The Unbreakable Black Man Podcast
“Welcome to The Unbreakable Black Man Podcast, where we dive into the real-life conversations about everyday challenges, relationships, work, and money. From navigating modern dating to balancing career goals with personal ambitions, we unpack it all with humor, honesty, and practical advice. Whether you’re hustling at work, figuring out your love life, or just trying to make sense of it all, join us each week for insights that feel like a chat with your best friend.”
The Unbreakable Black Man Podcast
Friday Night Rambles VOL: 19 - We Define The “Fuck Boy,” Share The Wounds, And Choose Peace Over Chaos
The room starts light, then goes brave. We brought a full panel of sharp, funny, no‑nonsense women plus Michael to name the thing out loud: what “FB” behavior really looks like and why so many people mistake chaos for chemistry. We map the pattern—narcissism, games, and emotional dodging—and pair it with the antidote: honesty, boundaries, and action that matches words. No pontificating. Real stories, real consequences, real choices that restore peace.
From there we press on the levers that shape our relationships: the music that taught boys to mock feelings, the homes where no one modeled safety, and the pressure that told women to marry fast and heal quietly. We refuse that script. You’ll hear why therapy only works if you’re honest, how a father can raise a daughter to read actions, not excuses, and what it takes to build a home where kids are heard, not just housed. The most vulnerable stretch comes when Michael shares a brutal run—engagement, marriage, a near-fatal highway accident, and being left in the aftermath—followed by the hard lessons about workers’ comp, community, and resilience.
By the end, we’re laughing about “big seats” and plotting trips, but the backbone of the conversation is clear: choose partnership over performance, independence over approval, and peace over patterns. We celebrate hidden talents—voiceover work, fiber art, nursing, music, writing—and the power of travel to reset your nervous system and your story. If you’ve ever felt pushed to settle, trained to shrink, or afraid to start over, this one hands you language, tools, and permission to protect your energy.
If this resonated, subscribe to The Unbreakable Black Man Podcast, share it with someone who needs a boundary boost, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway. Your story might be the next one that helps someone else stand up.
Yeah yeah yeah Welcome to the Unbreakable Black Man Podcast and your host Michael Terrell and I'm so glad that you are here and I'm so glad that I have a whole gang of individuals here we're about to have a good conversation I'm so happy happy with a big smile on my face and all that good stuff because as some people said nobody even knows about this podcast I did not say that it's the best podcast but anyway y'all know we just like to get on here and have fun and have good conversations and so I had a concept of a back and forth thing right so I had a couple of good conversations with the past guest on here and I was like shoot all of them were females so I was like I needed a panel of women to have a discussion and then vice versa we're gonna let Miss Seven host next week and we're gonna have our daily Y ins and I have not accepted that invitation it doesn't matter so as everybody knows we start off and yeah as y'all see y'all gonna see a little rat at the bottom but you know this is a support animal for somebody so my baby so we're gonna start we're gonna start at the end and we're gonna introduce you know let everybody have a chance to introduce themselves so as everybody introduce ourselves remember talking to the microphone so the people at home can hear and who's the what's he do you want to hear sure I was about to say we're gonna hello everyone my name is Ebony hello Ebony what do you want me to say tell us about you who are you what you got going on what makes you Ebony okay you know ebony is is many things um ebony is a Pisces if you know what that means and um yeah I'm gonna leave it at that for now yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna leave it there for now okay all right my turn all right so I'm Vanessa let me see I'm chill but I'm here for a good conversation seven invited me I'm excited to hear what we're about to talk about might be spicy a little bit more spicy I'm ready for it and you know me it's the five the six the seven um so yeah I'm still doing what I've been doing and very excited to have these lovely ladies with us here tonight including Miss Tootaloo and um we're gonna have a great conversation too we're gonna have a great conversation it's always great when we got ladies because I'm usually the only one and it's about fucking time me okay hi my name is Tam Mac Tam Mac Miss Mac if you're nasty okay and Tam motherfucking Mac I'm a character what can I say Pisces you get in the microphone Miss Nasty was I'm not in the mic I maybe you don't think that I am because you don't have on the headphones. Oh well sorry it's already spicy here we go you ask for it for a V Do I need to be closer now you if you can hear yourself you should be here it's my turn yes I'm Kiki hi Kiki hey y'all I'm here here for good conversation and laughs I'm happy to see you ladies and since we call now zodiac signs let's not mention that Gemini is the best Gemini is my spirit like you know I'm Aquarius by the way well I'm Sagittarius so wait a minute my birthday's coming up so let me put that out there for everybody it's coming up yeah and we're gonna have a good time today and hello my name is Michael and I'm here for all the shits and giggles uh we're gonna have a good topic about uh why are there so many FBs in Atlanta we would that would be all night I'm a Scorpio um and I like to you know ride my e-bike at nighttime oh my God while the wind is beneath my wings with no helmet or shouldn't help no my daughter didn't have her shoes on I had my shoes on she didn't have hers on so so so let's just jump right into the the FB subject okay can you tell us what the FB is first so for everybody out there in La La Land Fuck boy that is what FB means they are running rampant running and so yeah they that that yeah I'm I'm here but we're gonna lose hear this this wonderful conversation about you fuck boys all right but I'm sorry did I interrupt you no I was I'm sorry I was you know but I was I had a thought like because you asked like let's define it but let's define it because okay what does everybody think a fuck boy is you want to start from this in first since we um just a boy I won't say a man a boy who just does not have his shit together like you come with bullshit and that is what I would define a fuck boy it can be many things one particular being get your shit together so that that yeah okay so that's that's one thing that can define a fuck boy to me I would have to say narcissism I mean I should just my number one that's the best way for me to describe it I like that I like all the definitions so far um I would add you know which is dishonest just lying all that like why are you lying you know just for easy like the lies keep coming and coming and coming so what you guys said so I think the ones that just play games like for the sake of playing games and playing with people that would be my definition my ex-boyfriend though redacted number one let him know too um I I am not going to call his name and give him that energy but we will call him redacted number one um a cheater someone that cannot handle their emotions that is not emotionally mature and has not healed themselves before invading your space and I could keep going but I'm gonna stop there and I'm gonna add a little tidbit to write to like summarize all this or not summarize but one last little underlying thing is abusive.
Tam Mac:Now not always in the physical sense but you so broken that you don't know how to communicate you don't know how to you you're just not equipped so don't even step to me if you know but see a lot of them a lot of them be oblivious because they seen their parents do it so now they feel like this is what love is and that is normal.
Speaker 6:But that also goes back to not healing you know we're daddy came from a very fucked up family mama daddy fucked up family and that's what he saw and acknowledged that but instead of working on it and wanting to do better you say that but you're not doing the work to be a better person. Is he a denial? Very much so very much I see it yet you know because that was one of the things I said you're acting just like your father yeah and that was so triggering to him but you are you're acting just like the man you say you hate so much but I think hurt people so because of that I think hurt people that feel more comfortable hurting other people like they understand how to live in a space of hurt so they're not trying to heal like I'm comfortable here but I'm gonna bring everybody else into my shit of your life but you're really uncomfortable there.
Speaker 5:So so based on what we're all saying like is it important you know to communicate the unhealed things in all of us because we're all we all come with something or we might be working on things so it's it's not to say that we're just unhealed and we just out here but like should you come out with that you know and at what point do you share that? Are they scared to share it?
Speaker 6:Like when should what should we be doing that we're not doing I think that you should share it. But at what point do you share it? And then if you're going to share it be ready to share it and do something about it.
Tam Mac:Don't just share shit to be sharing it because you could have kept it right and left me alone I feel like it should be shared only how can I say that share it when you know it's with the right person. Because a lot of these people will use that as a uh shot fire you know they'll use it they'll be so quickly using that should be shared that information to the wrong person. It was something you said what was that question you asked when do we share when is it time to share it? When is it time yeah when is it time to share so it's like I would say as soon as I find out or realize that this person could be worth it you know what I'm saying like okay this person is worth me being vulnerable I should say worth me opening up to I feel but at what point do you do you determine that you are safe with this person it depends on you.
Speaker 6:Okay you can feel yeah but the fuck boy know yeah it's action but does a fuck boy know that they're a fuckboy like they don't they don't know this so they think it's acknowledging right because you have to actually know and I don't think that they know it I think that this is normal to them and I think that they attract when they find somebody I think who is healed they don't know how to receive that right so they really lose their mind so they are comfortable plugging with other people who are not healed right but this is this is a part this is a part of that too in my situation he wanted to be different for me.
Ebony:And so he sent his representative and he said he tried to be the person that he wanted to be and he thought I wanted to be but that's only gonna last so long because it's not authentic.
Speaker 6:And then the mask is gonna slip and the real person is going to eventually come out and show themselves.
Tam Mac:I speak my mind, I always speak my mind but now after I have spoken my mind you can't it's too late for you to do anything about it. Because now I don't know if you're doing it because I brought it up or if you're doing it because you genuinely care. So just don't do it for me at all at this point.
Speaker 5:But I want to hear from let's hear from a man of all this what you got to say.
Michael:I don't personally deal with fuck with it I hear you know a lot of the things that you ladies are saying and it's hard for me to you know give answers when I hear a lot of times that the way that I handle things or the way that I look at things or the way that I act or you know whatever is kind of different. So for me to sit here and say you know oh they don't do that I would be lying right but what I can say is that you know it does suck. Um I do believe I was I would well let's start with this I was raised by a grandfather who showed me what a good man was right and so when I'm out here I try to play as if I was him and I don't pay attention to what's going on around me. Like so I know that that I've I've heard it I've seen it with my mother my aunts my cousins I've seen it you know but I don't think that y'all deserve that I don't um I do know that it's supposed to be that you know a woman's supposed to be able to hide up under her husband's or her man's bosom and feel protected and safe in all aspects emotionally spiritually physically but um the way the world's played out now is um you know our influence isn't home no more right our influence is Nicki Minaj our influence is is is is Kanye West Jay Z ring right but but but then you got you got you got the guy saying you know you know don't don't love that bitch yeah don't love that bitch don't love that hoe don't trust that hoe don't trust that bitch yeah that's all we hear and as a kid like I'm thinking about like we were talking about the other day like um I used to listen to like old rappers Bone Thugs Harmony and E uh E40 Too Short and all this other stuff and I ain't never really recognized how much they were trying to program me to hate myself hate hate hate my women you know hate education hate to be smart like they they like literally in in every influence that we have out here it's it's it's it's like a it's like a needle filled with the worst type of drug and it's feeding it to us. So now by the time you do have a man that gets older and he don't have no daddy trying to show him because luckily I had my grandfather at least show me what it was to be a provider a builder so I that's how I learned how to build that's how I learned how to work on things because it was like that's what niggas do. You know what I'm saying?
Tam Mac:So that's how I just knew so when I see people that were like I don't know change no tire like how nigga please my daughter knows how to change the tire at 15 that's the crazy part about it when I got my first car my father taught me how to change a tire and then my good friend her tire went flat I'm like friend like it's nighttime we have kids I said where would you have been where would you be without me she said I'll call my dad where would you be without him or I'll find somebody Jason because my dad wouldn't teach me anything because my dad is very much in my life I love my daddy that's my dog however I'm gonna call my dad same I'm gonna call him and if I can't call him I'm probably gonna be somewhere freaking the fuck out.
Speaker 6:Who knows?
Michael:But if I had to change the tire it don't take rocket science I would do it but I just feel like you know I have men in my life that will yeah but see you you you you you a you're a secure daddy's girl yeah for sure yeah you know that daddy's gonna be there it's a di but but that's that's the security that a woman should have with her man too yeah it is it's supposed to be the the the the the like if if that if if you call me and I don't care if I'm in Buck Tusca Alabama and you say baby I got a flat tower shit it's gonna take on the way it's gonna take me two half hours to get that baby but I'm on the way just described another another FB the one that gets mad because I still call my daddy I think that's really interesting because I think that they are used to wanting somebody to depend on them.
Speaker 6:Yeah right and so your father is now yeah right like I need I need you to be here you gotta be all with me totally consumed in me so any other man is going to present a challenge but my daddy not missing any pieces to the puzzle that's right he might have all the missing pieces and you want me to count on your puzzle but your puzzle is missing pieces and I know for a fact it's nothing missing here so I'm gonna call my daddy where I feel safe. Your shit is not together so I can't and in order for me to you want me to eliminate my dad you gotta I can't do that. I'm never gonna do that.
Michael:However I I understand that you want to be that man but are you showing me and show up and doing what I just want to always like be with you so I relate my dad you know transitioned in 2019 oh god but like I have that embedded in me like you know to where I know the difference and I haven't always lived to know the difference but you learn and you grow you have to figure it out on your own but still like I know like what I shouldn't be dealing with and what you know whatever and like that's a and I um when I say this I hope y'all understand affiliate but it's it's kind of privilege because not everybody grows up even if your dad is in the house right yeah he might not be a father right yeah you know absolutely and it was it's like I I couldn't say oh it's okay because I can call my dad I would say oh it's all good I call my youngest child's father he was the one that taught me that he said shouldn't no other man be able to play you ever again in life because I'm teaching today you know what I'm saying so yeah they used to get real mad when I just said it's all good but at least I know even still to this day I can call him up and if he don't want to listen guess what I can call his girlfriend and be like that you know what I'm saying so like I'll always be a part of my life yeah yeah you know the funny thing is with with my daughter since she was a baby I've never hear talk different nothing she's always got the raw me in something real raw okay you're like we say that she is just like you see sometimes they become intelligent but that but that's how but I I I I tell her all the time I said look I said I'm teaching you independence not to use it as a weapon right but so you will be able to go out there and have value right you know what I'm saying it's not to be used as a weapon I don't need that no no no no cu you do you know just as much as because my I I love when I get to see my daughter she'll be like my dad needs me I'm like but but but a woman should always know that a man needs them just as much as we need y'all right and that's and that's another thing we're missing because you got to and I say this especially living in Atlanta you have too many niggas that that feel like like they don't need because there is an abundance let me let me add on to that let me add on that hold on hold on hold on this mic it's too many men it's too many men out here with mother issues who have seen their mothers been disrespected played treated like shit so they feel like okay well I can get away with it this is what I've seen all my life not saying necessarily that this is what they're set out to do.
