby dealers and people who who trying to make rap music? First and foremost, I'm 40 years old. If you're still in the studio, we got a problem. You know what I'm saying. That's first and foremost.

Michael: 47:50

Yeah, most most all right. So you know what, and and and let's say this too. Yes, you're right. As time goes, as time goes and people get older, yeah, you start to change, you know, how you feel about certain things. And even then, it's not a guarantee.

Speaker 06: 48:08

What you mean?

Michael: 48:09

Is is is so like you this guy might not be exciting, but he has a very good job and he's willing to spoil the shit out of you.

Keshia: 48:23

But spoiling you may not be important to a female. I'm stuck on the part where who said he's not exciting? Him. Right. Who who said that?

Michael: 48:31

What I'm saying is you you hear this all the time. Y'all act like y'all don't hear this. But you gotta am I am I confused? Because we we hear this talk.

Keshia: 48:41

That's social media talk. No, that's not real life talk.

Michael: 48:45

Social media talk is real talk.

James: 48:47

That is not that is social media talk, and then it turns into women talk.

unknown: 48:53

Thank you.

Keshia: 48:53

You cannot make a blanket statement like that. Not all women, no, not all women feel like that. Because why is this guy not exciting? Why is he not being doing? Why is he not?

Speaker 00: 49:03

Stop it.

Keshia: 49:04

No, stop it. You not make a say, I need a nigga to do for me, I need a nigga to spoil me, I need a guy.

Michael: 49:17

No one said that.

Keshia: 49:19

He just said that.

Michael: 49:20

I you're not going for the good guy. You're not going for the I wanna come home and just sit in front of the TV reading my news. Yeah, why I am now?

Keshia: 49:31

Yeah. Now when have you ever known me to want a hood rat? Well now I retract. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I retract my okay, right. I retract it. She's laughing. However, comma. You can be a retired hood rat. You don't need to still be no hood rat.

Michael: 49:52

You could be a reform hood rat.

Keshia: 49:54

Yeah, you can be a reform hood rat.

Michael: 49:57

What did you do back in the day?

KeKe: 49:59

Right.

Michael: 50:00

Kidnapping. That's it. It was just a misunderstanding. Okay. You retired? Oh my God.

Keshia: 50:08

He's reformed. You take an extreme. You going extreme, but I'm just saying though.

Michael: 50:15

It's like I see a lot of, I see a lot of the good guys out here struggling. Struggling trying to find somebody good and try to find somebody that could, you know, be his helpmate and all this other good stuff. But if you say you know a lot. Those are the guys that be happening to be in the strip club, those are the guys that got. No.

Keshia: 50:40

Why you gotta do all that? No, I don't you lack confidence.

unknown: 50:44

Why ain't I come up with the good?

Keshia: 50:47

That's what I'm trying to ask. Like, if you know a lot of guys that's like that, and you know a lot of good females.

Michael: 50:53

I'm just trying to play matchmaker.

Keshia: 50:55

And then on top of that, you keep saying math ain't mathing. Math ain't mathing.

Michael: 51:00

The math ain't mathing.

unknown: 51:02

Nah.

Keshia: 51:02

Man, we sit all right. Math ain't mathing.

Michael: 51:04

Man, it's not. So y'all telling me, so all right. Seven, come back, please.

James: 51:12

God damn it.

Speaker 07: 51:16

She agreeing with them.

Keshia: 51:19

Because you making a blanket statement that that's not the case at all.

Seven: 51:24

No, like and I was I was listening because I'm like, what women, like, like that.

Michael: 51:31

See, there we go.

Keshia: 51:36

Like, like women. Facebook females, them Instagram models, yeah, them the females that's going for dudes like that, but everyday career women ain't going for nothing like that. Yeah, like good women.

Seven: 51:51

Your first question asked you like, how do women like guys to pursue them? That depends on the women. Like, we all like different things. So I feel like that's a conversation. Like, you ain't gotta be in the studio selling drugs like that for practice.

Keshia: 52:08

It's not all. Especially not for a lifetime.

Seven: 52:13

We don't want no shit like that. Like, if you if you want to know what a woman likes as far as how to pursue her, that's a question for that woman. Every woman is different. So, for one, it might be, well, show me that I'm a priority in your life. Or, you know, I don't know. It could be a number of things. So I feel like it's like.

Michael: 52:33

It's just the nigga just gotta be confused. He's gotta be confused.

Speaker 07: 52:37

Why is he confused?

Michael: 52:38

He'll because so so you want him to say, so, so how should I pursue you?

Keshia: 52:47

I mean, you sound I mean, you can ask that. I mean, right, it sounds like you know, it sounds weird, don't it?

Michael: 52:53

It sounds weird, don't it?

Keshia: 52:54

No, no, it doesn't sound weird.

unknown: 52:55

I don't think it does.

Keshia: 52:56

I think it sounds smart. What? I mean, because if what change the word? You don't say, right, you don't go up to somebody like, how do I pursue it? Which is you and Romeo Juliette.

Michael: 53:05

What game should I what what game should I put on her?

Keshia: 53:07

What what kind of no you just be yourself? No.

Michael: 53:10

What kind of sugar should I put on this shit?

Seven: 53:12

I think I think it's a little more simple than that. Like you're just having a conversation and you're learning her. Like learning you. It's like, what do you like? You know, what do you like to do?

Keshia: 53:23

What's the point of dating?

Seven: 53:28

But I think that goes both ways. Like, I think, you know, when you're getting to know somebody, you want to do the things that they like to do, or or you know, if you find out, well, he likes this, I want to do more of that because I like him, you know, like I wanna learn about his world, whatever. Like, that's something both sides do. But if he's trying to like pursue the woman and you know he wants to be with her, then he's gonna find out. Like, you know, like and it's not as simple as like what should I do to pursue you, but it's more of like you observe, right?

Speaker 07: 54:00

Yeah, time spent.

James: 54:02

She just mocked your ass.

Michael: 54:06

Pursue you, yeah.

Keshia: 54:08

Nobody asked that.

Michael: 54:09

Like, what? Right, nobody asked that, but but look, like Dayton is fucked up out here because it's it's not like everybody seems everybody could speak on it and have the formula, but shit, the formula ain't working.

Keshia: 54:24

Ain't nobody got the damn thing. It's because nobody's moving genuinely, everybody has ulterior motives. It's always about yeah, like nobody's moving genuinely, and I feel like especially in Atlanta.

James: 54:35

I feel like I feel like social media accentuates that where everyone feels like they have to be something.

KeKe: 54:39

And I feel like people aren't relationships aren't going well because people hold on to past traumas.

Keshia: 54:45

Agreed, totally agree.

Michael: 54:47

And and these phones have so many secret departments that everybody thinks they can get away with so much stuff, and so you know, people be damn near about to kill each other over over a damn phone.

Keshia: 55:00

So I have a question. I was gonna ask my my god sister because they're going through something. But, anyways, you know how back in the day when our grandparents and great-grandparents was was going through their relationships, right? The culture was the man beats on the woman. That was the culture back then. In our generation, you don't have as much domestic violence. Now the culture is not saying that it's obsolete, you don't have it as much. Now the culture is cheating. Everybody cheats. To your point. The cell phones, the social media, like nobody is 100%. I am with this female, I am with this male, I am not looking at somebody else, liking this picture, jumping this this this DM, hollering at this person, kikiing at this cheating is the culture now. Why? You're not secure in your relationship.

James: 56:06

That plus they're getting attention. That's just the person.

Keshia: 56:10

Like, why is nobody?

James: 56:13

Like, why? It's attention.

Keshia: 56:15

That's crazy. It's crazy.

Michael: 56:17

If you feel secure, if you feel secure in your relationship, I don't think you well, I mean, what reason would you have to you could feel secure, but your partner might, yeah, because you'll feel like because there's there you can see people that they have the greatest relationship, but the itch of the attention, that that work buddy that goes a little bit too far, that that that that that uh bar that you go to on Tuesday. That's another that's another thing I want to talk about.

Keshia: 56:53

Do you think that that's the individual thing, like that self-control though?

James: 56:57

What I was gonna say was the work husband thing. You heard have you heard of it?

Keshia: 57:03

But it goes back to self-control. Why are you kicking in somebody's face at work knowing you got somebody at home?

Michael: 57:11

But yeah, it is self-control. But a lot of people but a lot of people like you gotta really like I think a lot of cheating and mess with and go on.

Keshia: 57:21

You just gotta really it's self-control because you really just gotta ask yourself, like, damn, I really should I should I do like take the it's the time, it's just the time. Nobody takes the time to say, damn, this ain't right.

unknown: 57:36

No.

Keshia: 57:37

It's just like you you don't have self-control. You nobody take the time. And nobody takes accountability.

KeKe: 57:42

You know damn well, and and I understand what they was to say in the heat of the moment, temptation, and I get it, but it's just self-control.

James: 57:51

Yeah, a choice is a choice. Right.

Keshia: 57:52

Once you make a choice, we're not gonna call it a mistake. You knew what the hell you was doing. It was a poor choice.

KeKe: 57:57

And everybody, we human, so what we have weak moments, but still, like, is that weak moment, is it worth the is it worth the shit, the shit coming behind it? Right.

Michael: 58:08

A lot of times if you feel like you ain't gonna get see, that's what the and this is something that because it's just like stealing, right? Somebody that ain't never stole before and they still and to get away with it, you know. You feel so good. Right. And it makes you it makes you be like, you know what? Well, you know, man, I know I shouldn't do it, but I start to be in caught. So keep doing it. Right. And now it's not even because you're lacking nothing in the house, it's just because it's convenience and you can get away with it.

Keshia: 58:45

But that goes back to how self-control. It's self-control. Like, at what point do you say this is enough? I am satisfied with what I got at home.

unknown: 58:56

Right.

Keshia: 58:57

And you are if you are if you are completely satisfied. I always say to people, if I have everything I need in the house, why go outside? Exactly. Right?

James: 59:07

But you still go outside.