Tam Mac:It's like you said it's in them it's embedded in them a lot of them don't even know it not to not to you know justify it or anything but just to say you know a lot of them don't even know and when you try to tell them they're in denial oh that's not me oh like you said just like your father oh that's not me I used to be like that too until somebody you said you're just like your mom and I said back and I thought and I was like you know what you're right I am maybe I am that bitch and I just left it at that so but it's like people don't want to turn that mirror on themselves that is very hard to look in that mirror and actually see it um and I think that was part of the problem just the acknowledgement of it not being able to acknowledge that I have this this flaw um you know we talked about me and redacted talked about therapy um because I'm going to therapy and I know that it's not for everybody but it was for me.
Speaker 6:I think that was definitely something that he needed um but therapy is not gonna work if you're not honest. So there's no point in you wasting your time or the therapy time or your money.
Ebony:That part um so he tried it but again it's not gonna work if you're not honest. You're not gonna get anything out of it.
Speaker 6:Um he is forever going to be broken and it was just one of those situations that I had to come to realize that I am healing and I am going to continue to heal and instead of him doing the work and healing he is just fucking his way around Atlanta. Right. And I think a lot of men do that. Women well some women thank you let me rephrase some women will take the time after a breakup to heal.
Ebony:We will not run and jump on top of or under another man.
Speaker 6:We will sit here we will deal with our emotions we will cry scream do all of the things that's the phase that I'm in now some men don't do that.
Michael:Yeah they will just go run from woman to woman to woman thinking that's going to fix the problem and it's not they're they're chasing a void because there's something missing in them that they are trying to feed and it's crazy because I had an ex tell me in the midst of our breakup you know it doesn't matter if we break up today or tomorrow I will still be with somebody new by the end of the week because I can't be alone that's gross but I but I think there's a lot of men that can't be vulnerable like that right like that takes a lot of vulnerability but there's a there's a male and female there's a lot of people that don't know how to be alone they will settle and they will be with an abusive relationship they'll be in a broke situation they'll deal with somebody's badass kids with the baby mama a baby dad because they like I I I I don't know I just I I can't see myself without them no you can't see yourself being alone but there's a lot that also think toxic is normal you know like that you remove toxic and have peace and it's like I don't know how to do that. Or it's too boring for them.
Speaker 5:Right yeah or it's too boring for them that part yes and that's so sad like it's so sad. I remember you know talking about therapy like I am divorced and in my marriage like we did pre we did and this should have been a sign it should have been a sign but we did couples counseling when we were just dating and I remember the therapist had this look on her face while we were talking to her and she just looked at me and I could hear her words. It was a white woman and she just gave me this look like sis and I don't know why I don't know why my ass and then that was just we were dating then we had the premarital and I'm thinking he about to be honest there's no honesty there's no coming out with all the wasn't the same therapist no premarital okay different which makes it even worse with a third bat like go to the next office and then we had one you know when we were married like because I was kind of at that point where I was like I don't think I can do this and but what I will give him is every time he suggested it which you know I felt like was it gave me hope but that last one gave me the same look as the first one and he just looked at me like this like and you know and it's like I think that for me personally and I don't know if anybody else on the panel can relate to this but I felt so much pressure in my 20s my 30s of like do you have a boyfriend and if you do have a boyfriend well when are y'all gonna get married and if you you know it's like it's always something you can't just live and I know that you don't have to buy into that or listen to it but when it's coming from everywhere including like you know people closest to you who should be like kind of you know making you feel comfortable right to just live like not um so anyway I just feel like um sometimes it's okay that's gonna click it twice I'm trying to think of the point I was trying to make I lost well I'm gonna I'm gonna chime in yes thank you because um again for those that don't know we are cousins um not play play cousins we real first cousins our mamas came out the same vagina
Seven:So alcohol speaking.
Speaker 6:So I am I am divorced. I am forty-five and I do not have children. And so I did not feel that pressure to get remarried. Um or even have children per se. Because I just disappointed people. I really don't give a fuck what anybody says. Um but I definitely got the comments. Yeah. I definitely got the when I was married. I got married young. I got married when I was in the military. I was like 23. And then we we separated when I was 27.
Ebony:Um so it was the oh my god, I can't believe you're you're getting a divorce when you're so young. And then it was the oh when are you gonna have kids? Do you want kids? It was the stupid, do you like kids? You know that.
Speaker 6:And then it was the even ignorant, oh who's gonna take care of you when you get old? See, I got married, yeah. You know, like who who's this first of all? Let's be clear the majority of people in nursing homes have children. Yeah, right? Um, so it's those comments. It's never been pressure, it's just ignorant ass comments.
Speaker 5:And I, for one, want to be the the person that breaks that cycle. Like, I have a daughter, she's five, and I will never ever do that to her. Like, I want her to live her life, I want her to travel, do all the experiences, just be herself. I'm not gonna be like, why don't she no, do you like whatever it is in your head, that's what you do. Like, don't let nobody make you feel no kind of way because I think, sorry, the older generation in their day, it was about getting married and having babies. Right. But like, we have we have dreams, we have things that we're interested in, we want to see the world, we wanna whatever the fuck it is, even if you do want to get married and have kids, do that. But let everybody just do what they want to do because that pressure stuff, it does matter. And I I for the longest I ignored it and I pushed it to the back, and I'm like, I'm like, I can't make this man propose to me, and I'm okay that he doesn't, like, whatever.
Tam Mac:I mean, you just dodged a bullet. Like, if he didn't propose to you yet, it's for a reason. Right for a freaking reason. It's for a reason.
Speaker 5:And marriage should not be the goal for women. Like, I'm sorry, like my daughter, I want her to do her thing. Like, she's so talented, so do your thing. Like, like following after a boy or a man, that can take it from experience. That like it's not the way.
Speaker 6:I think it's okay though, for women to be single. I read an article the other day, and it said that women over their age of 45 that make over a hundred thousand dollars a year are single and happy. And that said in my spirit because that's me. Um and after what I have gone through, I know that I'm saying that because I'm, you know, going through a breakup. Because I definitely said that after my divorce, I never want to get married again. Um, so I'm not saying that I will never be in a relationship again, but I am saying that if that does not happen for me, I'm fine. Like my cousin knows I will hop on a plane in a heartbeat. Yeah. Um, that is the only aisle that I want to walk down at the moment. Um, I am fine with that. I can have a great life without the other things. Yeah, I think. I think the narrative is changing too now, right? Like they have far more single women than there were before. Now, to me, my parents have been married for 50 years, right? Which is a beautiful thing. I don't know that I could have stayed watching the dynamics of their relationship, and I realize I probably haven't settled down because I get to choose. Like, I don't have to put up with somebody else and shit. Like I I can walk when I want to walk, I can be peaceful and happy. But there was at one point in time, marriage made sense, right? Women didn't make as much as men, right? And so they had to rely on it was security, so they had to rely on men. I think the dynamics have changed now where there's more women that are making more than men, which is normally the men that I date don't make as much as me. Now I don't judge, that's fine. But I think that's what I find the majority of time. And now I get to choose. So I I'm loving, I love single life.
Michael:I get to go in the flowers and pluck my butt, but I can do it when I want.
Speaker 6:Come here. Yeah, and I don't have to. Now that doesn't mean I haven't been in shitty ass relationships and put up with some bullshit. I've definitely done that, right? That's my own work that I'm still dealing with and working through. But I do get to choose and don't have to rely on a man to be here to support me to make me happy. Like I can't.
Tam Mac:I didn't even have it to where I could support my own self, and I still wasn't putting up with it. I would live under a bridge before you ever feel like you would tell me what I should do with my life.
Speaker 6:So I mean I'm not saying that I'll put up with it. And I'm not saying that. Is that okay? No. No, I I would want, no, I don't necessarily want marriage. I want a partnership. So I need somebody that comes in as my partner. If it ends up in marriage cool or not, I'm fine with that too. So I don't, I want the companionship, okay, but I don't need you to take care of me. Now I want somebody who's gonna show up for me. And I want to be able to show up for them too. Like that should be a mutual thing. But I don't need to have you to survive. I mean, I have enough support around me.
Tam Mac:That's the crazy part because I remember hearing somebody say somebody asked Jada a question, Jada Smith a question about need and Will to make her happy. Or I think Will was asked this question, don't quote me, but one of them was asked this question. And Will Smith was like, I don't need to make her happy. She makes her happy. That you know what I'm saying? I'm just along for the ride. I'm here for the support. And that was the real shit I haven't heard.
Speaker 6:Like, I guess I mean it is because like I get what you're saying. I'm not saying that I want to be single forever. That's not what I'm saying. Right. But I'm saying that if a relationship, the kind of love that I desire does not happen, I am okay because I am never going to settle ever again.
Speaker 5:Right. So it seems like the man in the room may have um some thoughts. I did hear clear stone.
Seven:I did hear some things.
Michael:I'm just sitting here, just I'm just sitting here eating up what you know, what y'all dish and how it tastes good, you know. Oh, it didn't be heat, okay. I mean, I guess. So, so so just I understand, I I I understand everybody in the room. And like I said, I don't know how these niggas is. So, you know, I can only speak on how, you know.
Speaker 6:But you know some. You know you gotta know some. I'm just saying. We know you gotta do some. You know some. So when you have those conversations with them, right?
Michael:You know, I have real conversations with with with people, man.
Speaker 6:So so so what what do they say? Do they know first of all, do they know that they're fuck boys? Because you gotta know that. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Michael:I mean, just that just as much as today's woman that is out there is proud of them being out there, these guys are just as proud as being, you know, FBs.
Tam Mac:That's awful. And but so when the F B meets a R B, they can't get in their feelings.
Michael:So why does she gotta be an R B? Why can't she be a H-O-E? Because that doesn't seem to be I'm just saying, what I'm saying is you give you give the man the negative shit, and then she's a boss bitch.
Tam Mac:I didn't say boss, I said real. Okay, okay.
Michael:Okay, okay, but what I'm saying, alright, so here we go.
Speaker 6:Go ahead, go ahead. Put the cup down.
Michael:The fuck boy could be a real nigga too, right? Hell but just as just as much based on our description. Based on your description, uh-huh, no.
Speaker 6:Oh, okay.
Michael:But based on a reality of the individual, it could be. Because first off, first off, let me let me let me fly this plane and land this motherfucker. You know what I mean? No, I'm just playing playing. But uh, but what I'm trying to get at is basically is guys over time, right? And I'm not saying this for all guys, I'm just saying this for what we're talking about right now. But just as much as women have been burnt over the years, there's a lot of guys that have been burnt over the years. And so just as much as the guys have been burnt over the years, and they like, you know, hey. Let's be honest, let's be honest. Yeah, let's be honest. Because because there's just as much dirt coming from from up under your nails as it is uh uh an FB. Very clear. And just as much as there are good women out there, there are bad women. There are good guys out there, there are bad guys.
Tam Mac:Here's my question. My question is why is it acceptable for the FB not to recognize this and heal himself, but the woman has to do it to accept the FB? That's my question.
Michael:But how is that though? Because a lot of times we have to accept each other in the circumstances that we deal with. A lot of times I don't want to deal with you, but I gotta be with you. Because of the circumstances. In the same way, when every time you get your ass smacked around and you bring your ass back, but then you want sympathy from everybody else.
Tam Mac:If I'm getting smacked around, we both sit in the hospital.
Michael:But but that's not that's not our aspect. So so all I all I'm all I'm getting at is all I'm getting at is is there are traumas on both ends.
Tam Mac:Right.
Michael:There are traumas that men have been through just as much. And then let's let's not let's not pin this on today. This is an unbreakable black man. Let's pin this, whatever. But let's pin this all on like like all the way back in the day, back in slavery day. Like, we never been on the same accord. We've never been on the same accord, we've always been battling with each other. We've all we play like, oh, you better not touch my black queen.
Tam Mac:But why is that? Let's get to the real. Why is that? Why have we always been hit against each other since way back then?
Michael:Because we've been fucking auction pieces. We've been slaves, we've been separated, we've been we've been Jim Crow. Why? Because the family is strong.
Tam Mac:Powerful together, yeah.
Michael:Right. So so now so now we are here. And and and we don't know if it's the we we're too busy worrying about the chicken and the egg.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Michael:Right. But I I really do feel like, you know, I hear I could be by myself. I don't need this and I don't need that. And I'm like, damn.
Speaker 6:I never said that. And first of all, I didn't say that with a neck roll.
Michael:My bad. That'd be dramatic. And I don't think that's a good one.
Seven:We don't need anybody else. We made sure to say we're.
Michael:And remember, guys, what I always say. Listen to the message. Don't pay attention to the messengers. Because sometimes they look at what the messenger is doing and all that stuff instead of listening to the valuable message at hand. But let's go back.
Speaker 5:But we agreed with you when we said we need each other. We agreed with each other.
Tam Mac:But see, here's the thing. It's not that we're saying we don't need a man. It's we're saying we are choosing our piece for that by the wrong man. Or being saying we don't have.
Michael:But but uh first off, why y'all saying that? Y'all start off wrong.
Speaker 3:What do we do? Who is it?
Michael:Y'all, y'all, oh yah, y'all. I'm shot.
Speaker 6:Who is y'all and what do you do?
Michael:YouTube. When y'all, when y'all in the early in the in the early days, in the early days, in the early ages. Y'all know y'all passed up the good guys. Y'all know y'all passed up the good guys. So let me say this. Y'all know that y'all passed up. Y'all know that y'all passed up the squares. Y'all know. Y'all know.
Speaker 6:I'm still I don't think I've ever passed up a square. Aww.
Ebony:I did.
Speaker 6:I wouldn't own that.
Tam Mac:I did not.
Ebony:Thank you.
Tam Mac:But you can be saying about men. Men look over good women. You really got me on the book.
Michael:But what's the what's the definition? What's the definition of what you were saying, Kiki Sorry?
Speaker 6:Maybe, maybe one. Maybe, and that's a maybe. And then I have one.
Michael:Are you talking about the good guy?
Speaker 6:She said she has a I said maybe. Maybe one. Maybe one. I definitely did. I've had someone. But in the pastor now, I couldn't have been a pastor's wife.
Michael:And no, and so okay, but see, for me, more recent times, I've been running into what could what is a good guy now, but you still have unhealed trauma.
Tam Mac:So yeah. And you don't want to mess them up.
Speaker 6:So yeah, you could be good guy. And but I also see that there is very much so unhealed trauma. I've been running to that a lot lately. Like you've been married before, you've been with somebody before, you've been one of those guys that's been burnt before. But now here I am. And I've been burnt before too.
Speaker 5:You know, but I've never you're still open.
Speaker 6:But I'm still open because I haven't done those things. I've never been married. I only have one kid. You know, I'm still younger.
Tam Mac:Hypothetically speaking, you meet someone that is in the healing process as well as you being in your healing process. I feel like if you guys can heal together, then that will make the world of a difference.
Speaker 6:Under yes, that will make a world difference. However, you don't think it's important for you to heal yourself first? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know that you are you ever really truly healed? No, I mean there's a lot of stuff that we're talking about like deep down. I think there's certain things like it's certain things that I will allow, it's certain things that I will allow you to heal with me. Give us some buttons. Like what's like, okay, you can't heal the shit that I have inside for me and growing up with my parents. Right. You can't do that, right? Right. And when I say my parents, let me not say, well, yeah, I can say my parents, but more so, let me just point out me and my mom, you can't do shit about that. Yeah, right. You can't, you know, so that's something that I have to like. I'm okay with, like you said, letting you know what my trauma is. I'm okay with talking to you about it and things like that, but you can't help me heal that. You can't you can't even help me heal. You can't even help me heal from an ex. You can't. That's something that I have to do. Like, you can't, I can't crawl. But like if he had jealousy issues, that's some shit that you need to work on before you come over again.
Ebony:Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying?
Tam Mac:To a certain extent. Like, I feel like I've healed a lot, however, I'm not all the way there yet. Right. I am at least to the point where I am stable enough to know who I am. Yeah. You know, and I feel like um I can heal or at least try to heal with someone beyond that point because I know in the back of my mind that once I start seeing those warning signs, it's time for me to go. Like this is no longer serving purpose.
Speaker 6:Do you think it's okay? Okay, let's just say it's those certain things that, like you just said, do we ever really heal? Right? Do you think it's okay to just I guess where you are now, you're not all the way to the way under your head, and just go ahead and jump into the and allow it to go and just be happy. Like I'm where I'm at now, I'm I'm living by living the moment. Yeah. Because I don't know, like dwelling off the edges. But that's healing. That's a part of your healing.
Michael:I I know, I know for for for me for me, when I went through both of like like my strong breakups that I went through. They were on the same Richter scale of my parents dying, or like somebody I love died.
Speaker 6:You know, you mean like the hurt from it? The hurt from it.
Michael:Yeah.
Speaker 6:Oh, you actually had your heart broken?
Michael:I have.
Speaker 6:He looked like bitch a couple times. I'm just a little shocked. I'm sorry.
Michael:No, no, no, I have. Um, yeah.
Speaker 5:I'm so sorry. But I think this is important.
Michael:You I will interrupt everything if I well, I mean, you know, we normally take a break eventually, but y'all, y'all want to take a break real quick.
Speaker 5:I mean, she has to peace. I just don't know how much or I can. Because I said something. Okay, yeah, let's let's take a little 15 minutes. But please pin that because we need to hear your break.
Tam Mac:Don't forget what you was about to say. What you were gonna say? The Richter scale.
Speaker 6:The Richter scale. Oh, I'm not gonna forget that because I didn't get his thing. Okay, I just can't we're back.
Speaker 5:Yeah. And we're back. And uh, Mr. Unbreakable Black Man, you was having a moment.
Michael:I was so like I was saying earlier, yes, my heart has been broke before. It has been broke twice. Kinda keep that at that. Um And um Yeah, I've I've had my heart broke before, and um, so um So I'ma do I'm gonna do the full. I'm not gonna be like my side of the story. So in retrospect in my first um my first marriage, my um my relationship with my daughter's mother, um I was not stable, I had no good job, um, I was a jailbird, you know, um, I was one of those young, dumb just anything that sounds exciting, I did it. And so with that being said, I used to always get my ass in trouble. Uh once I got older, I figured, you know, hey, I wanna, you know, pursue better things. And so when I, you know, came three months from you know being home, I got married. Um so that was uh a challenge all by itself because I'm trying to support somebody that had, you know, kids of their own with an income that I don't have. So that was a mental block. You know, we say that we don't heal ourselves before we get into something. I was not healed from nothing when I got into my first relationship.
Ebony:Can I interject and ask a question though? No problem. So you said that you got married, what is it, three months after coming home? So did you know her before you were incarcerated? Or is that another celebrity?
Michael:It's a story, but I'll tell it. Um Yeah, I I knew her prior. Um, she was one of my cousins uh best friends. Um earlier I I would have never thought that I would have talked to her because she used to talk to somebody I knew back in the day, and so we never even looked at ourselves like that, and then one day out of nowhere we hang out, you know, and that led to us talking about living with each other, and we were like, Well, well, she was like, I don't want to live with nobody I ain't married to, and then my dumbass three months.
Seven:Let's get married.
Michael:Well, why don't we just go down to the courthouse and get married?
Ebony:Meet me at the office, bro.
Michael:So, so and the fun but the funny thing we always joke about is you know, we say that these people that date forever and then get married, that shit don't last at all. But we got married in three months and it lasts for 10 years. Oh, okay. And we still cool as shit today because we had a foundation of friendship before we even got into a relationship, and that's kind of why my dumb ass said, well fuck it, let's get married.
Speaker 10:Like, we cool, like shit, why not?
unknown:We cool.
Michael:Everybody's like, that wasn't romantic. I was like, I don't think there was really much.
Seven:So that's really what you said?
Michael:Yeah. There's no sugar coating.
Seven:We cool.
Michael:I ain't say we cool.
Seven:Did you get on M Y?
Tam Mac:No. Oh, damn. Y'all want to hear how I got proposed to? Oh. Yes. Yeah. New Year's Eve, wake up in the morning, he gets up, come back, throw a box at me, and say, So you want to do this? Oh, ooh.
Michael:I mean that slick could be romantic.
Tam Mac:No, no. No, everybody. I always think I'm joking when I say this. I feel like that was a real deal arranged marriage. Oh, because we both felt pressure coming from both sides. So it wasn't one of those, I'm marrying you because I'm in love with you. It was I'm marrying you because I want all this shit to stop, pretty much. You know what I'm saying? Because it you comments and stuff. The pressure.
Speaker 5:And let me say But I wanna I wanna say this, like, you know, sometimes when we talk about like the things that we're trying to heal from, and we mention our childhood and we mention parenting, it's not meant to like put our parents down. And I don't know everybody's dynamic, so I'm not gonna speak for everybody, but I will say that our parents, and my my parents were a lot young, both of them were younger than me when they had me. I was 37 when I 36 when I had my daughter, but like what I'm trying to say is we all parent from where we are at that time, and we don't have all the answers, so we are all probably gonna F our kids up in some way.
Speaker 6:Can I just say I'm sorry that you guys felt pressured to do everything that you had to do? Because fuck that. Like I wish I'm over here thinking like I wish my mama, grandma, whoever the hell would be like when you gonna have a kid, when you have one. Yeah. When you gonna get married, when you do don't do that.
Speaker 5:Our parents, or my I'm not gonna say our because I, you know, but I did feel pressure, but maybe it's other we all got something, like our all our parents did something that the other ones didn't do, and we like, damn, I I hate that your parents didn't like that's all over the board. And I take that because I did feel a lot of pressure, not necessarily growing up, but once I grew up, and you know, like I was always into boys, but I feel like even that was some of the pressure stuff because it was in my experience, it was always harped on about a boyfriend, and it was like, eh, a boyfriend, and it's like, no, like let's teach our kids, boys and girls, to just enjoy their life, don't be focused on having a boyfriend, like that's where all that stuff goes left.
Speaker 6:See, that's what y'all were raised, you were raised different than that. But that's crazy though that you say that, and our moms are sisters, because mine was the complete opposite, and it wasn't necessarily my mom, you know, it might have been both, like both of my pain.
Speaker 5:I remember both of them being like, Yeah, boyfriend, and it was like this jokey thing all throughout though, you know, and it almost sounded like a thing where that's what you want to do. That's the thing to do, you know. But it wasn't that wasn't the only thing to do. Like it was go to school, get your you know, I would get in trouble if I didn't do good in school. So it wasn't just about a boy, but I'm just saying like that played a part. Right.
Speaker 6:My parents, girl, no. If I even fixed my mouth, it looked like I was gonna say, I gotta that's how mine was. My teeth was gonna be we ain't doing that. Hell no. So that's why it's like dang the pressure from that. Like, I'm just sitting thinking, like, damn. That was dead. It's like my parents like that for a minute.
Michael:Man, my daughter told me one day, she was like, Dad, if I can't have a boyfriend, I'm gonna spazz out. I said, Well, you might as well get the spaz.
unknown:Spaz out.
Michael:You're gonna spazz out.
Speaker 6:And I raised my daughter like I tell my mom used to tell me, you might have a boyfriend between the hours of 8 a.m. and 4 p.m. Yeah. When you get here, ain't none of that going on. Yeah, I don't know what you that none of that here, but it's good. Them school hours, okay. You might have whoever you want over there at that school. Well, but if what if I chaperon?
Michael:I'm like, listen, Linda. Listen, I was I was this the kid that you did not want your daughter with. I was very sneaky. I was very sneaky. And I would try to manipulate you into being sneaky with me. So we could be your mama could be in the van, but we in the back seat and your mama don't know nothing. So if I know me, bruh, I tell Messiah, I said, I said, Messiah, you have a fucked up dad. And at the fact that your dad knows that he's he's he was fucked up. He knows that there's other boys that's fucked up too.
Ebony:But don't you trust how you raised your daughter?
Michael:That is the craziest thing I do, but I don't.
Speaker 6:I was gonna ask, like, haven't you, the way you taught her, do you think that she's a little more discerning? Now she's still gonna fuck up raised.
Speaker 5:And that's what that's what is that what makes you be that way because she is so much.
Michael:It's not because it's it's it's my cousin calling me. Oh, I'm sorry. But yeah, but it's it's not so much, so so y'all gotta understand this at at this this point, right? At that age, everybody's vulnerable.
Tam Mac:Yeah, of course.
Michael:Man, a little boy, a little girl.
Tam Mac:At that age, they should still try to figure out who they are, right?
Michael:So so so so it doesn't matter if they got daddy or they don't. If they like somebody, yeah, they're gonna try to please that person. They're gonna try to make that person happy. And they might not go all the way with it, but they might let you do a little bit. That's a gateway.
unknown:Yeah.
Michael:Because you do a little bit, the next thing you know, here goes a little bit more. A little bit more, and guess what? Look, your daddy didn't even know about it.
Speaker 5:So when did she get that experience, though? Because at some point It's gonna happen. It's going to happen.
Michael:Right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Cool beings. But the preventative measure, right? You just doing a preventative measure. You still gotta let your child live their life.
Tam Mac:So basically, what you're saying is you you know it's going to happen one day. However, you're trying to minimize the amount of times that you're gonna have to do it.
Michael:There we go. That's it.
Tam Mac:That's it. I get that.
Michael:That's it. It is my job to be the protector. We all said that, right?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Michael:Right?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Michael:So that is my job, and I take pride in it. And that's why when her mama let her come, my daughter come stay with me. Oh, it was on and popping. I made sure that she was stable. She's been in the same school ever since she's been with me. I made sure that the school that she had was top ten in Georgia. I made sure that everything that she needed was provided for and then mentally and everything what she had to do. Because at one point, even her mom was like, I wanted her to be what I wanted her to be. But when she's with you, you let her figure out who she wants to be.