Seven: 59:10

I'm not gonna say all, but a lot of dudes, especially in Atlanta, they are not one woman.

Keshia: 59:17

There's too many females here.

Speaker 07: 59:19

There's too many females here.

Michael: 59:21

And even though that the the women count is so damn high, every woman got like five niggas that's sharing the other nigga with other man. I don't know. Y'all always, I it's crazy that they always try to make it like it's the men thing. That's talking to five different men and women do it. Men and do both of them do it. Let's not let's not sit here. Let's do it.

Keshia: 59:49

We're not gonna negate the fact that men do it more than females.

Michael: 59:54

But no, no, no, but there's there's no there's no statistics that can prove that. So are They single because from the beginning of time, women can be you always say we're we're very good cheaters. We're very good cheaters. Love to brag about it.

KeKe: 1:00:10

So they're not single.

Keshia: 1:00:11

Who? When you said that y'all both said like people be talking to like five different people. Are the personal? No, yeah. We're not talking about single people. We're talking about people that say relationship. Because single people, you free to talk to whoever the hell you want to talk to. Talk to 20 different people you want to. But when you're in a relationship.

Michael: 1:00:28

But but but going all the way back to what y'all were just talking about, because I know what your your conversation about, but if you're single, you can talk to whoever you want to. But that's why the focus never ends up being on one person. If you're in a relationship, there's no reason why you should be conversating with five people.

Keshia: 1:00:43

Exactly. If you're in a relationship, there's no reason why you would be conversating. Why are you going outside? If somebody is conversating, if they're in a relationship and conversating with five people, they are goddamn bionic. Because how in the hell do you even have to do that? How do you keep up with all them conversations?

Michael: 1:01:01

It's not that hard if you're a loser.

unknown: 1:01:03

Okay.

Keshia: 1:01:04

What?

Michael: 1:01:04

Yeah. If you if if you if you if you ain't doing shit at work and you're always texting at work, you're always on the phone at work. When you're at home, you're always on the phone. Do y'all think that?

KeKe: 1:01:19

So I always say that it's easier. Do y'all not think that it's easier to be faithful than to cheat? If you're cheating and having all these people, you have to entertain all these people.

James: 1:01:32

If you if you're trying it's easier to be faithful if you care about the person, if you love the person.

Keshia: 1:01:39

How James, well, you got to make sure she can't call it this time of the day.

James: 1:01:48

Wait, wait, wait. What'd you say? I didn't say anything. Yes, you did. I laughed. You said something. No, you said something and you laughed. No, I just laughed.

KeKe: 1:01:56

But yeah, how to her point. You have to put in more work. Like you have to put in more work to entertain Volta.

James: 1:02:06

You have to put in work to put in more work to cheat.

Keshia: 1:02:11

That's just like, alright. That's just my own. Are you guys gonna keep squawking or are you gonna let me talk? Is it easier to keep up with five people's payroll or more?

James: 1:02:22

Ma'am, that's not answer your question. So it's it's worth to keep a relationship going is work.

Keshia: 1:02:33

It is, absolutely. So but is that work yet?

James: 1:02:36

Yes, of course.

Keshia: 1:02:37

Then keeping up with five other people.

James: 1:02:38

But that is no easier or harder. You could be I'll be honest with you, haven't had that situation. I haven't had five different women that I've been juggling.

KeKe: 1:02:47

Can you imagine? Even two. Let's just say you talk to a woman right now. Imagine five of her coming behind her.

James: 1:02:54

Nightmare.

KeKe: 1:02:56

Okay. Or even two.

James: 1:02:58

Every single one of them nightmare.

Keshia: 1:03:00

What about two? You got one at home and one in the streets. Now that's a little bit easier, but point is you still have to juggle them around each other. To her point, it is easier.

Michael: 1:03:09

But people do it all. People do it all day, every day. You got you got serial Peter. It's not impossible.

Keshia: 1:03:16

Yeah, we didn't say it's impossible.

Michael: 1:03:17

It's just there are cereal cheaters.

James: 1:03:21

It's some people who are built for it.

Michael: 1:03:22

That's it. There's some people who can do it.

James: 1:03:24

Do you that's caving?

Seven: 1:03:25

Somebody, so it's easy for them. That's caving. They got somebody in the back pocket all the time.

Michael: 1:03:31

That's just like when I go to the gym, right? Shout out to the to uh I forgot what we call him. Shout out, not Johnny. Oh, we call him the predator. Oh, yeah, and Johnny. But uh, yeah, we call him the predator. But literally, he goes every day after a different woman in the gym. He'll go and walk, walk her all the way to the car, wave at her trying to get her attention and everything. That's a creep. But there are plenty of people out there that just want bodies. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? And I'm and I and but but this is what I this is exactly another thing that I'm I'm putting out there though, is men, some men think that they want bodies just as much as some women think that they want bodies. And it might not be bodies for a sexual reason, it might be might be bodies for it might be a financial reason. It might be for uh time, you know, just to have something to do when you if this person's not available, that person's available. If that person's not available and that person's not available, you got that person.

Keshia: 1:04:40

So when Kay graduate, I might turn into that person. But see, I might turn into that person. Ain't even going out with you. Okay, I'm sorry, Katie.

Michael: 1:04:49

But it's it's it's it's very easy to do that type of stuff in a place like this with uh social media. You could date on social media, you could date on apps, you could date by going to all these bars and app dating?

Keshia: 1:05:06

It ain't for me. I done tried to do it. I've never tried, you know. I have friends that be like, get on a dating app, get on dating app. I'm terrified of a dating. I don't never get past, hey, how you doing? What you doing? I haven't even made a profile. I've done it, I've done it before.

Michael: 1:05:20

I can't I can't deny that I haven't done it before.

Keshia: 1:05:23

It's a little scary because it sucks, too.

James: 1:05:26

Online dating sucks so bad.

Keshia: 1:05:29

Why?

James: 1:05:29

Because it it's not organic.

Keshia: 1:05:34

Agreed. Like if like I would prefer to meet somebody organically than online.

James: 1:05:40

Let's say let's say you and I were to match.

Keshia: 1:05:42

Right?

James: 1:05:43

Um, of course you would swipe on me first. Yeah. We'd match, and it'd be exactly what you said. What the fuck is that? Like we've done a podcast before, and I don't remember it. But we're doing it now, and like this is how I talk. Right. This is but I can't I can't put this in text form. I'm sporadic, I say whatever the fuck I want, but but it doesn't come off the same when I put it in text. So you would not get, you know. The real true James.

Keshia: 1:06:28

So you can't you can't fall in.

James: 1:06:29

You wouldn't be as turned on as you would by my pictures, as you would by my text.

Michael: 1:06:33

So you can't fall in love to text. But but just that not. It can work. People can do it. People can do it. There's a lot, but especially I'm not one of them. I'm not one of them. Especially like the new age people where like all their communication is through fucking text. All their communication.

Keshia: 1:06:49

It used to be. I used to be the text.

Michael: 1:06:50

I I I don't want to, I don't want to text. Call me. I try my I try my damnedest to I had just seen your text about. You are the worst text. Yeah, everybody tells me that. Everybody tells me that because he's a good thing.

KeKe: 1:07:12

You still ain't responding to my text.

Michael: 1:07:14

Bro, everybody, everybody complains about that. Look, what you want to complain too? Everybody wants like my mama complains. Everybody, okay, everybody, like even grandma Mary, everybody complained. Grandma Mary try to text me. Now, her because I know she went all the way out of her way to try to text me. Like, if I don't text her back, I will at least call say, Hey grandma, I send you tests. And I don't, I don't want to, I don't want to go back and forth. Yeah, so let's go ahead and talk. What you need? I'm not good at tests. So if I was supposed to entertain the female through text, so I'm a loser.

Keshia: 1:07:54

So what if you meet a female, how I used to be, where I would prefer and the only reason why I was like this is because I got paid to talk on the phone for eight hours a day. So therefore I don't want to come home and talk for another eight hours a day. So I was a texter. What if you meet a female like that where for whatever reason she is a texter and wants to work her way into phone calls, wants to work her way into FaceTiming?

James: 1:08:16

Well, then I'm doing talk to text. I go, baby.

Keshia: 1:08:21

That is different.

James: 1:08:22

Guess what, baby?

Keshia: 1:08:24

That's different. I'm a fail. That's different. I'm a fail.

Michael: 1:08:28

Because I don't even want to do that. I'm a fail. At least James is trying. I'm glad. Like, like, so so something my grandfather, something my grandfather told me a long time ago, right? And they used to bother me, but now that I'm a grown man and I do a lot of shit, I understand it. And he was like, he used to always say, he said, you know, either you can have me at home and you don't have what you want and need, or you let me go out here and sacrifice myself to make sure that y'all okay. And so a lot of times when I be out here in the field, man, I gotta make all these decisions and make all these moves. And I and it like I tell people a lot of times, like if somebody called me, just believe that somebody calling me right behind me. It's you want me to stop doing what I'm doing every five seconds to entertain the conversation or entertain the taste. You didn't text me back, it's been two hours. Like, nigga, I was I was working for two straight hours.

Keshia: 1:09:28

One of my biggest, like, oh my god, the the people who say, Um, you supposed to call me back and y'all ain't talked in two days because they waiting on you to call them back from Tuesday. Fucking with me, I won't, we won't talk. We won't talk because and I feel like true enough, you can't tell somebody how to feel or how to think, but I think it's stupid that you done been waiting all this time for me to call you back, but you want to talk to me. Why you just don't call me? Why does it matter who maybe that person first or next second part of that?

James: 1:10:03

Well, hold on. Some shit that like. Did you say that you were gonna call them back?

Keshia: 1:10:07

I might have we might have been on the phone. Hey, babe, let me call you right back. That's not what I asked. But people say that now. I'm saying, let me call you right back to the board in the store.

James: 1:10:14

Did you say that you were gonna call the stuff? But it was just a saying, not like I was really gonna call you back. More literal than you say that you're gonna call someone back.