Speaker 3:I respect her.
Michael:And that's a big difference. And so, yes, cool beings that she go out there and some boy manipulate her. That's life. That's life. But it's my job. It's a game. You know, I gotta prevent him from scoring the goal. Nah, I'm the goalie bitch.
unknown:That's right.
Michael:Nah, if you if you if you do some moves and kick and score, I can't do nothing about it.
Ebony:I'm also teaching her not to be easily impressed by the bullshit. Right.
Speaker 6:Because I think too, a lot of young girls get caught up because they don't have that and they're not, I don't want to say accustomed, but they just haven't been exposed to certain things.
Ebony:Yeah. So the little stuff excites them. The little stuff is something to them.
Speaker 6:I saw something on Instagram, and they were like, oh, I'm showing my daughter X, Y, and Z, so they're not gonna be impressed by your dusty ass son taking the tablet.
Ebony:You know what I'm saying? So I think you're showing her now. Oh, you're gonna have to come better than that because my being, you know what I'm saying?
Speaker 5:To backtrack to something you said, and you know, I'm not this is not changing the subject, but I think it has a lot to do with because you mentioned our mom, our moms are sisters, and my mom, they it's eight, eight in all, which is a lot of kids. Like, I don't have eight kids. I that sounds like ho like horror to me. Could you imagine having eight kids and your girls?
Ebony:How old boys?
Speaker 5:How old was our grandmother when she had her first one? Like maybe in her early 20s, and you know, this is in the 50s, so there's that, but like my mom was the first girl, so our moms probably had two totally different mothers. Yeah, and my mom was my y'all sound like my family.
Michael:Yeah, I mean a lot of my family.
Speaker 6:My kids like eight kids.
Speaker 5:A lot of our families are boys, and the parent that one child gets, and the parent that like the third or the fourth or the whatever it is is totally different.
Speaker 6:Okay, let's be clear. Dale, not my my mama's dale, Gail, the baby, definitely got because she was the the baby of the eight.
Speaker 5:The number, right, the number eight.
Michael:Grandma didn't care. My daughter's older brothers, they have like a tenure gap. They was like, you get to enjoy the the parents that got fucking money. We had them when they were broke. They were mean, they were this, they were that. It was like you get the you get to reap the benefit. And so it's true, it's very true. You because everybody, everybody gets, they be like, you're so soft on Messiah. And it's not be being soft with her over the years. I've created understanding. And especially, especially, you know, I always say that this is the craziest thing. But my daughter made me soft, like literally living with me. Like I used to be very hardish and dickish about certain things, and I had to start to realize that my daughter has emotions.
Speaker 3:Because she's a girl.
Michael:And I handle me. And so I'm like, you know what?
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm.
Michael:I'm recognizing that this, I can't do what I used to do to your brothers, to you. So now, like, when we communicate with each other, but on the opposite end, she learned, she's learning how to deal with a man and his emotions. Because I don't hide, like I tell y'all, I don't hide my emotions from my daughter. And so I remember one day I came home and I just sat down and I was just, I was watching TV. It was really because I was just tired. And she was just like, you alright? You look grumpy. And like, like she, it it didn't intimidate her that I came in with a stuck on, you know, Negro face. Yeah. It didn't intimidate her. And I was like, you know, I think that that is like the best thing when the opposite sex gets to interact with each other.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Michael:I was raised by nothing but women, so it makes me be a little bit more understanding and have empathy and sympathy for women.
Ebony:But not just the opposite sex though, it's just good to have that kind of relationship with your parent.
Speaker 6:Yeah. Because I have that kind of relationship with my mom where I can just ask her, what's wrong with you? Like, why is your face looking like that? I had to do that. You know, like we just have we have that kind of relationship.
Tam Mac:Well, see, I I had to grow into that with my mom. And the crazy part about it is deep down inside I knew it would eventually happen. Me and my mom had a horrible relationship. You know, but she she had this epiphany moment and she accepted accountability. And that's all I ever wanted. That's all I ever wanted. You know what I'm saying? Exactly. Exactly. So it's like seeing that that growth is beautiful, but yeah. So I didn't have it, but it came right when it was needed. That's amazing. I'm waiting for mine. Yeah. Oh no, it took some boy. I didn't speak to my mom for years.
Speaker 6:So you know what I figured out, right? And I've said I don't have any kids, but I think women are just women that had kids, right? Like nobody told them how to raise them, how to interact with them, and a lot of them just did what they saw done to them. So similar to you, I had to learn how to have empathy for my mother. So now we can have conversations as women. So now I understand a little bit more of what she might have had to go through. So where I thought she was a raging bitch all the time, it was like, oh, okay. I understand, and I understand now how you learn to communicate with kids. You said kids are meant to be seen and not heard. That's what you grew up with. And so that's how you treated us.
Tam Mac:See, I I look at I saw it a different way. It's like even when I know you know, everybody knows you're in the wrong, even when you're doing wrong, it's still a learning lesson. Now you are showing me what not to do. Now I have to come up with alternative methods, you know what I'm saying? To get that same point across. It's not that you're doing it to be mean or spiteful, it's just that you're doing it because of whatever stage you are in in your life at that particular moment in time. You know what I'm saying? And make you more aware. So I definitely get it.
Speaker 5:Women are so like multidimensional too. Like we have, and not that men aren't. I'm just saying, as a woman, like, you know, we just have so many layers and our our bodies can do these crazy, unspeakable things, and it's in us. And it's just, I don't know, it's like sometimes like I like I always give my mom grace, like, because you know, like that mother-daughter dynamic and the type of bond that my daughter and I have, like, I wish that my mom and I had it, but I'll at the same time I respect what me and my mom ha have because that's what we were supposed to have, like everything doesn't supposed to look the same. And just because it's not that doesn't mean it's wrong, it's just that's what it is because that's who we are. Like, I don't know what her life was, or she, you know, there's things about my life that she don't know. Probably we'll never know. But it's that's just what it is. That's what it is, and my dad and I had a different dynamic.
Ebony:Everybody's relationship is different.
Speaker 6:Like me and my mom growing up, I did not like her. Um, I thought because my mom was a single parent, my my parents divorced when I was young.
Ebony:And um, it was rough being a moving from Detroit to Pembroke, Georgia with one red light.
Speaker 6:Um and just yeah. You said it right. Deep down and just that dynamic and just things that we had to go through and all of that, we just did not get along. And as a woman, I now understand why she was the way she was because she had to hustle to take care of us. Um, and so I have apologized profusely to my mother because I cannot, I don't have kids, so I cannot even imagine what she went through working, going to school, taking care of me and my brother, and all the things. That's why I do what I do for her with no hesitation. And we have such a good relationship now. Um I can talk to her about things that I could not talk to her about when we were younger. But I do know that my mom is one of those people I can talk to and there's no judgment. Um, she doesn't give unsolicited opinions or anything like that. But if I ask her, she don't give it to me straight with no chaser. Yeah. Which is where I get it from. Um, so I'm blessed that I have that with her because I didn't necessarily have that with my father. Yeah. So I um my mother. We have a I don't know, it's up and it's down. It's up and it's down still. Um, so we have evolved to have a great relationship more than sometime now. But it's still a work in progress because like you said, you learn how to deal with it because you know you over the over time you've you've learned how to deal with how you know your mom is. I've done that too. But I've also haven't had the epiphany yet. Well, she hasn't had it. So it's still uh I'm still at a you know up and down thing. It's like, dang, can I get it one day? So it's very hard for me. Like I love my mom down, like we can like I can talk to her about anything now. We laugh, you know, we we have our heart to hearts, but she still has her times where it's you it's it's not you can't hear or see anything but yourself, you know. So it's like uh and when you get in that my way of dealing with it is just I just kind of block her out. I can't because I'm dealing with my own stuff too as a walker. But do y'all parent differently? We do based on the relationship. I was gonna say that too. My parenting now, like I know I have some of my mom's ways, however, I pride myself on being a better mother, but not saying that she was a bad mother, she took care of me, you know.
Seven:Just trying to elevate it.
Speaker 6:This is what she knew, this is what she was showing because she came from eight brothers and sisters, so she didn't get the attention that she's you know what I mean.
Speaker 5:So it's like I should want us to be right.
Speaker 6:So it's like how you said you apologize to your mom because you know where she came from and what she's been to. I would love to apologize to my mom for whatever she feels like I have done to her or how I've hurt her with you know whatever I've done. But it's so hard when it's so much shit. Write it down. It's so much shit, and it's and it's so much shit that she has done. Like you shouldn't have no clue. And it's at my age today, I'm 34.
Tam Mac:For your own peace of mind. For your own peace of mind, uh-huh. Write it all out, right? And once you're no matter how long it is, once you're finished, you give it to her. But when you give it to her, you give it to her with zero expectation. No expectation. You do not expect for her to respond or anything like that. And once you give it to her, you let that burden go. Yeah, that's it. So now it's in her court. She can either see you or not, but you have to prepare yourself for both ends, just in case.
Speaker 5:And you know, I don't really agree that you need to apologize. I don't, I'm not there yet, but I do agree with that.
Speaker 6:Like, I don't know what I would need to apologize for either. So for me, let me let me clarify. Mine was not apolog. So when I say apologize, my mother has disclosed things to me that she grew up with that I'm not going to disclose here because that's her business. Right, right. But she has disclosed things that she she went through. When I say apologize, I mean I was a rat when I was a kid. I put my mom through some shit because I was dealing with the divorce of my parents, leaving again Detroit, moving to bumfuck Pembroke, and all of the emotions that came with that. And I was horrible to her, and she didn't deserve that because all she was doing was trying to take care of me and my brother, and doing that with no help from my father. So when I say I apologize, that's what I apologize for. So what you're talking about is a conversation that I had with my father. My father is no longer here, he passed away in 2012. My father was an alcoholic. I love my father. My father had cancer. I took care of him the last couple of years of his life. But the reason that we got to that point is because of what you said. I had to have the uncomfortable conversation with my father. Me and my father sat down and I laid it out. I said all the things that I needed to say. I didn't care how he received it, I didn't care what his response was, I didn't care about any of that. I had to release that from me. And in releasing that, he had some things that he had to say, but we were able to move forward, and I thank God that we were because a couple months later he was diagnosed with cancer. And we had those three years together and had a father-daughter relationship. So just like she just said, that's for you. That's not for your mom. That's for you. I'm dealing with person that is not ready. I'm talking about I'm being quite honest. I'm far. I'm talking about so far from ready to have that conversation. It don't matter.
Tam Mac:It don't matter if she's ready. It's about you.
Speaker 5:But what's your what's her and your dad's relationship like?
Speaker 6:So um, okay. My dad, if I'm being quite honest, he he loves my mom. But he loves like he has kids with her, you know, like me and my brother, and you know, they share their life together at some point. He loves my mom and he you know he wishes her the best. So they're not together. They're not together, no. They split when I was in the eighth grade. You know, so but so I've had my dad always been in my life. But when they split, my mom went through the single mom stage. I totally get it. I understand, I love you down for it, girl. I understand your struggles. I I get that part of it. You know, so I respect you for your grind and you took care of me, and you know, I never wanted for anything, regardless if you had my dad's help or not. I know she did because she did receive child support, you know, but in that aspect, you know. So my dad did, he just they split. I didn't see them as often because now they're split, so it's not the same as me seeing them every day, but it affected me, but it affected me because it was the time where it was the ninth grade to twelfth grade. And now you're missing an action. And it's not because it's not because I played with the both of my parents because I had the mom where you know I came here and I'm being turned against the baby. And I have a dad, but I'm being turned against you, but you're not doing anything to try to come forward to the topic that I can see. But I also know because I'm a baby mama, how uh that relationship can go. So that's why I said I blame the both of them. Because you either both didn't put forth the effort, or one of you did and one of you didn't at some point in time. But you never was on the same fucking page.
Tam Mac:Now, see, one thing that I can say about my mom, she never badmouth my dad, my father. So she she waited until I was at least 18 when I came to her and I said, Hey, I recognize XYZ, and she was like, Well, now you see it. That was my mom. You know, so that's one thing that I can say. She never my dad.
Speaker 6:My mom, my mom, oh girl. Bad mouth is an understatement, anyways. But but my dad never did that by my mom. Yeah you know, uh like I can be honestly, I can be true. I can be truthfully um say that my dad, he said that he never said anything bad to me about my mom because he knew that I would get her. Yeah, yeah. And I did, and and I'm not trying to discredit my mom. Like I said, y'all, I love my mom, but it's my girl, okay? She is my girl, but no, it's it's hit or miss with us. Like, it does still hurt unhealed trauma that she's gonna be. And she is, and and and I, and I have, and I've recognized this, that's why I just I love her the most. Like, you know, I I love on her as much as she'll let me. Let me say that.
Ebony:But you can't love her through that though. Like that's her, you know, yeah. So that's something that she's gonna have to recognize and she's gonna have to deal with, and she may never do that.
Speaker 6:Yeah, and see with my dad, he's not perfect, like he wasn't perfect. You that hit that nigga went missing at some point, you know. Like I said, that nine through twelve, that was that was that was I needed you, yeah, and you weren't there. You know, whether you blame my mom or or blank put blame on yourself, you weren't there, and I needed you to be there during that time, seriously.
Speaker 5:So he came back around after after you graduated, graduation, and graduation and so on, and up until 34 right now, today.