KeKe: 1:10:22

Hey, babe, I'm gonna talk to you later, okay?

James: 1:10:24

I'm not gonna bother someone if they tell me they're gonna call me back.

Keshia: 1:10:28

But it are you so so your significant other says, All right, babe, I'm gonna call you back in a little bit. It's been a little bit. Well, it's been a little bit more. Or just someone that you talk to. This is the person that you're trying to entertain, you're dating. I'm gonna call you back in a little bit. So what if a little bit, what if a little bit has gone by?

Michael: 1:10:50

It all depends, man. Because like, let's say if if this is normal.

Keshia: 1:10:55

What's normal? What you mean?

Michael: 1:10:56

Like, if we we're always doing the back and forth, like, all right, I'll call you back and and we don't ever call back. Or I it just don't, you don't call back, or I'll call you the next day, or I just know that it's faded. But sometimes, some, but sometimes, sometimes I can get that because a person will wait and see if you really gonna call them back to see like if I if am I really a problem?

KeKe: 1:11:22

Why do people do that? Don't do that.

Michael: 1:11:24

Why do people do that sometimes? Don't do that.

Keshia: 1:11:26

Why do people do that? Don't do that. But but sometimes I was waiting to see if you was gonna call me back. What the hell for? Well, I say this.

Michael: 1:11:35

Alright, so he that person supposed, like, let's say if you you do that shit all the time and that person's off. After a while, you don't feel like that person is is basically like like desperately reaching out, like especially.

Keshia: 1:11:48

Do you know some people can have a trauma response? I know someone that because they were a side chick for two years, did not know it, and was groomed to be the side chick, realized that okay, they didn't proactively call the person, they just let the person and like it just happened. They just let the person call them when they called, it was always at the wrong time. But you didn't know that. You just thought, oh, that person was busy. So now, as a trauma response, no, I'll let you call me and I'll return your call or I'll return your text message, but I won't proactively call you because I still have PTSD from something from my past. Don't be bringing that past shit over here.

Michael: 1:12:32

Do you really? Is it really is it really past or focused on on the present? Because it is is all right it's focused on fear of what could happen. But it's not like it may not even be there. It may just be like that. But what if that's really what it's just like it's just like like if you get if if you get fucking shocked by sticking a fork in the electrical socket, like you know that there's certain things that you do that's gonna cause a reaction to what you do.

James: 1:13:04

But if you stick a fork into the socket, you're gonna get shocked and you go, Oh boy, I better not do that again. And you won't be able to do that. So that's but that's trauma response. Okay. So I see what I see what she's saying in that sense.

Keshia: 1:13:18

Some people go through trauma responses like that, where you've groomed me to, okay, I know I can't call it this time. And it may be something innocent. I for real was busy. So I for real was sleep, right? If a person has no time for you, how long do you hold you going into something totally different?

Michael: 1:13:33

No, no, no. What I'm saying is what I'm saying is if a person, if a person is always saying, I'll call you back, I'll call you back, and they never call you back, after a while, that means that they ain't got no time for you.

KeKe: 1:13:45

Okay, I know somebody like that right there. I know somebody like that right now, and then she always be like, I'm gonna call you right back, and I know damn well she's not gonna call me right back.

Michael: 1:13:54

That's just how she's gonna be. What I'm saying is what she says if it it never if it's never that. Now, of course, once or twice, or if it's just both of y'all doing it, but if the person is literally why you're but that's with intent.

Keshia: 1:14:07

I'm saying I'm gonna call you back just to get you off the phone and then don't call you back and then ignore you for some days, that's different. Versus her example, that's just I got a friend right now, and yeah, those are two different things. You get on the phone with her, and the minute the conversation dead or whatever, I'm gonna call you right back, okay? No, she's not gonna call. I already know she's not right.

James: 1:14:28

Well, let me stop you right there. You said the minute the conversation's dead. Well, yeah, I don't want to hang up too.

KeKe: 1:14:35

Some people just say it just to say it. Well, let me just leave that out because if it's just something she just says, it doesn't matter what is happening. If she wants to get off the phone, that is what she's saying.

Keshia: 1:14:46

I'm gonna call you back. Yeah, some people just have to be saying it. We everyone knows her and knows when she's she ain't gonna call back. So it really you you that's something that you can't control.

James: 1:14:59

But then if it's the person, but then when you're dating someone that does not know, I think I'm kinda that does not know you, and you do. But I kind of like the yeah, I like the yeah, yeah, yeah.

KeKe: 1:15:11

And they do not know you.

James: 1:15:13

Yeah, I think I like it.

Keshia: 1:15:14

So so let's just say, okay, they couldn't come up to it. Girl is like this.

KeKe: 1:15:18

But if you don't know that, yeah. But you just start dating her, right? You don't know that she's like that. So you're taking it as, oh, she don't really got time for me, or she don't like me, or she don't think she's like, and that may not really be.

Keshia: 1:15:32

Now, what I have experienced in my current situation, because again, I was one of those. I ain't calling you, you call me. He's a type, okay, I'll call you back. And he calls back. If the shoe is on the other foot, if I say I'm going to call back, he's gonna expect me to call him back. He will send a text and say, Hey, I thought you said you was calling me back. I thought you said you was gonna text me back. I got he's one of them. Not everybody's like I like that about him, but not everybody's like that. So that's when you say that because I don't like that. You don't? No, yeah, I like that. Like, okay, let me say this. Just a little bit. If you text and say, Hey, I thought you was gonna call me back, that's cool. But then you got those people that say three days later, well, you know, on Tuesday you said on Tuesday you said you was gonna call me back. Here it is, Thursday, goddammit. I don't want to hear that from the case.

KeKe: 1:16:26

See him.

Keshia: 1:16:28

Right. I don't want to hear that joke out of it and be like, do what you said you was gonna do. Like hit his premise for it is do what you said you was gonna do. I understand. Call me back. Okay, hang up. I'm gonna hang up on you. Call me back, right back, because you said you were gonna call me back. So he make a joke out of it, but I get it. But don't be sitting over there on Tuesday all the way till Thursday and Friday because I said I was gonna call you back on Tuesday. You wait no more. That's just dumb.

KeKe: 1:16:54

Because now we ain't talking three days, regardless. I now could be busy. No, or I could be dead in the dick, or I just don't want to talk to you. Why do you need to call me?

James: 1:17:05

I fumbled bad. I fumbled bad. Uh I had me a good one, and I waited a week.

Keshia: 1:17:14

A week, Jay? A week? That's a third one, bro. You no call, no show. Your ass fired. A week.

James: 1:17:20

You can't do no ass is fire, man. They took me right out of the state.

Keshia: 1:17:25

Like you, you on purpose did a week, or you just life happened and you forgot.

James: 1:17:28

Life happened. No, I didn't forget. I was just, I just, I was like, I I don't want to talk to this person.

Keshia: 1:17:33

Okay, now that is true. Now I'm I am that person. I I will go two, three days not be like talking to nobody. Yeah. I'm moody. I've been like that. I am definitely moody like that. So this I got this new culture of I got to talk to you every day. The fuck for what? What are we talking every day for? So for me, I don't have the.

James: 1:17:52

Because I'm not a person. Some type of people.

KeKe: 1:17:55

It needs to be some type of communication.

James: 1:17:58

Some type of now I'll throw it right to her.

Keshia: 1:18:01

The people that piss me off is do not come at me saying I ain't heard from you all day. If we've been fucking sending reels on Instagram since two o'clock, that's interaction. It's interaction. It's interaction. So don't say, damn, I ain't heard from yes, you did. Because I sent you that little boy on Instagram and you laughed at me. That's interaction.

Michael: 1:18:21

Agreed. I sent you an uh emoji.

Keshia: 1:18:26

That's interaction. That's an interaction, my boy. You can't say you ain't heard from me. It was some kind of interaction. If you the type that need to have interaction every day. You react. That's interaction. So you the type, Mike, that you gotta talk to your partner every day? A person you're entertaining every day? Your partner, you better then call my phone every day.

James: 1:18:49

Nah. Mike loves talking. You gotta talk every day.

Speaker 07: 1:18:52

I don't know. Well, he's talking live. Let me tell you something. You don't have to talk around.

Speaker 09: 1:18:58

When we say talk every day, I'm not saying that we have to sit on the phone around. Yeah, yeah, we're having fun.

KeKe: 1:19:04

But what I'm saying is include me in your everyday. Whether we good morning, we exchanging a good morning. I don't like good morning text, girl.

Keshia: 1:19:12

You don't like good morning text. I love a good morning text, girl. Why? Okay, so let me ask you this. How do you know that you're not just in rotation? Are you not doing something out of having that ain't on my mind? Yeah, don't give me no. If I'm in rotation, listen.

Michael: 1:19:26

Now, if I especially they can hear what you have to say, they gotta copy and paste.

Speaker 07: 1:19:30

Yeah, like no. Take me out of rotation. Why do y'all know what I mean?

Michael: 1:19:33

Good morning, Queen. Good morning, handsome girl. If somebody sent me a good morning text, if somebody don't do that.

KeKe: 1:19:41

If somebody sent me a good morning text, that is not my first line of thought.

Keshia: 1:19:45

Oh, I guess he copied and pasted me too.

James: 1:19:47

No one's saying it's your first line of thought, but it's out there.

Keshia: 1:19:52

It happens. It's out there.

James: 1:19:53

It's not you. No one's saying it's you. But it happens. So why don't you think like that?

Keshia: 1:20:01

I just don't think like that.

Speaker 09: 1:20:02

Why don't you think that?

Keshia: 1:20:04

I don't think like that. Especially if you just said that you talked to multiple people like you did multiple people. No, I don't. Why don't you think that's a good one? If I get a good money text in my mind, I don't think. I'm an overthinker. I didn't think that he texts 10 different bitches before it got to my phone. That is not what I thought in my mind.

KeKe: 1:20:24

Maybe I'm, I don't know.

Keshia: 1:20:26

That's good that you're not like that. That is very good that you're not like that.

KeKe: 1:20:29

I'm not like, oh, did you text Rhonda, nigga? I ain't gonna break it up, but in my head I'm thinking.

Michael: 1:20:35

I thought I'm gonna be googling. I know your routine right at eight o'clock and you see that same text.

Keshia: 1:20:45

No. I know your routine right now. That's no. I don't sleep like that. And I don't like him to ask me how'd you sleep.

Michael: 1:20:53

Grand Rise.

Keshia: 1:20:54

You need to ask me how I slept. Because if I slept wrong, you need to know to come correct today, motherfucker. That's what he said. He was like, the reason how did I sleep because it lets me know what kind of day you're gonna have. No, the fucking thing. Yes, it does. Yes, it does. Because guess what?

KeKe: 1:21:08

If I ain't sleep, uh I ain't sleep too good, my neck hurt, okay. What can I do?

Keshia: 1:21:14

I don't know. I like stuff like that. I don't know. Don't ask. Because everybody, when you meet somebody new, those are the first two questions. Good morning, beautiful. Good morning, good morning. That's in rotation. So you get that. Because the minute that one morning that you don't send it, I'ma think, oh, you dead in a ditch somewhere. By the hell you ain't send my good morning taste as much. That's the blah blah blah.

James: 1:21:34

The good morning text and that's the blah blah blah.

Michael: 1:21:37

Just to say, hey, I just want to let you know I'm on your mind. You're on my mind. Still here, yeah.

Keshia: 1:21:42

Are you thinking of the nine other people you talking about?

Michael: 1:21:44

I'm just saying you're on my mind.

KeKe: 1:21:45

See, I don't think like that. Because you like the minute you don't text me good morning, I guess you texting somebody else good morning. I ain't think like that. Like, damn, maybe you just had a busy ass morning.

Michael: 1:21:54

Or he just didn't get time in his day to, you know, start his rotation.

Keshia: 1:21:58

I don't like that. I don't like that. Nope. Uh-uh.

Michael: 1:22:02

Nah, I don't, I'm, I'm just being devil's advocate right now. I'm not saying either or, but I but but to her point, it is out there.

Keshia: 1:22:11

Ah it's in rotation. I want you to say good morning to me because it's genuine.

Michael: 1:22:15

You genuinely don't say good morning to me.

KeKe: 1:22:17

So how do you so how do you know if it's genuine or not through a text message?

Keshia: 1:22:20

So you just gonna automatically assume that it's not be different. Be different. Do a FaceTime or do a phone call or one of our cousins. Just be different.

Michael: 1:22:27

One of our c one of our cousins, board cousins? Yeah, one of our cousins is literally has a section for like when he's like talking to females on um messenger. Uh not on messenger, but like like dating, any dating, like Facebook dating and whatever. Copy and pasting. He literally has notes. Hell yeah. Like on conversations? Yeah. So like it's like the opener, you know, when they said, when they say, when they say like, what do you do? He has that. Fuck me. Like lit like yeah, literally. And like lit no. So yeah, yeah, there we go. Yeah, there we go. He got a script.

KeKe: 1:23:10

He got a script.

Michael: 1:23:11

But for every for everything, so he don't have to write nothing. He was like, man, I sent so much stuff, man. I'm I don't want to send that. I said, Yeah, that's a smart idea, but bro, like, like, do you get caught up in, you know, like how you keep up with these conversations? That goes back to how you can do that.

KeKe: 1:23:26

How do you keep up with these conversations? And at what point do you give your, I guess, authentic self? Because why? That's my issue.

Keshia: 1:23:35

It's just like it's a program. Like, oh, that is my issue.

KeKe: 1:23:38

What do I do? Let me copy and paste. What do I copy? Do you ever give some? Do you really ever sit and write it out?

Keshia: 1:23:45

Like, I'm I'm afraid for his wedding vows. Like, seriously, in Atlanta, you just copy a person.

KeKe: 1:23:52

That's what he's gonna do.

Michael: 1:23:53

Chat GPT to do your wedding vows.

Seven: 1:23:56

That's easy. But you know what? That sounds like a serial data, like somebody that can't really be by herself. You know what I'm saying? They always gotta have somebody, or it's like, I don't know, that's how I think anyway. Like, if I met a dude and I found out that he was doing that, like that's such a red flag to me.

Speaker 07: 1:24:16

Like, a big red flag.

Seven: 1:24:19

Yeah, like, bruh, like what are you doing? Like, can you and and then it's like you're such a serial dater that I I would kind of feel like you couldn't just be with one woman. Like, I wouldn't be with one woman and what are you looking for as a serial dater?

KeKe: 1:24:34

Yeah, what is that? Or a serial dater doesn't give me the impression that they're wanting to settle down and be with one another.

James: 1:24:40

As a serial dater, you're looking for pussy. That's all that is, or penis.

Michael: 1:24:46

Yeah, because there's women's serial daters too.

Keshia: 1:24:49

Sounds like you're looking for something because you're not looking for a relationship as a serial dater. No, you're just looking for something to do for that moment.

Seven: 1:24:57

Yeah, like you're you're just dating like like all these people, like Monday you got this person, Tuesday you got that person, like every day you got a different person that you're going out with. Um, or you know, you got that lineup, you got that roster, but you keep a roster, like you don't never not have a roster.

Michael: 1:25:15

That's crazy, but it's very easy in these cities. In this city, it is very easy.

Seven: 1:25:21

Yeah, Atlanta is a is a wild place.

Michael: 1:25:24

A wild place. Been um been in you were in Mableton one month, three months later, you in Lawrenceville. Nigga, that chick is not gonna meet Mableton, you know.

Keshia: 1:25:37

Yeah, like you for real, Atlanta is so big but so small at the same time. You legit can have a family in Atlanta and the metro areas.

Michael: 1:25:46

It's it's crazy that it the Atlanta's it Atlanta's small but big. You know what I'm saying? With with all the stuff that is going on and all the people that are here. But it's crazy that you always bump into old motherfuckers. I hate always bumping into like anybody that I used to talk to, used to have an interest in.

KeKe: 1:26:11

Oh my god! Like you see that folks go around, don't tell nobody you dated me. We did not date, that did not happen. Right.

Michael: 1:26:19

Like, let's just forget that. Man, I so so I I don't know if y'all ever had this right. So I know when I was dating as a youth and and and seeing like certain people as a youth, and I was like, damn, man, I know they're gonna be bad when they get older. Oh man, da da da da. And so I'm in my 40s, and I see some of the ones that I went to school with. And I'm like, ooh, Dodge the bullet there.

Keshia: 1:26:48

I see a lot of people I went to school with, they look crazy. You know what I always say? People look crazy because their parents don't take care of them no more. That is that is true. That is true. You out here on your own.

Michael: 1:27:02

Yeah.

Keshia: 1:27:03

You're on your own. So that's what that is. You on your own, and that's what that is.

Michael: 1:27:07

And and and when, you know, the ones that that that that had that natural, natural body structure. If you don't keep that thing up as you get older, no matter how you think you look, it ain't gonna last forever. And boy, I learned that, I learned that the hard way for myself, but I wake up six months pregnant every day.

Speaker 07: 1:27:32

Oh my god.

Michael: 1:27:33

I wake up six months pregnant every day. But I just think that, you know, as long as as long as the the pool is like it is, it's always gonna be confusion. It's always gonna be confusion.

Keshia: 1:27:51

It's definitely gonna always be confusion.

Michael: 1:27:55

And I believe that once, you know, even you know, they say that uh you pass up what God gives you at least five times in your life. So I'm sure in Atlanta, you probably done pass that person. I I know, I know I I I think I I have early, you know, uh one time, no, I I'm not gonna say that really. But no, it wasn't, but I had an opportunity when I was younger, this this uh female was going into the military, and all she kept telling me is how much she wanted to take care of me. And and she wanted all she wanted for me was, you know, for me to have, you know, a kid with her and all this other stuff. And I just couldn't do it.

KeKe: 1:28:50

And you wasn't ready?

Michael: 1:28:52

Huh?

KeKe: 1:28:52

Maybe you wasn't ready?

Michael: 1:28:53

No, I just didn't want her.

KeKe: 1:28:55

Oh shit. Dang. Wow. Sorry.

Michael: 1:28:59

I mean, it just, you know, it wasn't my cup of tea, you know. And I'm not I'm not sure.

Keshia: 1:29:05

I mean, it just wasn't your cup of tea. There's nothing wrong with that.

Michael: 1:29:07

Yeah, yeah, but but but that's why I didn't want to string her along. You know, that's why I didn't want to, even though that she would have taken care of me and done all that stuff.

KeKe: 1:29:18

See, and you're what of what percent of guys? Because most guys, they'll take that and they'll keep and they'll string it along, knowing damn well they don't want it. Because guess what? You're being taken care of, you have everything you need.

Michael: 1:29:39

The thing that I would want from a woman has nothing to do with like somebody taking care of me. It's more just like companionship because I can do for myself in every aspect. So I I am, I I can't compare myself to a lot of guys out here. Um, I know how to cook for myself. I know how to, you know, build. I know how to work on my own car. I know how to, if I need to, cut my own fucking hair. If I need to, I could, you know, like I don't have somebody where I, you know, ah man, I can't wait to get home. A baby cook me a nice warm meal. Like, it's cool. I'm happy about that. And uh the thing, you know, I don't know where I was going with this, but uh I started thinking about my drink. My bad.

Seven: 1:30:34

But thinking about my drink.

Keshia: 1:30:40

What was the original question?

Michael: 1:30:41

I mean just I guess I was just speaking on um, you know, uh letting letting good ones pass you off.

Keshia: 1:30:52

Because if you ain't ready for it, you ain't ready for it. Like you you can't there's nothing that the female can do to make you ready for it. Like, it is what it is.

James: 1:31:01

I agree.

Keshia: 1:31:03

Where females end up getting hurt is you think you can change a man. You cannot change a man.