Speaker 6:So, but that time was critical, you know. So, and it was molding time for me as a you know what I mean. I'm a I'm going into a womanhood and shit like that, you know. And but and me and but me and him have had a conversation, we've talked about it. He knows how I felt, I know how he felt and where he went wrong and what happened. I know his side, he knows how I felt, and he knows my side. We've had that conversation, we passed that, but I haven't done that with my mom and it's rough.
Speaker 5:I feel like I feel for you, and I felt like a lot of the things you were saying, like not from uh I can't relate, but I can feel it, you know, I feel it. But you asked, like, or you asked about the mothers, like, do we parent our kids differently based on what we experienced as kids? And yes, like I think like all parents, even men, you know, it's like we, you know, we were all kids, and there's still those kids inside of us in a lot of ways, and like there's things that I automatically knew, like, I don't want to do that, I'm not gonna do that, but then there's the things like you said earlier, like you notice things, like it just happens, and you're like, damn, where did the fuck did that come from? Like, and then you're like, Yeah, I don't want to, I wanna try not to do that again. And I notice that I do stuff and I will hear myself and I'm like, you did it again, but like my daughter is so like and she's five, so you know, I get the teenage years are not gonna be like the five-year-old years, but we have such a bond, it's like an unspoken bond, but it's like but then there's the spoken stuff, like that I feel like you know, I I you know, the things that I may have wanted, or the if my parents were 36 when they had me, maybe they would have had this, but I have it, and so I'm giving her the things that I have, but I'm sure there's things I don't have that if I look at myself in 20 years and I'm like, oh shit, you did that, you know, we don't know. We're doing our best, but I try my best to parent her the way that the or shit at it the baby seven, baby seven, baby seven would have wanted um because I'm just I I've always felt when I was little, I was like, was I adopted? Because I just felt so different from everybody. I'm just like I did not come on this, and it's funny now, but like my dad and I I noticed are more like in um in a lot of ways, but even you know, like you said, like we didn't get along when I was younger. Like my mom was my, you know, I was with my mom all the time, but my dad is a talker, like you know, I tell Michael all the time he has a lot of this uh similar traits as my dad, and the way you raise Messiah is very similar, which I respect and agree with, and so there's a lot of that that you know, like I want to give her, like when whatever you need to talk to me about, you you know, let's talk, or if you get in trouble, tell me, like, tell me the truth, and I can help you. But if you lie and try to hide stuff, I can't help you. And so she tells me things, like we talk about you know, boys, and she's fine, and she's like, don't tell daddy, daddy. Don't watch this, but this is how we feel that is beautiful right now.
Tam Mac:I feel like we spend so much time, and I say we, I mean we as adults, spend so much time trying not to be like our parents to the point where we forget to embrace the part the parts that we get from them. You know, they might not have done everything right, yeah, for sure, but we take what we know is right and we evolve it. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? And I I feel like that would help in a lot of areas.
Speaker 6:That's it. Like they do. I take my I get my hustle from both of my parents. Um, my my mom and my dad. And my dad passed away at 54. He just didn't get to live his life. Like alcohol just took over and control him. So that's my regret with him that he just didn't get to live. Um, my mother has a heart condition, and like I said, she was a single parent. So there's a lot of things that she didn't get a chance to do. So I will take her on a trip in a heartbeat. Like, I don't I can't buy her anything because she doesn't need anything. So I'll do this. So I think that's another reason why I am like, hello. Um, I'm gonna do all of the things because my parents didn't get to do those things. So I'm going to live my best. My mom is like that. Like right now, I'm in school and like just trying to get to a better life. Just so I can take my mom, like, cause she ain't my my mom is nowhere. She has never been on a cruise. My mom has never been on a plane. I've never been on a cruise, never been on a plane. Like, no.
Michael:I just took my mom on one.
Speaker 6:It's just like I'm so ready to just show her, you know, outside. And it's the best feeling in the world, like, to be, because Lord knows this ain't always been this. Okay. Um, there have been struggles. Okay, and I think that's why I appreciate my life so much more. Because, like I said, it ain't always been this. Um, so the fact that I am where I am now and I am blessed to be able to do the things that I do not just for myself, but for others, um, and especially my mom is a blessing, and I do it in a heartbeat. Like she doesn't even know. Like, I'm planning now, for whatever reason, she wants to take an Alaskan cruise. I have no idea why, but I'm planning to surprise her with that for Mother's Day, and she doesn't know.
Speaker 5:And don't watch this. She ain't gonna watch it. She ain't gonna watch it.
Michael:She might be one of those 20.
Speaker 6:That to say, it is going to happen.
Speaker:Yes, yeah.
Speaker 6:So if that is your plan and that's what you want to do, it is going to happen.
Michael:So I remember when I had to I had to tell my mother what I did behind Plexiglass before they sentenced me to years behind bars. Right? And when I was able to book her cruise and pay for, you know, and not payment plan. Like I I booked the plan, you know, and was able to get the plane ticket and do I like to know to know, you know, what your people support you through and all that other stuff. At the end of the day, at you want to be able to give them everything. Cause you know, they didn't have like I'll be telling my like my daughter, like, girl, you don't even know what it's like to have one of them little real phones. You know, time changes, time changes so much over the years, and your parents don't really get to like like they didn't get to get to that point to where they can now enjoy all this crap that they got. My mama ain't never done a lot of these things. So I one I'm like Ma. And me and my mama, we we we have we have a growing relationship, yeah. But that is one of the reasons why I wanted to do it. And now I was like, I know probably like two days into it, you're gonna start giving them my dad. But I ain't I I I didn't care. And and that's why I was just whispering to Seven. I was like, you know, this episode sounds like a song that I literally just created for my mother. Right? And some of the some of the things that I said in there was one of the one of the things was was um, you know, I didn't understand then, but I do right now. And I said I never would forgive, but I do right now. And we ain't never had Jordans, but we had food in our house. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? And and they said struggle make you strong, and mama, look at me now. Say that. You know what I'm saying? Like I want, I was like, you know, I never really told you, you know, now that we're grown, that I get it now. You know, all the struggle and the shit that I've been through, and how I had to put my head down, and and and literally, like Messiah, my my daughter gets to see it like literally I work night and day trying to make sure she gets everything, and my family can get to benefit off of it because like if at some point I didn't have it, at some point she didn't have it, and it felt so good to watch my mama eat food on a boat, and I know that I did it, you know.
Speaker 6:But don't make you hustle harder. Like I tell people, I hustle the way that. With no kids, but I hustle the way that I do because I'm my backup plant. I don't have anybody else that I can call. I am my backup plant. And it is the best feeling when you can say, I did that. Didn't nobody help me with that? Didn't nobody buy my house? Didn't nobody buy I did that.
Michael:The people I always, you know, it's a it's a saying. And and and also we'll go past this a little bit too. But they always say, like, people that's in very comfortable situations grow up to be weak individuals at a lot of times. And then the ones that have to go through a lot of the struggle, them the ones that get up and they get out there in the world and they're they got Teflon as skin.
Speaker 3:Because you already been through that shit.
Michael:You know what I'm saying? You already been through it.
Seven:Figure it out.
Michael:And and and and and I look at I look at my mama, right? And when I look at my mama, I was around when my mama was, my mom had me when she was 17. So can I remember my mom in her early 20s still to this very day? I remember I I I be getting on my mom. I said, Mama, you remember that time you whispered in that boy's mouth and you tried to tell me you whispered, you kissed that boy's mouth. That's what she told me. I was like, I said, Mama, what you doing? She was like, Oh, he was just telling me the secret. And that stayed in my head for years.
Speaker:Like, how the fuck is it?
Michael:But but I remember I rem I remember when my mama had to, you know, do whatever she had to do to make sure that we had a place to stay. And we always had a place to stay. You know what I'm saying? I don't know how she got the money from how she wanted. But we had a place. We always had a place to stay. We always had food. She did not want food stamps, she did not want government assistance. She always, and then if she lost a job, like it people, I I always talk shit. I used to always talk shit about oh man, we moved every fucking every year. I had to move to a new school. And as a kid, you didn't know. You just like, man, why the fuck mama moving all the time? Cuz your mama is going through it, nigga. You just don't understand it because she's smiling in your face. And my mama smiled. And that's why I said, I forgive you. I'm sorry, because at one point in time I did not understand it. But now that I'm grown, I smile in Messiah's face when I feel at my lowest.
Tam Mac:No, my mom was too tired to smile. That's how that's how mine was. I get it. But she was working at two, three hospitals in the Metro Atlanta area at a time. You know what I'm saying? So it's like she'll show up to one, like, oh, I'm not supposed to be here. Like I got my days crossed, who I'm supposed to be at right now, you know? Like, I remember her bartending at the airport while working at these hospitals, but working her way up from RN to LPN to she is like literally working her way up in this in the healthcare field, you know, from field work to desk work, and I think that's where I get it from. Because on day number two, I ain't even been trained all day. I'm like, we're not part of my emotions. We're so kids, you know, so it's it's crazy. But I I have noticed that.
Speaker 6:But I think we get the I know I got the worst of my mother growing up. She didn't mean to do that. I don't yeah, she couldn't handle it. I mean, she had two small kids. My father was around, but he's out working. She's tired. She was tired. Right, like, but as an adult, I can now understand. She was tired. Like, I would be tired too. I don't have kids, so I get my. I give my eight hours in the time. I don't know how y'all do it. I was just gonna say, I don't know how y'all do it because I need my sleep. Like, I when you were driving home the other day, I saw it all over your face, and I'm like, I get to go home and get in my pillow core. She got a little person.
Seven:I will be 44 in three months.
Tam Mac:You might have a little train, baby. This is what I told you. I said, Saturdays, do not wake me up until 10 a.m. Unless it's an emergency. You know what the emergency is? Look, look, look. I got a bowl of cereal in the refrigerator, a cup of milk, you know how to reach the spoons, turn that TV on, make your cereal, and don't bother me till 10 a.m.
Michael:Yeah, but my mom would come out of her room, bust breakfast, go back in the room, and she goes missing. I was like, what that's for breakfast?
Speaker 6:That's why. So my mom growing up, she worked a lot. So that's what I'm saying. Like, I understand the single mom, especially when her and my dad split, she worked a lot. Even when her and my dad worked together, they both work though. So it was just like regular dynamic household. Mom and dad go to work, kids at home, until your mommy and daddy get home, but they always work. So when I got the worst of my mom too. When my her and my dad split, I was the one that was with her through the struggle. Like every single day of it. I was the one, like I have a brother, but once he turned 18, he left to go back home. So it was just literally me and my mom through the fucking struggle. And I have seen shit. Okay. Like I just so I like my mom, she when I tell you hustler, go get her, like she, I really admire my mom. Like she has like half the shit that she has, you wouldn't even think. Like I'm talking about land, horses, cars, all just the whole nine. She is like amazing to me. Girl, I ain't got no bone of that. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:You hear me like that.
Speaker 6:I'm not doing no bone of that. She my mom be looking at me like, oh, like what what did I go wrong? Like, I need help. Please help. Like, I know how to do this. But I was shelter. Like, I know my dad, like I said, my dad was on only was missing from 9th to 12th back then. So from 9th before 9th, all the way up until 9th, he was there. All the way after anything after 12, he was there. So it's just that little time. So I've always had my parents. I've always been sheltered. So it's like the go-getter, the hustler, like y'all been, y'all been doing y'all shit. Girl, I'm 34 years old, I'm just now doing this shit. And I got a kid, and I had my kids. And I had a kid when I was 20. And so just I'm a kid having, I was a kid having a kid. So now we're growing up together. We growing up together. And like now I'm on this. Oh my god, I gotta be the best woman ever. Shit. And my baby is watching me. She's 14. Like it's like, ooh. And I mean, I see that pressure. Like growing together.
Tam Mac:And yeah. It don't stop when they turn together. No, no, no. Like, it still goes.
Michael:Man, my mama is my I I be messing with her all the time. I said, Ma, you you like my sister. Grandma was my mama. You my sister. Like, we too close in age. Now, like, uh, this this weird.
Speaker 6:Now, how am I gonna play that? My mom got married at 18. She had me at 19. They all don't play that shit. She tells me, quick, I'm your mama. I am not your little friend.
Michael:My mama had me at 17, but I remember running and catching the bus with her. I remember fighting with her.
Speaker 6:Oh god.
Michael:Oh yeah. Man, I remember one time my mama came outside. This dude was uh this dude was upset because I was playing baseball and we were using one of his mailboxes as a bass. So he's trying to chump us off. And he ends up saying something. My mom comes outside, and my mom, like I said, she young, right? So she comes out there and she's like, what you say?
Speaker 1:Okay.
Michael:So next thing though, she went back in the house. I know what the hell she was getting. She came back out and the dude still talking this shit. She's like, uh-huh. Uh-huh. And I'm sitting here with her, like, yeah. Oh man. So yeah, I I've I've I've seen I I've even had it. I remember one day, you know, my mom was in a car and somebody clipped the line. We were ride down Memorial Drive and she just hitting the brakes. We going through light after light after light. We can't stop. We ended up rolling all the way down until I think we hit uh was it the Kroger parking lot? And we end up going into that Kroger parking lot down close to the HRM and had to go up in the parking lot and drive, and this car slowed down. Like and I'm sitting here in the car with my mama watching her break down because you know, I guess somebody did something that's you know, tour. And and you know, being a kid, you just like, damn, what happened? And you hear what happened, but you don't know how serious it is. You know, somebody tried to take my mom out, you know. Off of what? I don't know. But it when you get older, you start to be like, damn, mom. You went through that too. Why are you trying to raise me? Why are you trying to figure out this job shit? Why are you always having to move cause rent going up and you can't pay this shit? You had to deal with me, my and my my sister's attitudes, and we getting mad at you, we thinking all the problems. When things go wrong, we blame mama. Ain't that what Tupac said? That shit's so fucking true.