Michael: 1:31:10

It's the same with a nigga. A nigga trying to turn a whole with you know that old saying turn a whole into a wife. But I'm just saying, change, I'm just saying change a person, period. Yeah, yeah. It's just change a person, period. Everybody wants somebody to fit. Like sometimes you think that if you're with somebody long enough that you can mold them into who or what you want them to be.

KeKe: 1:31:33

But no matter what, you could mold and but but isn't that how it was back in the day?

Michael: 1:31:41

Not really. More so back in the day, we needed each other.

Keshia: 1:31:44

Now we don't that's part of the we do not need each other. I don't need a man. You don't need a female. That's quick.

Michael: 1:31:50

They quit to say that nah.

Keshia: 1:31:52

That's not a dude to say I don't need a female. You ain't never felt like you need to. I ain't never felt like I don't need a female. What do you think you need? What do you feel that you need a man for? Shit. Everything. Such as everything.

KeKe: 1:32:04

I can do, I can go work, I pay my own bills, live in my house on my own, get my grass cut, and do every goddamn thing I want to on my own. Yes, I can. Even fuck myself on my own. However, I don't want to. That's what I need a man for.

Keshia: 1:32:20

Because I don't want to. That's a good way to put it. I don't want to. I don't want to cut the grass. That's what I'm cut in the trash out.

KeKe: 1:32:27

I don't have to get up and think every goddamn day. I need my person, my man, to be at take on what I don't want to do to that. I don't know. That's why I need a man.

James: 1:32:37

No, that's what I'm not only is that the best way to put it, that's the only way to put it. That's what I'm saying. That's just what it is.

Keshia: 1:32:43

You just learned me something.

James: 1:32:45

What it used to be is women were the caretakers of the they were homemakers.

Keshia: 1:32:51

But that's not anything. And that's not anymore.

James: 1:32:53

And that's not but Mike just said that.

Michael: 1:32:55

I didn't say it wasn't needed anymore. I never said that. He can do it, but it's not there then.

Keshia: 1:33:02

You don't.

Michael: 1:33:03

A woman, a woman don't a woman don't need a man for the same reasons as back in the day. A man don't need a woman for the reasons for the whole thing.

Keshia: 1:33:12

So why do we need each other?

Michael: 1:33:14

For the things that she said, for when you choose to want that person, when you choose to need it. When you choose to. Like back in the day, like he said, you are a homemaker because you couldn't get a job. You needed to be a job. It's the same thing now.

James: 1:33:31

It's a good thing. No, no, no. We're talking about the serious stuff where you couldn't vote, you couldn't get a job, get your own bank account.

Keshia: 1:33:37

Like women needed men. Now it's not like that. Let me ask you this. Women don't need men. That is so sad to say. But if we if for those if you had the choice, if you do for a bank, not to bank in my own bank account.

James: 1:33:52

But you don't want that.

Keshia: 1:33:53

Who the hell?

James: 1:33:54

Wait, but she don't want that. You say you don't need a man.

Keshia: 1:33:59

No, but what Mike is saying from back in the day, women literally could not get bank accounts in their name. Men were the only ones that could get bank. So that's why a lot of women stayed with men because financial purposes, I can't get a job. I cannot get a job. My job is to be home with the kids, wash, do laundry, and all this bullshit. I can't. That was the culture. If you had to no longer like that, if you had the choice right now today, would you go back to that? Me? If you have the choice right now today. Hell no. Would you go back to that? Hell no.

KeKe: 1:34:32

Because you know, at one point in time they say the men work only and women don't. You're homemakers. So you wouldn't be a homemaker.

Michael: 1:34:39

But that's the but that's the thing, though. They want a lot of a lot of a lot of a lot of females want their cake and eat it too now. But you mean because they they want the man to pay all the bills, but they don't, but they don't want to be the homemaker.

Speaker 09: 1:34:53

I don't ever want to be never given.

Keshia: 1:34:59

All the bills for me.

James: 1:35:00

Yes, you would. Yes, you would. You would do it in a heartbeat.

Keshia: 1:35:03

And Mike can attest to this. Come on. The type of female I am. No, I won't even let you pay rent or mortgage. I need to be paying something. Because the minute that you come out your mouth and say, Oh, you can get out, we got a problem. Okay, so check this out. Yeah, no, she might have had a problem. So let me say this.

KeKe: 1:35:19

I don't mind paying bills. I've always worked. I'm no stranger to work. I don't mind paying bills, and I don't believe in running my man dry.

Keshia: 1:35:27

However, I ain't paying no mortgage. I am. I'm gonna pay something on the mortgage. I ain't. I am. Yeah. I ain't doing it. And that's just it's past traumas because you karma. No, no, it's you. Because of karma, I done had dudes live with me and I done said you can get out. I will never put a man in a position to say that to me. Wrong answer. Now let me say this. I'm coming from somebody from a household where this is how I was raised, though. So my mom, she paid bills in the house, yeah. But not more. So let me ask you this. Your parents, they're still together? No. Did you were you raised in a two-parent household? Up until eighth grade. And the reason I asked, most people who were raised in a two-parent household view life differently. I have both sides. Yeah, they view life differently. I have both sides. It cut literally, I would say, at an equal point. That makes sense.

KeKe: 1:36:26

I I so that's why I say, like being in the house with my mother and father, they didn't run each other dry. They it worked for them. One thing I've never heard them or seen them ever do is argue over a finance. Who will pay what or what needs to do this or that? I've never heard that a day in my life as you know growing up.

James: 1:36:46

So your dad would always take care of it.

KeKe: 1:36:48

So in my mind, my dad led, but I do know that my mom helped. Right. She paid. She did her part. She did her part. You know what I mean? So in my mind, you know, she's certainly where, you know, I I come from two shit, independent, hustling ass parents. So, and I didn't even get that. I don't have that bone in my body to, you know, I just learned this from circumstance being with my mom and dad, and also me growing up and getting a piece up outside and knowing and realizing in my mind, like, shit, I don't want to do this. Especially not by my damn self.

Keshia: 1:37:25

So that's why I'm like, I've I've always been on the fence. Like, I don't, I I ain't never say I don't need no man. I need a man. And see the difference is in our family, we come from independent people that we didn't come from a two-parent household. We came from the daddy did it by itself. The mama did it by what ours is the mama did it by herself.

KeKe: 1:37:44

Then remember, I told you I got the split. Right. You can attest to this. My mom don't need shit. What she needs a man for to read some shit to help her understand some shit. Right. She don't need them for shit. Right.

Keshia: 1:37:57

But that's I don't feel like that.

Speaker 04: 1:37:59

That's my taste.

Keshia: 1:38:00

In our situation, our family took it to the toxic level. I damn sure don't need a man. I ain't gotta do nothing but stay black and die. And fuck the horse that you rode in on. And we're trying to change that.

Michael: 1:38:12

But but that's the that I think that's the blessing of my my mom's mom and dad.

Speaker 09: 1:38:17

Yeah.

Michael: 1:38:18

Like living, living, and I like I always tell my mom, I don't know how they were young, but I got them when they were older, settled, they were wise.

KeKe: 1:38:29

So you kind of got both sides of it.

Michael: 1:38:31

So I did. So I always call grandma Mary my gangster grandmama, right? And I call I call my my other grandmother, my emotional grandmother. I get a little bit more. That's really what it is, yeah. I get I I I got to see what it was like for a soft woman to be soft to her man and he come home and he's running the house, but he could be the most rah-rah rah. But when it came down to her, he was soft as a pillow cushion. But then he'll turn that shit right back up when he looks back at us. And we'll be like, but what kind of thing?

Keshia: 1:39:10

But they don't make people like that anymore.

Michael: 1:39:12

My grandmama, my grandmama asked, my grandmama said that she wanted a bathroom and her bedroom. And he built a whole section onto the house and built her a bathroom.

Keshia: 1:39:25

Yeah, they don't make people like that anymore.

Michael: 1:39:27

So I got to see that, but then I also got reality check from my other side.

Speaker 00: 1:39:33

Yeah.

Michael: 1:39:34

So she's like, you know, don't believe everybody for what they say. Yeah, you over here looking at this fairy tale shit, but also no, it's it's dark out here.

Speaker 07: 1:39:43

Yeah, yeah.

Michael: 1:39:45

And so, and so me chasing, I I I tend, I well, I used to tend to, I used to tend to chase the fairy tale. The fairy tale. But I'm getting comfortable with the dark side.

Keshia: 1:40:01

Listen, I I still have the fairy tale in the back of my mind. I have not given up. I still want my fairy tale, I still believe in it. However, comma, now that I'm older, a lot of stuff that my grandma dealt with, her demons, I understand them. So for me, I feel like I might so for me, I feel like I've dealt with some of the dark side already. And I don't want that.

KeKe: 1:40:27

What you had to deal with, you know, you know, you think you want a certain thing until you actually get it, right? Right. And I don't want that. Like, so I've done, I've seen it and I've done it. You know what I mean? It's just like, uh, yeah.

Keshia: 1:40:40

This is this is all right.

James: 1:40:42

That's I'm if you're talking, if you're talking about the dark side like that, where you go, I I just don't think it's for me. You haven't you haven't felt the dark side yet.

Keshia: 1:40:52

Oh no, no, no. I don't dude, I don't will destroy you. I'm not on the fence about it. I know that I don't want it.

James: 1:40:57

It will fuck up your entire thing. I know it will destroy you.

Keshia: 1:41:00

That's where I'm at with it. That's that's exactly where I'm at with it.

James: 1:41:03

And then like to where you can't hatred. You have to feel hatred for a little while before you come to the other side. I'm trying to get to the other side. I drew I I have so much love for you.

KeKe: 1:41:16

Why does it have to be hatred though? Why could it not just be hurt?

James: 1:41:19

It has to be hatred. It has to be hatred. There's no question. No, because you haven't felt it yet.

Keshia: 1:41:24

Once you get there, be blessed that you can't relate. That's what I'm saying. Be grateful that you cannot relate. I get what he said.

Michael: 1:41:32

But what he's saying, the true dark side is where you turn sadness into anger, into fury, into you know, like sometimes to where a person be trying to murder a motherfucker over this type of stuff. Yeah.

Keshia: 1:41:51

I've trust me, I've had my share. Trust me when I don't believe you. I don't believe you. But I would say don't negate it. I won't say that she hasn't had her share. I would say she may not have gone to the levels of what we've had to go through, which is a very good blessing.

James: 1:42:10

And I hope you do.

Keshia: 1:42:11

But I've had I wouldn't wish that on nobody.

KeKe: 1:42:13

And let's just say I didn't get to the thing. But at the same time, I hope you have I know for a fact the level that I get did get too much. What you did experience is not.

Michael: 1:42:22

But no, no, no. There's a whole bunch of them. But I know a lot, I know a lot of your you know, situations, circumstances. So I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not lowballing you at all. You know what I'm saying? I'm not lower.

Keshia: 1:42:33

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not saying that you haven't been through anything, but I commend you just off of us talking in this podcast and your viewpoints on life, I commend you for still being that person because a lot of people are like me.

KeKe: 1:42:46

Well, and see, for me, that's one of the things for me that you say that I'm still that person and still trying to reach for something that I really, really want. I don't, if if what I've dealt with already, I don't want to ever feel like I don't ever get let myself get to a point where I feel like it's it'll take me back there. I don't even, I try to put it out, you know, totally out of my mind, out of, you know what I mean? So it's like I don't even want to get that's good. If I even feel like I'm on the fence of trying to go, I'm gonna go ahead and exit stage left.

Keshia: 1:43:18

That's good. I don't wanna I don't wanna be pulled into a place again. I don't want to do that.

Michael: 1:43:23

Yeah, that's good. My darkest place was with my my first two children's mother. I think I've I I think that was a very dark spot because it was nothing but you know arguments and and and not on my behalf. I that was at the point where I was Mr. Loverboy, Mr. I was young, I just thought that I just wanted, I just wanted to love. Drugged the shit out of me.

Speaker 07: 1:43:55

And I'm like, you'll love me one day. No, I'm not, no, I'm not.

Michael: 1:44:01

I was just like, by the time I got done, I I I by the time I I got up and I I dusted myself off, I seen like like three pieces of me left behind. And I'm like, bro, come on. And they're like, nah, I can't walk with you no more. I don't exist in you no more.

Keshia: 1:44:22

That's sad to say. But that's but it is truth. It's sad to put it into words to say, I don't exist in you. I'm not ready to say that yet. I'm still holding on to okay, you might be way back now somewhere, but but what's wrong with shedding that person though?

Michael: 1:44:39

Because sometimes there's good, there's good stuff and bad. There's good and bad. I guess. So let's all right, so so not not going too far off, but it's just to explain this a little bit more, right? So when I was real young, like, you know, I I very playful, goofy, and all this other stuff, right? And then when I got locked up, that that real goofy guy had to go.

KeKe: 1:45:06

He shared. You shared him off.

Michael: 1:45:07

Right. But I miss him.

Speaker 06: 1:45:10

Okay.

Michael: 1:45:10

I'm so serious now. He's not. And that doesn't exist anymore? I'm at nothing you play around, you say. I play, I play and I'm silly, but I'm not, I'm not the guy from back in the day. I would have loved to be a man.

KeKe: 1:45:25

You're not the younger you, I'm not sure you probably didn't have any.

Michael: 1:45:28

But it it was it wasn't the it's like it wasn't the younger me because like I I knew that it was I could have had been me forever. Because it wasn't like I was being too immature to, but life changed. I felt I felt I yeah, my heart was lighter. You know what I'm saying? And when that happened, that ended up taking pieces away because I had to put new building blocks in to get through what I went through. And then when I come home, and then you know, my grandmother passes, you end up having to take more building blocks and having to put protection blockers up. And then when you end up in a relationship, and then that person ends up doing something to you, and now you can't be that love and just straight up come up to you and I love, love, love, love, love. And you're like, damn, you act like this, and I'm like, damn, I wish you got to know me back in the day. You would have loved to owe me.

Keshia: 1:46:27

Why when you rebuild yourself, why not? Sometimes when you go through trauma, it's gone. It's as much as you want it back, it's gone.

James: 1:46:39

So my failure because you believe that that does not serve you. And it hurts so bad. And this is something that I didn't even have to go to prison for this. This is something I've learned over a lifetime, and it hurts so bad when you want to just be like, there's still like that part of you that goes like uh you still have the desire, but the actuality to be like have a connection, yes, and then you get fucked.

Michael: 1:47:12

Yep. For the people that got it.

James: 1:47:13

And you go, fuck you. I'm not doing this anymore.

Michael: 1:47:17

Right. Have y'all ever watched Inside Out?

Keshia: 1:47:21

That was a perfect, even though it's for kids. That was a perfect yeah. Disney movies are deep. Disney movies are deep, bro.

Michael: 1:47:27

Like I definitely feel that. Inside out had I was boom crying in that movie. You look, I'm a blown man on a podcast, telling you. Inside out, one inside out, one inside, yeah. Inside out too, even did it even worse because I was like calling me straight out.

Speaker 07: 1:47:48

I'm anxiety, yeah.

Michael: 1:47:50

Yeah, that movie is for adults. I can't stop moving because if I move, I feel the sadness, I feel the depression. So I keep myself busy, so busy that I'm like, bro, like Michael, but sit down. I I can't. You can't. I can't.

Keshia: 1:48:06

And even if you sit still, your mind is not settled. Your mind is going 24-7.

Michael: 1:48:12

Constantly going constantly asleep. Yep. Nope. Yeah. You can't you guys sit down and scroll videos until you just notice that you're not awake no more. Yep.

James: 1:48:22

And so, yeah, like fall asleep with my goddamn phone in my hand. Yeah. Just to not think about the fuck shit.

Keshia: 1:48:31

That's crazy.

James: 1:48:33

Yeah, that's wild that. How old are you?

KeKe: 1:48:40

Can I guess? Yeah, guess. This should be interesting.

James: 1:48:47

40. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

Keshia: 1:48:53

I was getting ready. My mouth was working the curve. I was thinking that what curse word was about to be real.

James: 1:49:10

24.

KeKe: 1:49:11

Thank you.

Keshia: 1:49:14

Yeah, I would have put you at 24. No, nowhere near it.

James: 1:49:19

34? Yes. You're older than me.

Keshia: 1:49:22

No way, James. Are you serious? How older are you?

James: 1:49:24

You bag of bones.

unknown: 1:49:26

No way.

James: 1:49:28

You old bag of bones.

Speaker 00: 1:49:30

Are you serious?

James: 1:49:30

33. I'm in my Jesus Christ year. 33 was when Jesus got crucified.

Keshia: 1:49:37

I just turned 34 in May, so. That's what's up.

James: 1:49:40

Wait. When's your birthday? Let me guess again. Because you could either be a Taurus or a Gemini.

KeKe: 1:49:49

What you think?

James: 1:49:51

You're a Gemini.

KeKe: 1:49:52

And I am. And I am. And I am.

James: 1:49:57

Gemini time.

KeKe: 1:49:58

Oh yeah, for sure.

James: 1:50:00

You're a Gemini too? You knew that, dude.

Keshia: 1:50:04

When's your birthday?

James: 1:50:06

Your birthday.

KeKe: 1:50:07

Is it May or June, though?

James: 1:50:09

It's May.

KeKe: 1:50:10

It's May. The 28th.

James: 1:50:13

Close, 27th.

Keshia: 1:50:14

Oh, wow.

James: 1:50:15

Holy shit.

KeKe: 1:50:16

Holy shit.

Keshia: 1:50:17

You have my cousin's birthday. He's three days older than me. And he always we picked and growing up. He used to always be like, well, I'm three days older than you guys.

James: 1:50:26

I knew I had your cousin's birthday.

Keshia: 1:50:27

That's crazy.

Michael: 1:50:30

Wow. Oh, yeah. How much? Man.

Keshia: 1:50:36

So you understand.

James: 1:50:37

Look, so now you understand a little where I understand the dichotomy of like where it's like it's always like I I get this side, but I get this side. It's always that.

Keshia: 1:50:49

So for me, I just I want to turn it off so bad, you know what I mean? Like, and so I just kind of like put it out of sight, out of mind, turn it off, and don't even cut it on. I I don't even know where the switch is anymore. That's where I'm at with things. It's just like I would like to get to that point. So that is a very good thing to do.

KeKe: 1:51:06

If if if I know there's a possibility that when I flick this switch, it's gonna be some negative or some bullshit going on. I'm not even gonna flip the switch. I'm gonna just go on the walk pass.

James: 1:51:16

But you'll come back to the switch. You come back to the switch. You go, I've been thinking about the switch.

KeKe: 1:51:22

I have before.

James: 1:51:24

See?

KeKe: 1:51:25

But now, here, now, no, I'm not going back to the switch. I ain't going back.

Michael: 1:51:31

When you a people manager, the switch comes to you. I told her I had one guy, you know, you know, come up and told me as he was riding by, hey, I need to talk to you.

Speaker 07: 1:51:45

I said, like, what this?

Michael: 1:51:47

All right, and then he get off his cart, he come up to me. Man, you act like you got a problem with me. I said, oh my. And so, like, you know, sometimes, nah, so, so I'm big on respect. Very big. Um, I respect everybody.

Speaker 00: 1:52:10

So when you come at me like that, um certain things come out of me that normally nobody ever sees.

Michael: 1:52:20

Nobody sees it. It takes a lot for me, but it also takes for me to feel very tried by somebody who I feel like feels like they could be a threat to me. And so when he did that, it was he will he walking up to me like as if if I would have said the wrong thing, he was gonna do something. So I didn't laugh, you know, like, but I straight up told him that, you know, before we, before we even get into, you know, what's wrong or what the case is, I just want to let you know, like right here and right now, bro, like what you did right here indicates that you wanna try to do something to me. Like you want to scrap right now. Like, like I wanted to put it to him right then and there, like, hey, you know, if you feel like you got something on your mind, pimp, well, we could we can do it. We can do it. But you could come to me and talk to me about anything, but you're gonna come to me with respect.