Speaker 5:And it's so crazy, but it's like somehow we do it. Somehow we do it. And I, you know, I haven't been through uh even half of that. My child is five, but like I feel I have felt that and feel it, you know, at times when you just feel so broke down and just you don't have an house left, and then something just kicks in and you do what needs to make your mom's superpowers.
Speaker 6:Yeah, I always say that God gives mom superpower. That's the only thing that I can think of.
Ebony:It's so true for y'all for y'all to shoot through each day. It's true. Because I don't know how y'all do it. I couldn't do it.
Michael:I think dads have it too.
Speaker 6:Dads who are dads, like yeah. Okay, I'm gonna look cool. Hold on a second. Let me reframe you. Let me reframe his name.
Michael:I gotta give my sprinkles. I'm just gonna turn and face the wall.
unknown:I'm sorry.
Speaker 6:If we had to do like a like a poll or ratio or number, just like on a number scale of how many mothers it is versus like you're a rare dad. Yeah, yes. That's you don't see like nowadays, yeah, you see it more often, but that's not something you see often. A dad, like a full-time dad, like a full-time mom. You know, because we carry the baby and the baby never leaves us. You see what I'm saying? So it's like you you she carried your baby and your baby's been with you. So it's like you, you're not a you're not a it's not typical. It's not typical. So so when she like just saying like mom have superpowers, like you do have a superpower that we're talking about. Yeah, you do that, yeah. But you understand. Congratulations. I get what you're saying, but I get what you're saying. You understand the everyday, like the dad, like let's just be for real. Unless dad, unless y'all in a relationship and dad is there every day, dad don't goddamn understand what mom be doing.
Speaker 5:So I feel like I I saved my daughter's relationship with her father by divorcing him.
Speaker 6:Okay.
Speaker 5:Because when we were married, I was a married single mom. I had no breaks, I got no sleep, it was awful. And you know, I saw through his setup with with my stepdaughter how he could be with our daughter, and it made me more comfortable to say, no, she'll be fine. She will have her mother, her mother will get a break. Let me repeat that. Her mother will get a break, and she'll be with her father. So she gets she actually has a and you can debate this, but in my opinion, she has a better setup because now she gets time with her father. Like I remember times when he would come around and she would cling to me, you know, because she it just didn't happen very often. And now she, you know, and I I love that for her. She loves her father, she loves going, you know, to his house, and we have a great setup. And so like it's great when dads are like you and have their child full time, and I give my daughter's father his props, like you know, he has her, like we do a week on, week off, and it's great. I get a break. Like, I I was a miserable and I was going through a lot too. Like, I had just lost my father, and I had a baby, and then he was cheating, and I found out it was a lot, and so the postpartum, you know, like a some women don't experience it. Mine was severe, yeah, severe to the point where I'll think about things now, and I'm just like, I don't even know how. Like, was that me? But you know, it's it's just like I still had to do the things, I had to take care of you know my daughter. And part of taking care of her was looking into the future to know that one, I didn't deserve the life that I was in, and two, she didn't either. She needed her mom to be rested and at peace. And now I have that, you know, and it's it's amazing. And but I love it for both of us.
Tam Mac:A lot of parents stay together, oh, I'm doing it for the kids. I'm only here for the kids, and I kids make the arc all the time. What it's nailed on the chalkboard.
Ebony:It is nailed on the chalkboard for me.
Speaker 6:I'm not staying with your ass for no kids.
Ebony:So I want to on national news worldwide news.
Michael:Shout out Buzzprout.
Speaker 6:Worldwide, I want to shout out my cousin. I have said this to her, but I'm going to say it to the world. Um, I respect you so much for doing that because so many people would have stayed. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Ebony:And the fact that you said, fuck you and fuck this.
Speaker 6:You have you have no idea how much I respect you and commend you for doing that. Because everybody don't do that. Thank you. That means a lot. I'm I'm just like, everybody does not do that. Like you said, this is not going to be my reality. I'm not doing this for me. I'm not doing this for my daughter. Yeah. You deserve better, so fuck you.
Speaker 5:And that's the leading going back to our conversation before we started recording. There's an article that went viral about, you know, having, and it's not about the gender, but the article is about having a boyfriend now is embarrassing. That is the part of it, right? Because it's like, I'm expected to, as your wife, to deal with this, to pray through this, to do, you know, to just deal with it. I'm sorry, I don't deserve that. I'm better than that, and I don't mind saying that. There's some things that I know I'm not better than, I'm not better than shit, but I'm better than that. You are, you know, abusive, you're cheating, you're lying, I don't have no support when a parent dies. Now it's one thing your dog died. Now, and dogs are special, yeah, but I'm just saying, your parents, shout out to the roof, but a parent, bruh. And where are you? You're my husband.
Ebony:Here's the thing though. And I just had a like bruh, he broke a toenail, bruh. You weren't supportive, he would have had a damn fit.
Speaker 5:And did, and did, and did okay, which triggered triggered. And so the point, the the the you know, is like now I'm a whole different seven. I would never fall for nothing like that ever again. Because I I always describe it as a dark place. I was in a very, very dark place, but I had to go through that to become the me that I am today, and I choose peace, which is why I can relate to these articles and things because I've been in that, and like, yes, I made those choices, but I make the choice now to choose peace. And anything that doesn't offer that, I'm good. I would much rather just keep the peace.
Speaker 6:I would much rather keep the peace. Let me say this I'm so glad that I went through basically what you went through, minus the marriage part, because I've never been married, but with my daughter's father. But I was young when it happened. I wish I would tolerate a go through something like that right now at this age. Like, so I it's like I I I hate to hear that you even had to endure that now. Like, it's like I I feel like you know, people go through stuff at different times of life. But ooh, I went through it when I was young, like in my early 20s.
Tam Mac:And ooh, that's a part of y'all process. You experience different things at different times of your life when you are meant to experience it. And if you keep going through the same stuff over and over and over again, what lesson have you not learned? Right. And that's true.
Speaker 6:Because I didn't think that what I'm going through now, I I said, I was like, this is 20-year-old shit.
Tam Mac:Yeah.
Speaker 6:I wasn't expecting to be going through this shit at 45 years old.
Ebony:Who expects to be in court at 45 years old having to go through the shit that I'm going through?
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Michael:It's just life happens and so I got a story, it's so funny. My life is a comedy skit made by God, I swear. So I get engaged, right? In April. And then my daughter moves in in September. I get married in October.
Ebony:What year is this?
Michael:2021. I get married in October. I get in a car accident. Not a car accident, sorry, I wasn't in a car. I get hit by a car on I 20 in November. My girl leaves me in December.
Seven:Your wife.
Michael:My wife leaves me in December. And that was my introduction to having to deal with everything that I'm dealing with and still be a dad.
Speaker 5:Like you could have died in that in like describe the accident.
Michael:So I was on I-20, I was managing uh two uh two crews at a time, and one of the crews had caught a flat tire on the uh side of I-20. And so when they gave me a call, I had left to go try to assist them. And I called the other truck to come out there so we could transfer everything onto that truck and they can keep going. Excuse me. In the midst of that, I was pulling off a lawnmower off of the back of one of the trucks. And then I woke up on the side of the road. The lady lost control of her car and hit me. And she said that she figured that she was going around 60 miles per hour. And so I woke up. Luckily, but I had a broken collarbone, all my ribs was fractured. I had a chunk of uh meat in my leg tore out. Um and I I kept going in and out of consciousness until I got to grading.
Speaker 5:And then he went to where a few days later, weeks later?
Michael:Two weeks later, I went back to work.
Tam Mac:So do what now?
Michael:I went back to work because I was nervous to lose my job because I was provided for my family.
Tam Mac:Spoken like a true mother. You got that cake.
Speaker:Yeah, you do.
Michael:You are everybody, everybody, everybody said, even, even, even my lawyer was like, you knew, you know, you threw away half a million dollars.
Speaker 5:Oh, because you went back to work.
Michael:Cause I was at work. It was a work on comp case. Sir! And I work, I work, I was working for a bit, I was working for a billion-dollar corporation. I was.
Seven:Well, who advised you? That's what I'm about to say.
Speaker 1:Don't worry about it.
Michael:And I I didn't know about nothing. I didn't know about the money.
Tam Mac:I had to pay my family or the bills. I was that's all I can.
Michael:I didn't know nobody explained anything to me.
Ebony:And that's a lot of people.
Michael:Let me let me know. Y'all gotta think about it.
Tam Mac:I'm taking HR. I had to have surgery on my spine, my upper spine. They went in through my neck right here, removed three cushions, replaced two, put a plate and screws in, right? Long recovery time. But because I stayed by myself, they kept me in a hospital for extra. It released me to um a personal care home. And my life fell apart from that. Because now I have no income. I can't pay no bills, and I can't even speak on the situations that were happening in these care homes. And I'm like, I'm seeing this. You know what I'm saying? So yeah, yeah. And I had to explain that to somebody, and they were like, Well, isn't it just you? I asked I asked to borrow some money. But isn't it just you? Like, aren't you the only one that you're supposed to look out for? I say, Yeah, it is just me. Don't you have a husband? So if you fall on ill times, you got somebody to hold you up. Exactly. I don't. You have that privilege. I don't. But that's okay, keep your money. I'm good. You know what I'm saying? So, yeah.
Speaker 5:Girl, and like we started out, we all everybody got a story, and this is so, I love this, but I want to flashback real quick to the accident. Because what is the podcast? What's the name of your podcast?
Michael:The Unbreakable Black Man Podcast.
Ebony:Say that. Okay, so this chunk out of how were you walking?
Michael:He was you know the funny thing, I nursed myself back to help.
Speaker 1:Hell no.
Michael:I went to Grady, they released me the same day.
Tam Mac:Sounds about like Grady. No, because Grady is a recovery hospital. They only bring you back to life. They're not in their life. My cousin got hit by a car. The same wasn't even in a car. He got hit by a car. And that's one of the hospitals that just trauma only.
Michael:They told me, Yeah, your clavicle will heal on its own, your ribs will heal on its own, and I had them just keep this bandage up and it will eventually close up.
Ebony:The drain. That's awful.
Michael:So literally, I had to change this pad out two times a day. How how like open it was. Yeah. And muscle grew back. Uh-huh.
Tam Mac:Yeah, so you probably had to pack it. And if you didn't go to the hospital and didn't know what to do, you wouldn't know how to pack it or how often it changes.
Michael:Shout out to YouTube.
Tam Mac:YouTube University.
Michael:I learned how to take care of myself because I was watching a video.
Tam Mac:Once again, spoken like a true mother. Everybody works. We have a bigger mother.
Speaker 5:We're gonna figure it out every time. And it just clicks because nobody is like standing in our ear. Like, do this next, do that. You just that is it just happens.
Speaker 6:That's why I didn't go to Grady. Like when I had that asthma attack, that is why so the building that I was in that day, I was in the student center, which is a block from Grady. I literally drove myself to VA. Yeah. Which was 35 minutes away. Yeah. I refused to go to Grady.
Tam Mac:Send me to Pete Street, Pete Mott to me. Send me to Piedmont. I will settle for Southern Regional Racket.
Michael:After I came home, I was still pulling glass out of my fucking woman. Like I swear. I said, what the fuck? I said, how much is the bill? They paused me $50,000. Because I rolled the ambulance back in whatever the fuck they did while I was there.
Tam Mac:I don't pay medical bills. If you don't get it from my insurance, you better off writing it off at the end of the year.
Michael:Because I feel like healthcare should be free. I have I was hoping that my job was gonna pay for it. I waited, I waited 364 days before I sued my company. Because I wasn't gonna do anything.
Ebony:Did you not file a workers' company?
Michael:I didn't until until the last day. And nobody advised. I did on the 340th day.
Speaker 6:That should have been the day you were battling that house.
Michael:So look, I had I had a lawyer, I had the accident lawyer, and he was like, yo, he was like, I just want to let you know I looked at your bills, and your job ain't paid your bills yet. And I was like, Well, they said they going to. He was like, my brother. He said, let me explain this shit to you in legal terms. After the 365th day.
Tam Mac:They write it off.
Michael:No, they don't write it off. They're not liable for it no more.
Speaker 6:The statute of limitations. It's only a year.
Ebony:That's why you filed that workers' comp claim out immediately.
Michael:And so, so this is this is my ignorance, right? I hate talking about it because I should be rich right now. But anyway, my ex called a work's men comp lawyer. I canceled that lawyer to talk to a friend of mine's lawyer, which was not a workman comp lawyer. He was just an accident lawyer. And I didn't know the difference between the two. Ignorance is a motherfucker. They say you to know certain things is a big thing.
Speaker 6:What my flip-floppet.
Michael:Because I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know nothing. No, my job didn't tell me nothing. My family didn't know nothing enough to tell me anything. Just like when you grow up. Did any of you, you know, probably some, but my parents didn't teach me about credit, no nothing. You know what I'm saying? So everything that I had to learn, I'm learning on my own.
Ebony:So I'm just putting this plug out there. Please reach out to me for all HR questions.