Speaker 00: 1:53:20

Yeah.

Michael: 1:53:23

I'm not scared of you, Pimp. I'm not and and and and delivery is everything. Never mind. Um but stuff comes and you have to, you know, yeah, the the more and more sometimes that you deal with it, it's like riding a bike. Sometimes the more and more you deal with it, and then you handle it a certain way. Not if you pop off back with them. But you start to learn how to handle the BS. Maybe not.

Speaker 07: 1:54:04

You do, yeah.

Michael: 1:54:05

You do.

James: 1:54:06

Yeah, you do. You do it's patterns. You start to notice patterns. It's quite simple when you see things like that. People will do things in patterns. Very rare will you see people break their habits or whatever. Like people are humans are habitual people. So it's very easy to see w what people are up to once you start noticing patterns.

Michael: 1:54:42

If you pay attention though, if you pay attention, uh some people uh you know will ignore it because they don't wanna separate themselves from it. What you mean? Because some people like that drama? Yeah, some people like the the the the adrenaline of I don't I don't know, because I'm not that guy, but I don't know what they they fiend for. But it it just seems like they go out their way.

James: 1:55:11

Like I remember when Oh, so you're saying that people other people will go out their way to like shake shit up. Like some people do. Just because I believe it.

Keshia: 1:55:25

They they they attention seekers, they they negativity people. Yeah, like you always gotta be fighting, you gotta be arguing, you always gotta be that is sickening. It is so I and draining.

Michael: 1:55:35

I used to hate, I used to always hate dating somebody, right? When you always get in that so who you on the phone with? So what were you doing? So what were you doing?

Keshia: 1:55:48

I'm like that.

Michael: 1:55:49

Oh my god, try not to know it. Yes, I am mentally like that.

Keshia: 1:55:53

That is my thought process all the time.

KeKe: 1:55:56

I have a weird, so so I've I've been on the side where I'm being the one. I have been questioned because okay, going to the grocery store, right? I'm not a grocery shopper where when I go to the grocery store, I'm not gonna go once a week and I got everything for the whole week. Hell no.

Keshia: 1:56:18

I'm the one if I'm gonna figure out on on Sunday, I probably know what I want to cook for Monday. I might go to the store on Monday to go get it too.

KeKe: 1:56:27

But then on Tuesday tomorrow, if I think I have an idea of what I want to eat on Tuesday, I might get it Monday. Who knows? My mind might change. So I might have to go to the grocery store Monday.

James: 1:56:36

Dude, you're a fucking psycho.

KeKe: 1:56:38

So check this out, right? You like the grocery store that much?

James: 1:56:45

It's cup noodles 40 hours a week.

Keshia: 1:56:54

You was doing something else? I'm doing something. Who the fuck is at that grocery store? Nobody. The fucking groceries.

Michael: 1:57:00

That's what we're trying to ask you. What the fuck is at that grocery store?

KeKe: 1:57:04

That's bad. But it's the groceries. And that's it. But you said in defense of that person. Your first mind was this bitch is crazy. She done went to the goddamn grocery store four times. But you ain't thinking your mind, it's Jack at the grocery store. Did you think that?

Michael: 1:57:18

Maybe, maybe that you didn't even go to the grocery store. Maybe you stopped by the grocery store and that was your way to go grab a bag of uh little groceries, and then you go see, you know, Pablo Escobar.

Keshia: 1:57:29

Hell no. Because if you not a fucking meeting about it, for real going to the grocery store. But you know what it is? It's a trauma response. There's no devil's advocate to that one. It's a trauma response to that. The reason why I went to the grocery store. There is no devil's advocate. And if you damn know me, then you know that that's what I do.

James: 1:57:47

Wait, wait, wait. Say it again. Say what's the reason to go to the grocery store?

KeKe: 1:57:50

Shit. I don't know. That's just like going to the street. If I want to eat something on Monday, okay, I just said today. I want some spaghetti on Sunday.

Keshia: 1:58:00

I'm gonna make some fucking spaghetti on Sunday. Guess when I'm gonna go to the store to get that shit.

KeKe: 1:58:04

Who knows? But it'll probably be on Sunday.

Michael: 1:58:06

When I was at my old place, I used to hit publics up almost every time.

Keshia: 1:58:11

But to her point, no, her point is she legit going to the grocery store because she's the person that goes to the grocery store every day or every other day. But dude thought, well, why you going to the grocery store?

KeKe: 1:58:20

And I can't date somebody who's like, damn, bitch. Well, what the fuck? I can't. Like, what the fuck is at that grocery store?

James: 1:58:26

Hold on. Are you making up a scenario or is this actually?

Keshia: 1:58:29

Oh no, this actually happened to me.

James: 1:58:30

You went to the grocery store too many times?

Keshia: 1:58:33

Yeah, that's crazy. I can't date somebody like that. That's crazy. Who the fuck is at the grocery store or or or I that's mm-mm. I and I'm not gonna do that to somebody.

James: 1:58:44

I know the fact that you were in love with the cashier. I know you were.

Keshia: 1:58:50

So I'm like, you know, and I wouldn't do that to somebody. You had a grocery husband. You had a grocery husband. Have either one of you ever had somebody call or or have either one of you ever called somebody's phone over 10 times? Nah, call Kenna.

Michael: 1:59:06

Can can oh my God. Can can does before 18 count?

Keshia: 1:59:12

Before 18, Mike, what the hell is you keep calling for?

Michael: 1:59:15

I've done that before.

Keshia: 1:59:16

Why? What what were you hoping to to do? If I didn't answer on the first ring or the fifth ring, why the hell you gonna call 15 other times?

Michael: 1:59:24

Cause we were arguing and I wanted to finish my fucking. Yeah, no. I'd have put your ass on the block list.

Keshia: 1:59:29

She probably that is sick.

Michael: 1:59:31

She probably did. I said before 18, so it was when I was. But yeah, that don't count.

KeKe: 1:59:35

Yeah, before yeah, that don't count. But if you didn't write it.

Michael: 1:59:38

That's why I said I don't want to sit here and lobby and be like, I nerve dirt that shit before then the person be listening like, nigga, yeah, she did.

James: 1:59:50

I can't dance. You leave a voicemail. Yeah, you leave a fucking gay voicemail.

Keshia: 1:59:54

You didn't even fucking come back.

KeKe: 1:59:56

He didn't even fucking come me back.

Keshia: 1:59:59

I would finish my argument. On their voicemail.

KeKe: 2:00:01

I'm not leaving no damn argument on I'm not even leaving no damn voice argument.

James: 2:00:04

You get that way. I wouldn't have to do that. Three calls max. Three calls max because I give you the benefit of the doubt.

Keshia: 2:00:12

On purpose. But I'm not a voicemail leading person. I haven't cared about anything.

James: 2:00:16

I'm not a voicemail person either.

Keshia: 2:00:18

That much in a long time. Ever, probably.

James: 2:00:23

That's when I send those. That's when I send those voices text. Bitch, you better answer the phone now.

Speaker 00: 2:00:30

That's kind of fun.

Michael: 2:00:31

I got pizza. Nah. You're not even here. Nah, I ain't got I I don't have the time and energy no more.

KeKe: 2:00:37

Yeah, I'm not about to call. Ooh. Yeah, no, no.

Michael: 2:00:40

Nah, I ain't got a time and energy. So if if I call you, you know, and you don't answer, I'm not gonna ignore you, but you know, like it is what it is. Yeah, yeah. You're busy. I'm not, and if we if if if like let's say back in the day when I said we were arguing, and you know, if we argue and you hang up, hey, you need your space. Right, man.

KeKe: 2:01:04

I would think the same thing.

Michael: 2:01:06

I guess you got tired of talking. Right, like you hang up on me.

KeKe: 2:01:10

It's time to cool down. That's just it.

unknown: 2:01:12

Yeah.

Keshia: 2:01:13

If you think that I'm no, don't been in that like that in a long time. That is terrible. All over the five. I ain't been in nothing like that in a good long time.

James: 2:01:25

Look, you get excited about it, don't you?

Keshia: 2:01:27

Alright, I forgot how it used to feel. I haven't.

Michael: 2:01:32

You like you like you like to feel stalked? Hell no.

Keshia: 2:01:36

I've never had a stalker. Yeah, no, I never had a stalker. I had an almost stalker, but then I'm I block people. I blocked people quick.

James: 2:01:45

Until you actually get it.

Keshia: 2:01:46

That's why I said back earlier.

James: 2:01:47

You think you like a lot of things? Until actually you actually quick.

KeKe: 2:01:52

Hell no.

James: 2:01:53

No, no, no. I'm not talking about blocking somebody.

Keshia: 2:01:56

You didn't have no pair on your ass to come to my house unannounced. I promise you, I don't think nobody should go to anybody's houses unannounced. Yeah. That's not that's not cool. Don't do that.

James: 2:02:06

I agree with that too.

Keshia: 2:02:07

Don't do that. You'll you'll call a couple of times, you'll email a couple of times. Gene pulling up.

Michael: 2:02:12

So I had I had I had a story, right? Oh my god.

Keshia: 2:02:15

Oh shit.

Michael: 2:02:15

And this shit was real funny when he showed up unannounced. No, not where. But I I was, you know, I was uh kicking it with this person, right? And it was it was pretty cool. But then one day um she was drunk and she went out with her co-workers. And by the time that you know she got to the the Braves game, she's inebriated. Yeah.

Speaker 07: 2:02:50

And so I'm like, you know, hey, how you doing?

Michael: 2:02:56

Like, hey, look at my friend, hey done. You know how they get in a look at hey, and all her friends seeing me, oh he's a cute girl.

Speaker 07: 2:03:04

Hey, I'm like, oh god, hi, okay, bye.

Michael: 2:03:07

And next thing you know, a little while later, I get a text message talking about I want to come over and see you. Now, I'm like, I don't wanna see you. So I don't say shit. I just let that motherfucker there. Next thing you know, I start hearing knocking at my door. You hear what? Knocking at my door. So I look at my ring camera. I'm drunk and it's as hot as drunk. Did you open that door? So nah, at first nah. At first I didn't answer the phone, I didn't answer the door. Cause you know, Reznal was with me, Masaya was with me. So I ain't answering no door, no nothing. So then next thing you know, I start hearing rocks at my window. So I swear to God, I'm not making this up. I put this on everything I love. This is not, I'm not fabricating this shit at all. And so I keep hearing it, and I'm looking out the window like, damn, I'm hoping like after a while, motherfucker, you'll go. No. She just started hitting that door harder and harder, trying to get me to open the door. And so I'm sitting here like, man, damn, I'm in my bed, like, mic, just answer the door. So next thing on Messiah gets out the bed now. So Messiah's like, what's going on? Now I was like, there's somebody outside drunk. And a smart ass. Even back then, she was like, Is it somebody you're talking to? I was like, not really. And so the funny thing was, like, I went to go, and she's looking at me like nigga, answer the door. So I went and I asked, like, fucking, I answered the door, and Messai was right there, wanting to be right next to me because she thinks she's my guardian, something. Oh Lord. And so the by the time that I answered the door, and I was like, what's up? She just looked and was like, and she looked down at Messiah, and she was just like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Um I said, nah, it's all good, but what's up? I said, you done got me up now, yeah. Like, like I I tried to play man, you know, I was like, you sit up there, my kids, and I was like, Where's your car? I Ubered here.

James: 2:05:37

I said Well, you might yeah, well you might as well stay.

Michael: 2:05:46

So so so so so I was like, so I was I was trying to help like call, you know, we'll go ahead and call you an Uber because you know you can't be here. And so she's like, my phone's dead, can't Elise come in the house? And I'm like, Mother, nah. And I'm like, she drunk. Like, I know she drunk, so if I left her out here and something bad happened, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was like, I wanted to make sure the Uber got her and took us, you know, took us to the house.

James: 2:06:17

They're waiting for the Uber. He's feeding her nutter butters.

Michael: 2:06:21

You know, the Swiss cake rolls. Like, even though I pissed out, like, you know, man, my heart too big. My heart big as fuck. So I stayed on the phone with her, like, hell yeah, like the next day when she was sobered up, yeah. Me and her, what gave her the business? Not really, but kinda, and I just but I wanted to make sure she went home and was straight because no matter what, you know what I'm saying? If I if I fuck with you in any type of way, I should care about somewhat of your safety.

KeKe: 2:06:49

Yeah.

Michael: 2:06:50

But yeah, that would that was my worst pop-up. My worst pop-up incident.

Keshia: 2:06:57

I'm not gonna say my worst. I don't think I've ever had a fence.

Michael: 2:07:00

Were you the pop-up or you somebody popped up on you? Nah, she popped up.

Keshia: 2:07:04

I've been on both sides of the fence.

Michael: 2:07:06

You know what? I have two.

Keshia: 2:07:08

I've been on both sides of the fence. I've never had a pop-up, but I've popped up.

KeKe: 2:07:12

I've been on that side.

Keshia: 2:07:14

But when I popped up, I I I I I could have gone to jail. No thing about my child or anything. I could have went to jail. It was about to go.

James: 2:07:21

It'd be that way sometime on me. Was this when you were younger?

unknown: 2:07:25

Three weeks, three, not three weeks.

Keshia: 2:07:26

No, don't say three.

James: 2:07:27

Three years.

Keshia: 2:07:30

What did you say 48 years? Not three.

KeKe: 2:07:32

I popped up, but when I popped up, it was just Tomato tomato I popped up and I popped up and I did the knocking, but no response. I'm like, okay, cool. But where I was when I popped up, it was like, okay, well, I'm just gonna sit here and just uh when I popped up, they answered the door when they closed the door.

Keshia: 2:07:53

Me not thinking, that's why I'm putting myself in these situations. I tried to open the door. Had the door open, I'd went to jail. Yeah, no, I'm not. So I just watched when I did the pop-up and just sat there and then seeing what I need to see, and just was like, all right, I'm going to do it. I might be saying something to the person, but I ain't I'm not like a conversation. I ain't about to do all that. I climbed like even to this day, I have to keep sure. You can't go on that side of town. I will tell myself you cannot go on that side.

KeKe: 2:08:21

If it's something that I know will trigger me and I know for a fact it'll put me in some danger now, I'm gonna lose my shit. I ain't even gonna go. I'm not doing that.

Michael: 2:08:29

I climbed up onto the second floor balcony just to get inside so I could find out what was going on. And I found out what was going on.

Keshia: 2:08:38

I don't ever want to be in that situation. Let me tell you this. And then it was in my place to go. I wanted to pop up, but something in my it was literally probably by the grace of God, like the situ matter of fact, and now that I'm actually thinking about it, so I did the pop-up, and this would have been twice, but the very first time I could have did a pop-up, something some it was something like don't just don't do it. Don't do it. So I know for a when I got that mind, you know that see mine was when you should do on your shoulder, just ride over that. You ain't gonna do that. Just ride over that.

KeKe: 2:09:17

So sitting on my shoulder, and I'm telling you that that devil kept paying me that day.

Keshia: 2:09:22

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph got to come with this angel and say, look, girl, because the devil, if I listen, first mind, if I listen and go, I ain't no telling what the fuck. Yeah. First mine was Kisha just gonna ride over though. You ain't gonna do nothing. See you ain't gonna ride. Got over there, pulling dryway. I'm just gonna sit here. Get out the car. Like my mental just, and then by the time I got out the car and was at their doorstep, I knocked on the door. This idiot answers the door and is like, what are you doing here? And I was like, What are you doing here? And it just went left. And so he, not an alpha female, he little bitch nigga, closed the door, and that's when I tried to open the door. And again, thankfully, they had the little automatic lock. Cause had that door opened, I'd be in jail. I'd have been in jail.

James: 2:10:19

So do you want to hear my crash out story? No shit. So me and my ex had split, and uh, she had another place, and uh I was uh I was coming by because she had taken a bunch of my shit. She took my PlayStation, dude. Yeah, she was trying to for real get back at you. I know, but like we talked for a little bit, like we just hung out, and then um I was like, look, I don't think and this was a long-going thing, you know this story, but this was a long-going thing. But I was like, I think we should just split and not talk anymore. I took one, I took one of my things, and it was a piece of furniture, and I walked out, and she went, I don't want to see you anymore. And she slammed the door. I went, dude, my PlayStation cards are in there, dude. I broke the door down. And uh motherfucking cartridges. Yeah, my memory cards, uh yeah. I I wanted that PlayStation back. Uh I didn't get it because I only got it.

Keshia: 2:11:32

I didn't crash out on somebody before, but I just did that shit because it was something to do. Like now that I think about it, it's like when I think about it, it's like I was just doing stupid shit. Because it was really just stupid shit.

James: 2:11:44

Like, girls, I was drunk that night that I did that, obviously. Like I was mad because I wanted my PlayStation and also because I was like, this person that I thought I loved, I had to learn how to not love her anymore.

Keshia: 2:11:57

I probably just crashed out because I've my period was coming on or something. Who knows? I don't I can't even recall me telling you the story now. Like, should I just be going shit? My crash out. I I I tend to act before I think my child has saved a bunch of lives. Oh, not me.

Speaker 09: 2:12:11

Yeah.

Keshia: 2:12:12

Um I had to stop putting I had to stop putting my sink, my, my, myself in those situations because I know me, even to this day. I have to, okay, I walk away, I'll let you have it. Because I know me. I be done hit you before I know it. I be done bust your ass. Like, I be done bust your ass before I know it. By the time the red me up, I did it.

Michael: 2:12:33

So by the time the red fade away, everything's over.

Keshia: 2:12:36

I never been one of those women like you know the you know the the um the I call them the clothes bleachers, the ones who damage your property.

KeKe: 2:12:45

Never been one of those. I'm gonna damage you.

Michael: 2:12:49

Yeah, I don't know.

KeKe: 2:12:55

That shit is a journaling rush.

Keshia: 2:12:57

It might be fun. Who knows?

KeKe: 2:12:58

I I go along. It really is one of my friends. Yeah, it's really fun.

James: 2:13:02

Can I guess you're really no no no? I want to guess your sign.

Keshia: 2:13:07

You won't be able to guess my sign.

James: 2:13:09

Let me guess the uh uh try to guess at least the group. You're a water sign.

Keshia: 2:13:14

Look at you! Okay, you wanna keep going?

James: 2:13:22

You're cancer.

Keshia: 2:13:23

No, I'm a Pisces. You weren't supposed to tell me, dude.

Michael: 2:13:29

It's like you had one guest, and the one guest was it. Well, guys, I know that we've been, you know, we always go out for like two hours and have good conversations, and I know that we're about wrapped and about there. And this was a good ass conversation, man. We had some good, good points, and I appreciate everybody that came out, but we we talked about trauma, we talked about the good witch and the bad witch, we talked about spazzing out stories. Like, listen, listen, and and and you know, before we leave, I I I have such a bad habit because I like watching crash out videos. Like, my algorithm is uh Karen videos, police stuff, and fights at Chuck E. Cheese. Um someone just gets smacked right across their face and duck and donuts.

James: 2:14:35

And it's like, god damn.

Michael: 2:14:38

So much entertainment. But anywho, man, you know, this is the Unbreakable Black Man podcast, and you know, we're we're still growing. I'm I'm still learning a couple of things about making sure my memory card is um free of space.

James: 2:14:54

So we here, we here, we here, we here.

Michael: 2:14:57

Yeah, we are, yeah, yeah, yeah. So as we close this this day out, you know, always remember your mouth is strong, but your mind is even stronger. So stop talking about it and make shit happen. I'm out.