Speaker 6:I have over I have over 20 years of experience in HR. I have a master's, I have a master's degree. Um, yeah, I can get you together.
Michael:I need you by 2021.
Speaker 5:So this is a little pivot because we've been deep, but this just reminded me that we all have talents, and uh, we're gonna start from the end and work our way. We're gonna lighten it up a little bit, you know, because this has been a very heavy chat. Anyway, what is your hidden or what's things, right? Like, and Abby has the porn star voice, like the girl six, like sex talk, like your supposed to be my manager. I've I mean, here we go.
Tam Mac:Here we go. It's the Pisces in her. Okay, Tammy!
Speaker 6:So, my hidden talent is I should be a private investigator. Um, if there is something to find, I'm going to find it. So I don't I don't I don't know what my hidden talent is. Oh no. Yes, isn't that that's sad? It's but I don't I don't know what my hidden talent is. No, I know things that I enjoy doing, things that I like. Doing um I work with my hands, maybe that's what I'll say. So I like creator, yeah. Yeah, I definitely am creative.
Speaker 5:Creative, yeah, and now I don't know what to say. Um mine, I know. I'm like, dang, what is mine? I just think that I I think that I'm funny and entertaining.
Speaker 3:Oh, can I say yours?
Speaker 5:Yes.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 6:So my cousin is bossy, but in a good way. Like she is the one who organizes everything. So, like, if you need to get people together, this is the person that you call. Um, if you need to organize something, this is the person that you call. If we needed to do a family reunion, a birthday party, this is the person that you call. Like, she is going to get all the things together because that's just her personality. So that's I'm a planner. Like, I'm definitely a planner.
Speaker 5:I'm an organizer. Like, even for tonight, I was like, should we get wings? Should we do this? Like, what's the plan? I am a planner and it I feel like in bossy. I'm not bossy. But I feel naked without a plan. But I I do do that very well, and I I feel like I can manage a project, like very much so.
Tam Mac:You know. So you're not bossy, you just like to tell people what to do. That's me.
Ebony:But no, honestly, she gets it from her mom, who I love to eat it.
Speaker 6:Yeah.
Speaker 5:But Diva is like that because she's the oldest. Yeah. I just like to lead. I be seeing things that people don't. I see the blind spots.
Tam Mac:Mr. Mom.
Speaker 3:So I'm a man with uh for one, you know, I'm I'm very good with my hands.
Michael:Uh I know how to build, I know how to work on cars, um, I know how to do a little plumbing, electrical work. Um I'm also a landscaper. I do lawns uh know how to do architecture. Um I do music, uh, know how to make beats, I know how to, you know, write lyrics. Um I'm a podcaster. Um also I don't know. That's enough, I guess.
Speaker 5:But before you guys go, like that those that haven't seen it, he built a shed in his backyard from like nothing. And so you really like all the things you said is for real, for real.
Tam Mac:So I'm gonna need a quote on that. No worries, no worries. Yeah, my my list is kind of long too. Like, I can't even lie. Um I am a crochet fashion designer, which I really don't like to use the term designer. I I think of myself more as a um fiber art. I make wearable art. Um I am an artist. Um my god. I I do a lot of things. It's like I have to learn every day something new. So I'm always mastering something. So I don't know. I I think the list will be short if I tell you what I don't know how to Oh, I'm also a financial advisor.
Michael:If you need any advice on finances, you can always give me a call. You can always hit up unbreakable blackman podcast.com. Or I forgot what the rest of the dot com is, but the dot com.
Tam Mac:Backslash.
Speaker 6:Um, I don't really know what my hidden talent is. You ride horses. Okay, I definitely know how to ride horses. Um I don't know. Um I'm in school for nursing, so I kind of feel like I'll be trying to heal people. Oh black girl magic. Yeah. I like making people feel good. So um, yeah, I don't know. Um there's a lot of black girl magic in here. Girl. It's beautiful. So beautiful. I like to just bring my energy.
Speaker 3:In me.
Tam Mac:I have been nominated for designer of the year. It's December 20th. So please go online and vote. It is on my I think I did my ball. No, no, no. That was something different.
Michael:It's something different. Oh, oh, that was different.
Tam Mac:Yeah. But um, it's on my Instagram.
unknown:Okay.
Speaker 5:Well, you have to share your actual.
Tam Mac:I was gonna say it, but I think you're you're gonna tag it anyway, right? So it's Chet LaCroix, C-H-E-T underscore L-A-C-R-O. Vote for me.
Speaker 5:And I forgot one as well. I probably forgot a lot, but one of them, I do voiceover work on the side. So um, voiceover is one of those things like you know, where you're voicing something like a commercial or an audiobook or a whatever. Um, I enjoy that. I had a kind of a bad experience very recently, so I've lost some of my fire with it, but um, it's it's coming back slowly.
Tam Mac:I wanna learn that. I wanna be the the one that reads the book, like audio book, audio books. Yeah.
Michael:Oh shoot. Climbing out of Pandora's box is coming soon. I'm starting out with a book and then I'm gonna turn it into a Tubi movie. Okay. I'm halfway done with the book. I'm gonna be recording it with the equipment. Yeah, I got I only got basic equipment. Oh, hell yeah.
Speaker 6:What is it actually?
Speaker 5:What is it about?
Speaker 3:Ain't they gonna nothing?
Michael:I'll tell you that. Somebody been my book in two days with AI. I'm not saying right. That's smart, that's smart.
Ebony:But I want some lines.
Michael:Oh, most definitely, most definitely. I I'll after we get off of here, I'll explain.
Tam Mac:Yeah, I'm gonna do all weapons. You'll see you. I'm writing a I'm in the process of writing a movie too. Uh oh. I'm here for this. Okay. So yeah, yeah. I see collaborations. I see a lot of collaborations.
Ebony:You didn't even gotta pay me, I just wanna do it. I just wanna explain it.
Michael:Let me just invite it and please so so so so so I'm I'm really trying to slowly create a network and to where like, you know how like they have uh I'm about to bite myself. Like Zeus, and they have like different like things to where you can go to the website and see different shows. And so that's what I'm trying to slowly get my way into doing because I love editing, I love like production and stuff like that. So that's what I was telling seven that I wanted to create a um how do you say it? Uh what do you call it when you're just you're acting on the go? Improv. I wanna do an improv TV sitcom, like a family sitcom. Yeah. Kind of like how like uh what was that? Uh family matters and all that stuff was, but more so improv. Like nobody knows what the script is. Like, we just coming in and we're like, all right, look, I lost my job today.
Tam Mac:Look, look, stop right there, timestamp. Everybody hears this is his idea, so this opponent pay, so nobody can steal this name. Right now, it's yours.
Michael:I should do that then. Yeah, I'm gonna pat my gonna. I still ain't gonna man patent.
Tam Mac:As long as it's said for public knowledge, you have it recorded, time and date, yeah, you can also write it down in a letter. Yeah, knowledge, write it down, email it to yourself, that's also a problem.
Michael:At 1940, I'm explaining climbing out of Pandora's box. So, what it is is it's basically a young woman. She ends up being in a very nice, you know, life with her parents, and then her parents abruptly gets killed in a car accident.
Seven:Don't tell them. You're gonna edit all this.
Speaker 5:Yeah, don't, don't, don't put that with a lot. Yeah, yeah. I don't get the editing.
Tam Mac:I wanna see the finished problem. Yeah, I don't want to go to the bottom.
Michael:Wouldn't you like to? But yeah, so so when when when I was when I was locked up, I spent a lot of time reading books. And the books that caught my attention the most were those type of wacky, crazy books. Like I love Truth to the Game, uh Dutch, like Autumn Leaves. I used to read so many different books, and then so it got me into like, you know, like, man, I want to make a book of my own. Who's your favorite um author? I don't really have one. If if I do say one, I it gotta be whoever created the Dutch books. Okay. Like R. L. something. Stein, no. Something like that. No, R. L. Stein is the guy from Goosebumps.
Tam Mac:You know what I mean.
Ebony:I have so many. I read so much.
Tam Mac:Mine is I I love I just forgot the man. James Patterson. I just forgot the man's name just that fast. I I fell in love with James Patterson. Um, kill me if you can. I read that book in one day. Like, oh my god, he's my title.
Ebony:I've been like reading a lot of Nora Roberts when I need like a psychological throw.
Tam Mac:Yeah, I like her books.
Ebony:But I've been reading her books lately. I've been going through some shit.
Speaker 6:I haven't heard like Rashid and shoot his ass. Yeah, yeah. Whatever, and you can choose whatever you want. Everybody can always get that.
Ebony:Have you ever heard about the uh silent book club?
Speaker 6:And you just listen to your own like audio. Or you just sit there you just sit there and so you go to like different locations and you just basically sit in silence for like an hour and you just reach out everywhere. Yeah.
Ebony:And then after that hour you like socialize. So they call it the silent.
Tam Mac:Now see, I I get to crochet meetups like that.
Michael:I guess I guess that's kind of like when we went to that the thing with the sound everybody had. Me, my cousin, and we all had went to some it's Barnfire. There you go. And we put on everybody had on headphones. You could have either two channels, one channel play, one thing.
Speaker 6:Yep. I like stuff like that though. I like boat clubs and parties and stuff like that. Like everything is different. It's really fun.
Speaker 5:I did one on a on a um like vacation one time at a resort, and it was I don't know, I feel like the music wasn't, it wasn't like my type of vibe, but it was cool. I didn't participate for long, but I could see how it would be a lot of fun. So like, what's everybody's, you know, I feel like or shit.
Seven:Is that your name? Yes, no.
Speaker 5:So since I was, you know, that's her name that we're going by. But yeah, um, Miss Travel Queen over here, like, you know, you've been some to some really cool places. And so maybe we can go around and talk about like, you know, where what's our like next, or if we if money wasn't an option, where would you go? Type question. But maybe you can speak about places you've actually been that were like the middle of Antarctica. I don't want to find fall. I don't want to go there. I want to fall.
Speaker 6:I don't want to go there. Um, so my dream is I have eight years to retire. So my dream is to move to Amsterdam. That's that's really what I want to do. Um but I don't know like Portugal, is beautiful, Costa Rica is beautiful, Cuba. I don't know if I want to stay there, but Cuba's beautiful. Another place like Vietnam, like I would actually spend time in Africa.
Tam Mac:Well, when I make it here, I'm gonna look you up because I don't wanna I wanna move up. Call me.
Speaker 6:Call me. And just any place out of here. I'm gonna have to get to the world.
Michael:Because they said that they money is no money out there. I just wanna move where I'll be rich.
Speaker 10:That's it.
Michael:Where's another place? I know I don't I don't know about any place because all the other places are like that. They'll robbed it real quick.
Tam Mac:You see, what's on my list is Bhutan. And my grandfather, like, all our lives we were raised to kill and think that he was Jamaican, but he wasn't. He was really Bhutanese. So I I wanted to go, I did some research, and it's really inexpensive to fly out there. But they have this all-inclusive spiritual resort in those mountains. And everything is included from the yoga to the hot stones. I want to go and lick a frog in the forest under a shaman's, you know. Do that. Do that, but you know, I'm gonna discover something.
Michael:Don't call it.
Speaker 6:No, I didn't say no, and the reason I say that, I wanted to do an eat prey love, and that's what I did. Right. I got my ass on a plane, I flew for 28 hours to Bali by myself, and I did an eat prey love. I rode an elephant, I flew off a swing on the side of a mountain, I walked my little brown ass through some rice fields, I met with the spiritual advisor, I did all of the things, yeah, and I have no regrets, and I would do it again in a heartbeat at that point that it wasn't so damn. Oh yeah. So do it.
Tam Mac:What I found is like the round trip airfare was like less than two thousand. The hotel for a week, and the resort for a week, it was like what is a total altogether, I was looking at like 85,000. You know, so it wasn't expensive at all, you know, but everything who to who too. So what else do you want? You know, you go there, you stay in the I'm assuming the palace or something like a palace, you know, or a rather large hotel, and then you just enjoy you.
Ebony:Yeah.
Tam Mac:You know, the language they speak is English. There's only very few that speak the native tongue. So it's nothing but that big, you wouldn't want to go out nowhere. Get lost in the Himalayan somewhere. Oh god. Anyway.
Ebony:So where are you going at?
Speaker 6:Amsterdam is definitely. So I try I had been trying to. So the first time I went, I went by myself. Um most amazing trip to go. To travel solo is a totally different experience, right? Like you don't have anybody else to rely on, fill your space, fill your noise, like you really have to go. It is a beautiful thing. But so Amsterdam is where I want to retire. I try to I want to go every year. I didn't get to go this year. But every year. So next year is gonna be Amsterdam. I don't know. Africa is is on my is on my list.
Michael:If I was then cool beans or uh, you know if I had to, I would. But if I don't need if I don't have to, then I would rather have a vacation home out there. I don't want to start over out there.
Ebony:I'm at an age where I want it to be comfortable.
Speaker 6:Um I think if I was in my twenties, hell yeah. Right. Um at 45, hell no. Right, I would like a vacation home there, but that grinding.
Tam Mac:Like the adventurous side of me say, hell yeah, let's do it, but then I rem remember I don't like bugs. And I don't like to be too hot, I don't like to be too cold, and I'm like, You like that comfort too? You like about that comfort with the yeah, like I don't like, yeah. Yeah, so I definitely get it.
Speaker 6:Now I would love to experience so I would be okay with like going out there for a period of time, right? You know, like you know, every week I'll to learn and then bring my ass back to the comfort. But I would love to experience that. I think that's the way that I just love going because of that, because I have a stomach issue that's right. So I always feel so much better at eating outside of the United States.
Ebony:Um I would just go just so I could adjust that.
Michael:It's crazy because I I be so nervous to eat outside the United States. You shouldn't be. I don't be wanting to eat nothing. I mean you need you to realise it.
Speaker 6:I will say this. Don't don't eat random street food at it.
Michael:Okay, that but that's what that's what made I'd be seeing doo-doo kitchen, you know. I'd be seeing all these folks cooking outside.
Speaker 6:What do these kitchens look like when you eat here? At that part. What do the kitchens look like when you eat here?
Michael:If we're being totally honest, I've worked, you know, I've done some shitty jobs in my day, and and one of my jobs was cleaning up restaurants at nighttime.
Speaker 6:Yeah, what'd that look like?
Michael:Rats.
Speaker 6:You still eat that food.
Michael:I don't. Hey, shout out to Rays on the River.
Speaker 3:You had rats.
Michael:They had rats, the Piccadilly's on Hugh How had a whole bunch of roaches. Yeah. But the why so so so so so that's why I love the cook.
Tam Mac:Yeah.
Michael:Nah, I like to cook.
Tam Mac:So what you're saying is the fresh food, like home cooked. That's what you you trust more than the restaurants and the outside.
Michael:Because I I got a little bit more, you know, control.
Tam Mac:There you go. But but who's to say that the food that you are cooking at home is actually real food?
Speaker 6:Yeah, like all that processed food. I mean, I think that's the one thing about traveling internationally, is like you're getting fresh food directly from the ocean. So a lot of times when people go to these other countries and they get sick when they first get there, because that is a thing, it's because they're they're consuming so many processed foods here that their stomach is in shock that they're getting fresh stuff there. And it actually passes after a couple of days. I've been fortunate that I don't get sick when I go. I actually get sick when I come back home here that I'm eating this bullshit here.
Speaker 5:And our food, we were just talking about this with the chicken shortage. I feel like they be cloning these chickens and doing all the things.
Speaker 6:I mean, how do you think they have so many chicken wings? Right!
Tam Mac:They gotta. So with the drumettes, right? Or the legs? Yeah, how is it that the meat is all the way around? Perfectly round when they had to butcher the chicken. Exactly my point. So, who's to say that what you're eating is real food?
Michael:So I eat from a restaurant on Kellaro called China Cafeteria and Since I was young. I have never known what I really be eating.
Speaker 6:So I eat chicken from Chinese restaurants. It's not chicken. True story, true story. I know.
Tam Mac:I definitely ate cats. But we were living in my cats. I know. My mom used to love this little food truck man. They used to always be on the side of the road. She always ordered her shish kebabs from this man until he was on the news. No! Because he was caught cooking uh uh dalmatians.
Speaker 6:Uh uh. Not the dog the dog. But you know, he was a foreigner. I mean, they do, now I will say that, like in these foreign countries, they do eat all the animals now. They don't cherish them like we do.
Michael:I remember I remember when I was doing landscaping and we used to go to Quick Trip every morning to gas up. And there used to be like certain like uh Spanish women, Mexican women that would be at their car selling hot plays, you know. And so I used to always see her, I used to call this one lady the tamale lady, because all she used to do was sell tamales. And I had two jobs, so I worked landscaping in the day I worked at Home Depot at nighttime. And so as I'm working at Home Depot, I noticed the tamale lady, and so she's coming in the garden section and she's looking for something. I'm like, hey, you're the tamale lady, yeah. Yeah, I said the tamales and da-da-da-da-da. And so I'm looking at her and it looked like she got the chicken pots.
Speaker:And I'm like, bro, what the hell you got on movie? And these are cooking our food in the kitchen, and we can't see her.
Michael:So next thing you know, I asked her what I said, so what's going on? What you need? She was like, She needed something for fleas because she had uh a heavy infestation of fleas, and that's what all the stuff was on her and stuff like that. So I'm like, Sada, you telling me that my lips got fleas to my lips, hot to my lips, get them by the hell red and hot I said, I said, you know what, this is this is this is validation on why it is very important you know where your food is coming from.
Tam Mac:What your president said they cooking all the cats and dogs at it.
Michael:Get him off, get him off the air. Well, ladies, we had two hours and 25 minutes and do it. Good conversation always lasts long. I've had listeners tell me, nigga, why your podcast so long? Back in the day, it used to be like four and five hours. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 6:I would have to spend the night right here.
Michael:So yeah, that's why I cut, I try to cut it down to two, you know, and I try to be on point with it, because literally you get so caught up in conversation, especially. And you just yeah, you keep going, keep going, and then you wake up. I mean, I wake up. He did what's oh you ain't lying. So I'm sitting, I was like trying to cry. We had to definitely edit out because I remember, you know, I still got the little part where uh James was picking on me because I'm sitting here with my hands halfway in my pants, I'm asleep, and I'm still like, you think I can't do this? He was like, Yeah, you think you can't do this. I watched it back. I said, damn. All right, so three things. I said, I can't get too drunk, I can't do this sleepy, and I gotta stay focused. Like, sheesh, I look so horrible on that. But thanks, guys.
Ebony:I will expect my check in the mail.
Michael:Shit, when I get mine, I'll be sure. Yeah, you know. Hey shit, I've been trying to get monetized forever. Like, hey, pick me, pick me. You know, shit. I'm trying to get a little check too.
Tam Mac:I got a blooper for you. So I'm over here dealing with your limp mic.
Ebony:Like a lot of men in Atlanta.
Michael:I guess I'm special to make that too. After hours. How does that make you a fuckboy? Because I'm defending my guys on that thing. A lot of time, a lot, a lot of times, a lot of times people get get it misconstrued. Uh-oh. Right? I I be telling sometimes people this, you know, if if the man's if the man's thingy thingy ain't getting right, it must be something that he's not liking what he's seeing.
Speaker 6:So it's our father. That's what I heard.
Speaker 1:Joe Pete don't worry.
Michael:I'm sorry, but I'm sorry. Look, look, look, first off, it's it's not fair. Wrong. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair. It's not fair.
Tam Mac:What's going on in your side?
Michael:You could be dry as the Sahara Desert.
unknown:Oh my.
Michael:And you can still perform.
Ebony:Hold on, so alright. Ectile dysfunction is out there.
Michael:See, there we go. Everybody don't have the erectile dysfunction. Sometimes it's just that we're not attracted.
Tam Mac:No, sometimes it can be your mind is just not into it. Thinking about the bills that you have to pay. There you go. Or thinking about other things.
Michael:It's not always erectile dysfunction.
Tam Mac:It is a dysfunction of mine. Damn all of that. I just want you to catch your lifty mic. Move your girl. It's all lifty.
Michael:It's all it's it's all in the it's all in the different positions that you use. You see the angles? You know, it's all it's all it's all about the angles. You gotta have it at the same angle.
Seven:And that's what they do, though.
Tam Mac:That's what I was trying to do this whole time. It was making too much noise. I heard it in the mic. I mean in the head.
Speaker 6:But it's got to be the, you know, whatever. I'm sorry. What do I know?
Michael:Um back to our ending. Sorry. You see how they try to do us, guys? Next time, it is going to be a panel of guys.
Tam Mac:You want me to feel in for your sister?
Speaker 5:I might just need some backup because I love a good debate.
Michael:I ain't have no backup. I don't have no backup. Don't roll your neck. I ain't rolling no neck, baby.
Speaker 3:Don't roll your eyes.
Speaker 6:I didn't roll no eyes, baby. I am an angry black woman right now, so call me if you need to.
Michael:Cthulhu, what the fuck is this?
Seven:She's a little bit there, too.
Speaker 6:Right.
Michael:She looked, she's looking at me still.
Speaker 6:She's like, that's right. She said, I'm with them.
Tam Mac:Right. What you talking about.
Speaker 6:That part.
Michael:She's just staring at me like.
Tam Mac:That's how she looked at me when I told her to come in from outside. She looked at me like bitch, what? Like, oh my bad.
Seven:I got me a break.
Michael:So anybody that has not subscribed to the unbreakable black. Black Man Podcast, please, you know, take some time to subscribe. I got good morning inspirations. I also have the Friday night rambles. I'm slowly gonna be working on other things. And um, you know, everybody, I give a round of applause. Thank you for everybody coming out and giving y'all stories and being honest and open. It is very important that a lot of times, I hope one day that, you know, I'll get past 25 subscribers. I'm I'm talking shit, but you know, I'm I'm very known on on uh on Buzz Brown. You know what I mean? My my uh my second biggest audience is Japan. Okay. Oh, my bad. Germany, third is Japan.
Tam Mac:International internationally known microphone.
Michael:But for some I well, I just started I just started YouTubing. So that's why I'm only at 25.
Tam Mac:And you don't share it, you gotta share it. Y'all, I shared it with like everybody on my timeline. I shared it online, I shared it. I'll be on social media sometimes. But you don't share it.
Ebony:I mean, are you trying to get us paid?
Michael:No, so so you know. I'm social, but I'm social but antisocial.
Tam Mac:I get that. And I can't are you trying to see us paying? I'm like that with my own stuff, so I get that.
Speaker 5:But I feel like if I had all this, that's you know, I'm you know, but I'm trying, slowly but surely.
Ebony:I got trips to take.
Seven:Like, can we make it talk about what I'm trying to do? He's having fun with it, but now that's all that is.
Speaker 6:It's $10,000. So we need to make this happen.
Ebony:Yeah.
Speaker 6:The who?
Ebony:The pod, the Delta One pod is $10,000.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's first class.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I'm sorry. I need that.
Michael:We all need that. Me and Messiah do big the big seats on spirit.
unknown:Oh no.
Speaker 5:And he's not like I'm sorry.
unknown:No, it's not my ministry.
Michael:But my daughter, my daughter, my daughter had got my uh my daughter's mother so upset when she was like, What is this? This isn't spirit. She was like, You got my daughter thinking that cheap ass.
Speaker 6:Oh my god. Oh, she thought spirit was there. Yeah. She thought shit.
Michael:My my daughter, my daughter thinks that spirit is one of the best airlines.
Speaker 6:You're doing the baby wrong. You're doing the baby.
Tam Mac:No, see, that's all she knows.
Michael:So, so, so, but, but y'all gotta understand it's not about the name, it's about the experience, right? So think about this. We can't afford first class, you know, like some ballers.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no, no. She said that's not the working thing.
Speaker 6:I did say that it had to be first class. I thought there was a comfort. Uh-huh. And that's because I have point well miles.
Ebony:But spirit? Y'all take it over the spirit.
Michael:So, so, so, so, so, so we get the big seats on spirit. So, that's the we get the two.
Speaker 5:Yeah, but it's like a first class experience. Yeah.
Michael:It's so, so it's yeah, it's comic.
Speaker 5:But you pay for everything.
Michael:The snacks aren't that expensive.
Speaker 5:You pay for everything.
Michael:And I tell my daughter, I say Perfect. Choose what you want, baby.
Tam Mac:See, that's how they keep the prices so low. That is because that's how they're not.
Speaker 6:But that's like frontier. Choose, that's right. Go ahead. What you want?
Michael:You want you want the pretzels and the MMs?
Tam Mac:That's right. Oh, big.
Michael:Oh, do you want to go ahead? Go ahead. Go ahead. It should be like, Dad, look at all them going to the back of the plane. Like, you're right. You're motherfucking right. I'm glad you recognize this shit.
Ebony:Well, you know what? I'm not gonna hate because at least she's getting on the plane. She's going here.
Michael:Oh, yeah. Man, so so so a part of my therapy after after, you know, I'm just getting my daughter and my ex leaving. I spent the most money on my daughter just to go to Orlando, Florida. I think we spent almost $6,000 on Orlando, Florida, because we have flu Spirit. But when we got there, we stayed at we stayed at the Universal Resort. Uh, we went to both Universal, Universal Islands of Adventure. We got the Fast Pass.
Ebony:So Okay, so I'm not mad about you flying Spirit because I thought it saved money for other things.
Michael:Oh no, I'm a barber. I'm just a fool with the ball.
Ebony:You ball within a budget.
Michael:There we go.
Speaker 6:Like, so I thought you were gonna say they say that like budget is so that's move on is my best screen.
Michael:I like to I like to go crazy on things that I want to go crazy on. No, I get the spirit. I ain't taking my spirit.
Tam Mac:It don't matter how you cut it.
Speaker 6:I I got it now.
unknown:I got it.
Michael:But but look, boy, we had the best that we look my dog's like, Dad, we should just ride this ride like five more times just to show those guys. I was like, come on, let's go.
Ebony:Okay, so I get his logic. So, prime example, when I go to Solana, because it's not cheap, I will fly with the common folk in the main cabin instead of comfort. On my turn? Yeah, yeah. But it will be on Delta, that's weird.
Michael:That's fine. That's fine. I look, I don't knock nobody's thing, you know. I don't knock nobody's thing, because I like I tell people all the time, you know, I have to be frugal because I do this all on my own, you know, and I want things like a house and and and and a car that's paid for. So I got I you know, I got my shit together. But if it on the outside looking in, oh I'm a cheat motherfucker. You have to be. But there you go. I'm I'm I'm only cheat cuz I gotta be.
